Bronwyn Green

Rome S02E08: A Necessary Fiction or The One Where The Julii are the Very Model of a Wildly Dysfunctional Family

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April 29, 2016

I can’t even with this show, you guys.

Octavian has put out the call to his flunkies to find him a wife. I think there were the usual provisos: noble family, attractive, and my personal favorite, proven fertility. The chick his boