Bronwyn Green

Promptly Penned: Choices

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January 13, 2016

We’re trying something knew this year. The flash fiction has been really helpful with keeping our creativity flowing that we thought we’d add some writing prompts to the mix.

Here’s the prompt: Some choices are easy, like fudge ripple or butter pecan, some choices aren’t. Can you guess which one this was?

Here’s what I came up with:

I opened an eye to squint blearily at Greg’s alarm clock, snaked a hand out from underneath the mountains of covers, smacked the snooze button, and closed my eyes, again. It wasn’t like I could actually fall back asleep–I had to pee way too bad to actually doze off–but god knows I wanted to. Desperately.

Laying in bed, even for another snooze cycle would put off the eventuality of doing what I knew needed to be done. Sure, it would only put it off for another seven minutes, but that was seven more minutes of continuing to live in mostly blissful ignorance. Seven minutes to pretend that the results wouldn’t change things one way or another.

I closed my eyes against the glare of the dull gray light glinting off the snow and pulled the covers tighter around my neck, burrowing deeper into my pillow. I must have managed doze off after all, because the unholy beeping of the alarm startled me awake. This time, there was no ignoring the call of nature. I had to get up and pee. And if I was going to pee, I needed to make it count.

I glanced over my shoulder at Greg. He was still asleep. No surprise there. A train barreling through his bedroom wouldn’t wake him up. I crawled out of bed, and, swearing at the cold floor on my bare feet, grabbed my purse on the way out to the bathroom. Setting my bag on the counter, I quickly reached under my planner, pulled out the pink and blue box tucked beneath it and tore it and the inner packaging open.

I stared at the hunk of white plastic before finally shoving down my underwear and peeing. You’re supposed to wait at least a minute or two for the words to appear, but I’d barely finished washing my hands before the answer was clear. The only question now, was what the hell was I going to do?

I didn’t bother to wake Greg. I didn’t feel like dealing with his wide-eyed panic. I had enough of my own. Instead, I pulled on my clothes and left my key on his kitchen table before I walked out the door. Some choices are easy, like fudge ripple or butter pecan, some choices aren’t. Can you guess which one this was?

Rising Blood is Out!

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January 11, 2016

Hey Everyone!

Just a little book news to start out the year. Rising Blood which was part of the Dark Pursuit anthology is now out as a single!

Check out the gorgeous new cover Kris Norris made for me!

Blurb:

Vampire hunter, Harper Yovanoff, is not happy. Ever since her former partner vanished, she’d been content to work alone. Unfortunately, her boss doesn’t feel the same way. Harper’s been assigned a new partner—a new partner who’s an utter pain in her ass. Elliot Zielin is panty-meltingly gorgeous, but he’s also reckless, not to mention, insufferably arrogant. If he’s not careful, the vampires will be the least of his worries.

Elliot knows he should play nice with his new partner, but he can’t resist poking the bear—the tiny, angry bear who’s so freaking beautiful, she makes him ache for things he shouldn’t want. Despite the fact that Harper has a stake with his name on it, he keeps pushing.

When a powerful vampire begins actively stalking and turning hunters, Harper and Elliot are forced to work more closely together than ever in an effort to save their own. With tempers and adrenaline high, letting off a little steam goes way too far, and they both end up in a place they never expected. The threat against them increases and fighting their growing feelings for one another becomes impossible. But if they can’t stop the sire hell-bent on their destruction, all the love in the world won’t save them from becoming the very thing they hunt.

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Excerpt:

Harper was already waiting in the middle of the far sparring mat that had been set up in one of the out buildings on the property. She’d pulled her hair back into a braided ponytail and had traded her jeans and t-shirt for black yoga pants and tank top. The stretchy fabric clung to her body, and the color contrast practically made her ridiculously pale skin glow. If it wasn’t for the flush that stained her flesh every time she was furious with him, he might have been concerned that a vamp had worked its way into the organization.

Christ, she was beautiful. With her delicate features and flowing black hair, she made him think of a maiden in a tower in need of saving—a princess. He almost laughed. Saving was the last thing Harper needed. She had the rescue part covered.

As if she felt his gaze on her, she whirled to stare at him, hands on her hips. She was small and solid. She couldn’t be more than five-two or five-three, but she was strong. His chest still ached a bit where she’d slammed herself into him.

Though he tried not to, it was nearly impossible not to let his gaze drop to the soft curves of her breasts and hips. But, he managed it, keeping his focus on her glittering blue-green eyes.

“You ready to get this over with?” she asked.

He tossed his towel on a stool next to the mat. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

Lifting her hands, she beckoned him forward. “Bring it.”

The second his foot hit the mat, he charged her, but she neatly sidestepped him as he’d expected. Pivoting behind her, he slipped an arm around her waist in an attempt to lock her to him, but she slammed her elbow into his gut and brought her head back toward his face. He shifted, and she ended up smacking her skull on his collarbone, instead.

Wrapping his free arm around her chest, he yanked her flush to him and tried to ignore the press of her ass against his groin. Before he had a chance to worry too much about it, she grabbed onto his arms and heaved her body forward, lifting him in the process and flipping him over her shoulder.

He landed hard on his back, but the fact that she was so much shorter than him slowed his momentum, and he didn’t have as far to fall. But, the landing still jarred him a bit. Snaking out a hand, he grabbed her ankle and jerked up, tugging her legs out from under her. He thought he heard her mutter “fucker” as she hit the floor.

She attempted to roll away from him, but he kept hold of her ankle. She kicked him in the hip with her free foot, and the impact was enough to loosen his grip, and she lurched free, leaping to her feet before diving for him again. He twisted to the side before she could tackle him. Clearly realizing in mid-move that he wasn’t where she’d hoped he’d be, she tucked her head and somersaulted to her feet and spun around to face him then lunged again.

He lost track of how long they’d gone at it. All he knew was he was winded and sweaty, and so was she. She watched him through narrowed eyes, and he could tell she was searching for anything she could use as an exploitable weakness.

Distantly aware some of the other hunters had gathered around the outer edges of the mat, he heard them discussing his and Harper’s odds, and he was pretty sure money had changed hands a few times. So focused on kicking his ass, he was equally sure Harper had no idea they were there.

Ignoring everything but the woman slowly circling him, it was impossible not to feel the anger that rolled off her in waves. Her rage and frustration were clear on her face. Her expression hid nothing. Despite her temper, her physical responses were carefully controlled and deliberate.

What would it take to get her to make a mistake? How far could he push her before that unyielding restraint faltered? He grinned at her. “Getting tired, princess?”

Her eyes narrowed further. “Go fuck yourself.”

Holding her gaze, he deliberately let his gaze slide up and down her body as his hand drifted down across the front of his sweatpants. “Oh yeah. I’ll definitely be doing that—just as soon as we’re done. You can stick around and watch if you want.”

Elliot recognized the exact moment her rigidly held restraint snapped. Something that sounded like a growl escaped her throat, and she launched herself at him, tucking herself into a ball at nearly the last minute and plowing into his shins and taking him to the floor. The fall knocked the air from his lungs. Wasting no time, she straddled him, tightening her thighs around his waist and chest, squeezing mercilessly. Drawing her arm up, she paused briefly before she mimed driving a stake into his heart.

Before she could make imaginary contact, he grabbed her wrist in one hand then wrapped the other around her upper arm on the opposite side. Throwing her to her back on the mat and following her over, he straddled her, his ass resting lightly against her groin. Keeping hold of one wrist, he quickly snagged the other one and transferred it to the first hand, pinning her arms above her head.

The noise that escaped her was nothing short of a snarl, and he couldn’t deny he was more than a little turned on. That desperate sound didn’t help matters. Grunting, she slammed her hips upward, trying to dislodge him. That didn’t fucking help, either. She did it again, harder this time.

Leaning forward, he braced his free arm on the mat next to her head and hooked his feet between her thighs, yanking them apart, taking away the small amount of leverage she had. He lifted his hand from the floor and gently wrapped his fingers around the soft skin of her throat.

Her eyes widened, and her pupils suddenly dilated, the black nearly swallowing the pale aquamarine color. Her pulse pounded erratically against his fingers. If anything, it seemed to increase the longer he kept his hand there.

“It’s over,” he murmured quietly—too quietly for the other hunters to hear.

She arched impotently against him, struggling against his greater weight and reach.

“If I were a vamp,” he whispered. “Your blood would already be filling my mouth.”

She stilled beneath him, and he couldn’t look away from her face. His gaze dropped to her slightly parted lips more times than he wanted to admit.

“And mine would be filling yours. There’s no way you’d just be a happy meal.”

Rome S01E06: Egeria or The One Where Atia Continues Her Run for Mother of the Year

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January 8, 2016

So, Pompey and Caesar’s forces are fighting in Greece, Antony is holding down the fort in Rome and basically being his d-bag self and making what some consider to be questionable decisions. (I feel certain the naked slaves fighting with real weapons as part of his sexytimes games fall into that camp.)

Atia, in addition to her normal scheming, becomes absolutely obsessed with making a man out of Octavian. She threatens to burn all of his silly books if he doesn’t get laid, and Atia has our boy Titus take him to the best brothel in town to pick out a slave.

This…doesn’t go terribly well, but they fake it and carry on. Atia also thinks it would help Octavian to be a man if he joins Caesar and kills some people. (See? Best. Mom. Ever. Actually, now that I think on it, I’ve met the modern version of Atia. She’s the literal worst.)

Titus also continues to counsel Vorenus through his marital woes. Vorenus is cranky because Niobe won’t have sex with him while her sister is in the house – you know the one Niobe had an affair and a child with while thinking Vorenus was dead and claimed the kid belonged to her fourteen year old daughter? Yeah, that one. Anyway, her sister is there because her husband is missing and she’s grieving, etc.

Vorenus and Titus go get good and drunk and Vorenus continues to cry on Titus’ shoulder. Titus goes to far to hug Vorenus and call him “lamb” while Vorenus is sobbing over the state of his marriage, setting the sails on the Titus/Vorenus portion of the Jarmada.

Somewhere in all this, Atia sends Servilla a “sorry I ruined your and Caesar’s affair and made him choose between you and his wife” gift. And what gift says “sorry I ruined your and Caesar’s affair and made him choose between you and his wife”? Well, a gold and gem encrusted turtle shell and a naked slave with a huge and very decorated penis, of course. Because as Atia said, “A large penis is always welcome.” And, continuing her MotY run, she has Octavia deliver the gift.

Servilla isn’t pleased with the situation but stresses to Octavia that she still adores her.

Titus convinces Niobe’s sister that her husband is dead, and the sister leaves and Vorenus is happy because he and Niobe are having sex again. Also having sex are Atia and Marc Antony. She’s of course trying to scheme her way into a higher, more stable position by attempting to convince Antony to marry her and declare himself King of Rome. This backfires. He calls her a harpy. She slaps him. He slaps her back. Afterward, he storms out and calls up all his troops to cross the sea and join Caesar in Greece.

Niobe and Vorenus are especially unhappy about this.

Actually, no one is happy about this. They’re even less happy while they’re crossing the storm tossed sea in wooden boats. And less happy still when Titus insults Triton and the storm worsens.

And now, the questions.

Okay…the questions.

My favorite part of the episode:

Atia’s servant ready to straight up stab Marc Antony if he did anything else to Atia. Sadly, I can’t find a screen cap of this.

My least favorite part of the episode:

Realizing the slave Octavian picked to lose his virginity to looked a whoooooooole lot like his sister.

Favorite costume:

Probably this simple white dress of Octavia’s. It looks super comfy. I’d wear it.

Team Atia or Team Servillia, and why:

Atia was being her motherly worst this episode. Even more so than usual, it seems. And Servilla was spectacularly regal. I really loved her reassuring Octavia that she was still welcome and that Servilla still cared about her. And even though Servilla is actively plotting Atia’s downfall, you get the feeling that what she’s said is true.

Favorite watch-a-long tweet (obviously used with permission):

Guess Jess’s head canon.

When Vorenus got drunk with Titus and Titus called him “lamb”. I think that really put the wind in the Jarmada’s sails. So to speak.

What made Jenny super happy?

Jess’ take on Egeria.

Jen’s take on Egeria.

Best Memories of Last Year – 2015 Was an Awesomely Weird Year

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January 6, 2016

So, I’ve been thinking about this blog post and trying to decide which, from all the awesome memories of last year, I should pick for this post. Then, I got overwhelmed and decided that maybe the best way to go about picking best memories would be to peruse last year’s blog posts to try to narrow down the choices and put them in chronological order. Clever huh?

January

Jenny Trout lending me her MacBookPro and me having an adventure at the Apple store. This whole experience will make me laugh forever. I can’t say the same for the poor guy who had to wait on me. Poor bastard.

February

My awesome husband got a bonus from work and he bought me a new computer. Did I mention that he’s awesome? Also, I love my computer. But I love my husband more.

Oh, and February also brought me this .gif gift from Jessica when I was having a particularly difficult time. Almost a year later, I still laugh every damn time I look at it.

March

One of my favorite memories of March is hearing my daughter, Killian, yell at whatever anime she was watching at the time, “Oh, fuck that noise. That’s not a character, that’s a plot device!” The scorn in her voice was almost palpable, and I thought to myself, Good job, self. That’s parenting done right.

Also, occurring in March this text from my brother, Martin. Actually, first, a little background. I’m averageish height (5’4″) and I have short arms – my family calls me T-Rex. Anyway, I got this text from my brother, with the caption: “I named it Chris.” (For those who don’t know, Chris is my real name.) I laughed for a good half hour over this. That same March, I got my nephew, Martin’s son, a remote control T-Rex for his birthday. Martin convinced him to name the dino, “Aunt Chris”, which, of course, my nephew did. Which brings us to next month…

April

My nephew decided that Aunt Chris, the remote control T-Rex, needed a long skirt like mine and a big purse like mine and wouldn’t I please make Aunt Chris some clothes because she was naked. I wish I could show you all the look on his face when I brought Aunt Chris the clothes I made her. He was so delighted. And adorable. But I can show you Aunt Chris in her finery. Honestly, Aunt Chris looks like she’s ready for Burning Man…or a Lana Del Rey concert.

Also in April, my first book in the series I’m writing with my girl, Jess, came out. I’m super excited about this series for a number of reasons. First and foremost, doing this project with Jess has been some of the most fun I’ve ever had writing. Secondly, this book and everything leading up to it will always have a special place in my heart because I was told by someone that I didn’t have the ability to write in this genre and I should avoid it. It was wildly gratifying to prove that person wrong. In fact, I enjoyed proving that person wrong so much, that brings me to May.

May

As I was saying, I enjoyed proving that person wrong so much that I released another book in the series.

And later in May, I met up with Jess (and a crap ton of other awesome people) in Austin for a con. Three of my favorite memories from the con involve my severe misunderstanding of our hotel room wall art, reading our friend the bedtime story, Go the Fuck to Sleep, and the memory of this day makes me happy.

June

You can always bet that my favorite June memories will involve our writers retreat in the wilds of Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. I love the week I have every year with these guys – though this year, we were sadly missing our Norris because she had a big deal going on with her June. But I cannot stress enough how much I love spending a week with these women every year. This is the selfie we took in the grocery store to send Norris. You might wonder why the grocery store and not the picturesque backdrop of Lake Superior? Because we’re so far out in the boonies that there’s no internet. None. Except for Kellie who can sometimes randomly get on Facebook.

Also from retreat, celebrating the legalization of same-sex marriages in the U.S. since that happened while we were up there!

Even nature helped celebrate with this rainbow! It’s hard to tell, but it’s actually a double rainbow! (Seen from the deck of the house where we stay.)

July

Every July we go on a family vacation to a different part of the Upper Peninsula with my dad and step mom, one of my brothers and his fam and my two stepbrothers and their fams. Some of my favorite memories include one of my nieces doing my hair, getting to pet a bear cub, getting to see the bell from The Edmund Fitzgerald, and taking the Pictured Rocks cruise out into Lake Superior.

Also? We got these two super cute, very naughty kittens: Loki and Kitsune!

August

I picked Jess up in St. Ignace (just the other side of the Mackinac Bridge in the Upper Peninsula and we were trapped there for several hours because high winds closed the bridge. Then I locked my keys in the car at a gas station after we were chased away from another gas station by a crazy looking guy who was hollering about how he didn’t have gas, and then we drove through a storm with straightline winds. You’ll have to trust me that it was a hilarious, terrifying adventure.

We hung out with Jen while Jess was here and Jess got to see Kellie, Kayleigh and meet Jessica! We laughed and wrote and got Jess a new tattoo (which is becoming an annual theme) and wrote some more. It was glorious!

September

September was a big month for our family. My daughter, Killian, started out being my son, Killian. In fact, until the previous October, when she told us she was transgender, we had no clue. However, on the day before her birthday, this year, she came out publicly, and we couldn’t be more proud of her. On her birthday, she said that it was cool with her if I wanted to publicly wish my daughter a happy birthday on Facebook. Most of my friends and all of my immediate family already knew. With the exception of a few (very few) people who’ve chosen to be shitty, the support she’s experienced – the support we’ve all experienced – has been beautiful and overwhelmingly positive beyond belief. This is honestly one of my favorite memories not just of the year, but of my entire lifetime.

Also? My family got to hang out with the very awesome Kayleigh and her equally awesome hubby at the Ren Faire and my sister and I got to meet the Goblin King. Like you do.

October

October was a big month for releases. I released my first ever MM romance and my first ever vampire book with these lovely ladies. Granted, the vampires are the big bads in this story, but it was still exciting for me.

November

I got to witness an awesome autumn storm on Lake Michigan with Rox, a dear friend of mine – in fact, we had our 21 Year Friendaversary in July. We froze our asses off, but it was worth it. And these pictures don’t do it justice.

I also got these random texts with no context whatsoever. (The first three are from my sister the last two are from Rox.) These are memories that continue to delight me.

Dana Scully is the spirit animal I wish I had but I know I don’t deserve.

My big burly neighbor is blasting T Swift as he washes his car. Lumberjack with a hose. It’s a minivan, too. He’s doing the whole 1989 album.

In my boredom, I just spent 10 minutes on straight tinder.

Clare Danes Continues to Cry, This Time with James Marsden.

Shonda Rimes will gaslight your ass.

December

December was a great month for me! My youngest brother and his wife, who’ve struggled with fertility issues for years, had their first baby!!! So, I have a new niece and she is absolutely amazing. My brother calls her Gypsy Danger – that’s her superhero name, you know. I’m utterly smitten and in love.

Also…my kids made this cookie and sang, “Meth-y, the Snowman, was a very tortured soul…” while decorating it. My sister made up more lyrics, but I was laughing too hard to remember them properly.

Oh, and Killian, evil genius that she is, played this epic prank on me.

And finally, getting to see the new Star Wars movie. Mock me if you will, but it was like being 1o years old again watching A New Hope for the first time. Ten year old me was super happy.

So, these are just a few of my favorite memories from the year. As you can see, it’s been weird fucking year. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been an awesome year, but a little on the weird side, too.

What are some of your favorite memories? And don’t forget to check out the other bloggers’ posts. I can’t wait to see what made their lists!

Flash Fiction #25 – Light in the Forest

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January 4, 2016

It’s time for another year of flash fiction!

The sun on our faces as it shone through the leaves was so warm. We laid back on the forest floor, and for once, I didn’t worry about sunscreen or homework or even curfews. I was content resting my head on Ethan’s shoulder listening to his heartbeat and the sound of the breeze riffling through the leaves. Though now that I look back on it, I don’t remember hearing any birdsong or the chatter of squirrels.

Ethan squirmed, dislodging my head as he reached beneath his back. “There’s something digging into my spine.” He pulled out an acorn. Or, more precisely, he pulled out two acorns joined together. They were tiny–more cap than nut.

With a grin, he booped me on the nose with them. “You know what this is, don’t you?”

I shook my head, smiling as he stared into my eyes.

“It’s a sign.”

“That laying on the ground is a bad idea?”

“No, smartass. It’s an important sign.” His smile faded slightly, but the warmth in his honey colored eyes didn’t as he leaned over and kissed me. When he lifted his head, he said, “You and me–we’re gonna be together forever. Just like these acorns.”

“A couple of nuts that get a happily ever after?” I asked.

“Exactly. And I’ll remind you that you called us nuts when we plant these acorns in the yard of our dream house.”

He gave me the acorns, and I tucked them into the pocket of my jeans.

“I love you, Livvy.”

He kissed me again, and I pulled him closer, but we broke apart almost immediately as a high-pitched whirring sound shattered the tranquility of the day, and a brutal, blinding light moved steadily closer. The sounds of trees cracking and snapping filled the air, as a huge vehicle lumbered toward us. Over all of the other sounds was an odd, computerized voice broadcasting what sounded like a pre-recorded message.

“Attention, all humans. You will not be harmed if you come with us, now. Enter through the rear doors in an orderly fashion.”

The vehicle loomed closer, as mounted spotlights swept through the woods.

“Attention, all humans. You will not be harmed if you–”

Bullshit,” Ethan muttered. “C’mon, Liv, we’ve gotta get out of here.”

We jumped to our feet. I grabbed my backpack, and Ethan grabbed my hand. We ran deeper into the forest, but we didn’t get far. The entire thing was on fire. A solid wall of flame cut us off and crept up on either side of us.

“What the hell?” I gasped.

Ethan pulled me to the left, but we had no choice but to return to the main path. The forest burned so quickly, it was as if all the trees were covered with accelerant. By the time we got to the spot where we’d been lying, six silver-toned, weapon–at least, they looked like weapons–toting robots waited in a semi-circle in front of a huge multi-story tank looking thing.

“Attention, all humans. You will not be harmed if you come with us, now. Enter through the rear doors in an orderly fashion.”

Neither Ethan nor I moved.

“Are those ro–”

“Silence, human.” One of the robots cut me off and stepped forward.

The rest of my question died in my mouth as it stopped in front of me. Reaching out, it grabbed my backpack and yanked it from my grasp. “You have no need of this, human.”

“Hey!” Ethan lunged for the backpack, but before he could touch it, the robot fired its weapon, engulfing Ethan in an unearthly, red glow.

“Run, Liv–”

He crumpled to the ground like a broken puppet, and my heart slammed into my throat. I dropped to my knees beside him and shook him, but there was no life in those honey colored eyes. No breath in his throat. No warmth in his skin. I’d known before I’d touched him, but I had to try.

“Attention, all humans. You will not be harmed if you come with us, now. Enter through the rear doors in an orderly fashion.”

The robot that had shot Ethan stepped closer to me, and the shiny silver of its legs blurred as tears filled my eyes. I stumbled to my feet.

“Attention, all humans. You will not be harmed if you come with us, now. Enter through the rear doors-”

“-in an orderly fashion,” I muttered.

I was tempted to let them shoot me, too. I wanted to. The thought of being without Ethan stole the breath from my lungs, but I needed to find my family. I couldn’t stand the thought of my little brothers alone and scared.

It’s been two years, and I still haven’t found them.

The Overlords, as I learned they preferred to be called, have destroyed everything that humans might have found useful or comforting. The forests are gone. Not just the one where they killed Ethan but all of them. No chance of hiding, finding shelter, hunting for food. No chance of listening to the wind in the leaves while remembering the boy who’d promised me forever.

I’ve still got the joined acorns in my pocket, though. Someday, somehow, I’ll find a place to plant them, and give the parts of me and Ethan that are still alive a place to grow and be happy.

So, clearly my unwavering fear of SKYNET figured into this one. Yeah…I don’t know, either. But let’s see what everyone else came up with for this image.

2016 GOALS

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December 30, 2015

Yes, I used this picture in my goals post last year.

No, I don’t care. Because it’s awesome. Also? Fisher Price Little People! The original ones!

*ahem*

Anyway, goals… No, wait.

First off, I want to say that I’m pretty damn pleased with how I did this year.

I didn’t miss a single blog post. (I never ever got perfect attendance in school. This is apparently my version of that.)

I wrote and published 4 books and 24 pieces of flash fiction.

I started 2 more books.

Got Round Table Author Services off the ground with Jess and Kris.

I wrote 219,011 words.

I blogged 42,171 words,

I edited 1,813,705 words.

I started eating healthier.

Okay, now my goals for this coming year. Let’s see what’s on the list.

Get a little more organized. (I did better this, year. But some things still fell through the cracks.)

Finsh the next YA novel.

Write 4 more Bound books.

Have another perfect attendance year for blogging.

Write another holiday short.

Continue to eat healthier.

Start fucking exercising. (Reminding myself that the goal is climbing Glastonbury Tor.)

Finish knitting my sweater so I can wear the damn thing.

Use my shiny new planner from Kayleigh and get better organized for 2016.

What are some of your goals? And be sure to check out the other bloggers’ goals by clicking on their names.

My kid is kind of a jerk. A hilarious, hilarious jerk.

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December 29, 2015

I feel like the story I’m about to tell you is some kind of karmic retribution for inadvertently terrifying Jenny Trout’s young daughter last Christmas. I was told by a reliable source (Jen’s cousin D-Rock) that Jen’s daughter, Wednesday, would be gone the day I wanted to fire the latest salvo in my and Jen’s ongoing Weeping Angel War. My reliable source was not at all reliable and I ended up scaring a six year old child with the weeping angel tree topper I’d arranged for Jen’s tree instead of Jen.

So, back to my kid. Killian, lovely child that she is, likes to send me random texts. Sometimes, it’s creepy birds that have been photoshopped with human arms in place of their wings. Sometimes it’s this creepy dog over and over and over.

I’m minding my own business and BAM creepy dog text message or g-chat message or email. Over and over and over this damn dog shows up.

Last week, Wednesday, I was getting ready to go see the lovely Kayleigh Jones, and I stumbled downstairs at 7am to discover that Killian was still awake and on her computer skyping with someone. I opened up the medicine cabinet and screamed because this was in there and it startled me.

Cue wild, maniacally giggling from my child. I stalked out to the living room and opened my computer to find this:

I may have called her a “little shit” which only set off more maniacal giggling. Then, I looked at my phone. Now…I have no idea whose number this is. None.

I brought the phone to Killian and demanded to know who the hell was sending me creepy dog messages at nearly 2am. This resulted in gales of unbridled laughter and tears from laughing so hard. I may have threatened to stab whoever it was in the face. The person Killian was skyping with may have heard me and may have asked to see the knife I was planning on harming him/her/them with. I may have complied.

What…? Creepy dog makes me crabby.

So Killian decides that it’s probably time to go to bed, you know…being after 8am and all. So she comes out to the living room to give me a hug, and I reach out to hug her, and I spot this on the archway between the living room and dining room.

I may have called her other, various unfortunate names. This only made her laugh harder. I’m pretty sure she giggled herself to sleep that day.

So, I finished getting ready to go see Kayleigh, and I found this on my steering wheel.

Then I reached into my purse and found this:

Later, when I got home, I found this:

I thought that was the end of it. I really did. In fact, she promised that there were no more creepy dog pictures for me to find.

She lied.

On Christmas morning, I stuck my hand in a gift bag and pulled this out.

I could not stop laughing. There were tears. So many tears. Then she told me to turn it over.

This is the kid I have, and I wouldn’t trade her for anything. She’s freaking fantastic – creepy dog and all.

EDIT: Oh, and there’s an update.

Wanna Win an Awesome Kindle Fire?

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December 28, 2015

Of course you do!

Tibby Armstrong is celebrating selling the first book in her vampire series (Inherit the Night) to PenguinRandom House/Loveswept by giving away a brand new Kindle Fire loaded with tons of ebooks – including two from yours truly.

The contest runs from December 26th – through January 22nd (Tibby’s Birthday!)

Since my blog won’t support the Rafflecopter Widget, (Damn you, WP!) you’ll need to go to Tibby’s blog and click the things! But go forth and click them! In addition to the Kindle, there are a ton of great books by awesome authors on there including Kim Dare, Jessica Jarman, Gena Showalter, Deridre Knight, Kelli Ireland, and and a ton more, plus ALL OF TIBBY’S BACKLIST, and new authors are being added all the time!

Happy Holidays!

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December 23, 2015

By the time this post goes live I will have attended four holiday parties.

It’s three days before the first party, and I am literally ready for none of them.

None.

Of.

Them.

*sigh*

Anyway, this is supposed to be a Happy Holidays post – not a Bron Whines About Not Having Her Shit Done post.

However, an honest holiday greeting from me would actually be:

MERRYCHRISTMASMUSTSEWANDKNITFASTERHAPPYNEWYEAR!

But, here’s another honest greeting:

No matter what you celebrate – even if you don’t celebrate – I wish you joy and peace. I wish you acceptance and love. I wish you understanding and kindness. I wish you compassion and abundance. I wish you laughter and comfort. I wish you a warm place to lay your head and good food in your belly. May this coming year see your goals being realized and your wishes come true. In fact, May this be your very best year, yet!

And now, I’m heading back to my to be sewn pile. This is what it currently looks like. I think as I finish projects, I’ll add them to the post.

Be sure to check out the other bloggers’ greetings, too!

Jess

Journals

Infinity scarves

Doll bed and bedding in requested colors for niece. (Husband made the bed. I did the painting and made the bedding.)

Starbaby (with dragons!) for new baby niece.

Boho Barbie’s Dream Yurt for yet another niece. Husband made the giant wooden frame and the cute little table, and I made the rugs, the pillow and the tent itself. I picked up the crystal ball on eBay.

All the nieces are very, very pleased. And the oldest niece (the one who got Boho Barbie’s Dream Yurt) announced that, “Aunt Bron won Christmas. Again.”

Check out the greetings from the other bloggers.

Gwen

Jess

Flash Fiction #24 – Full of Grace

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December 21, 2015

This month’s song fic is based on Full of Grace by Sarah McLachlan. The lyrics are here and the song is here if you want to give it a listen.

Content warning: suicide

Ellie sat in the darkened room watching the snow blow past the window. Through the swirling, gusting flakes, she caught glimpses of my neighbor’s glittering Christmas tree, the lights slowly blinking through their pre-programed cycle in the warmth of their living room. Glancing to where their–her, she supposed–tree usually stood and couldn’t muster the strength to feel anything beyond the acknowledgement that she hadn’t put it up and wasn’t likely to do so.

She’d gone so far as to get one from the tree farm down the road, but the tree was still leaning against the side of the house next to the front door where it had be for the past week. She’d thought the lights and the decorations might lift his spirits–at least a little. He’d always loved Christmas. But she’d been stupid. Naïve to even think it might have helped. Colored lights weren’t going to improve the emotional turmoil and downward spiral he’d been fighting for the last ten years. She never should have left him to get the stupid thing.

She pulled the blanket more snugly around herself and tightened her fingers around the envelope she’d found two days before. Unable to bring herself to open it, she’d been carrying it with her ever since. Reaching toward the end table, she tuned on the lamp and smoothed the crinkled paper across her thigh, staring at her name written in his careful, blocky penmanship.

She wasn’t sure why she hadn’t expected it to end this way. He’d always said that he’d never go through the kind of pain and suffering his father had–the same descent. But, he’d also promised he wouldn’t leave her. But he had. He’d slipped away as soon as her back was turned. Slipped into the vastness of death leaving her to explain to their friends–their family–their daughter who slept fitfully in the next room.

Anger she hadn’t allowed herself to feel surged through her–a hot spike of rage that burned quickly away leaving her with nothing but the envelope clutched tightly in her fist. Forcing her fingers to relax, she smoothed out the paper again and slid her fingertip beneath the flap, lifting it up.

With shaking hands and tears filling her eyes, she pulled out the folded note and opened it.

I’m sorry, Ellie. I should have loved you both much better than this. I tried, but I can’t do this anymore.

There was more, but this was all she could handle today. Maybe tomorrow she’d be able to answer her daughter’s questions. Maybe tomorrow she’d be able to answer her own.

Well…that was fucking depressing. But…you know. That’s what the song made me think of.

Kris has a story, too. Hopefully, hers is happier.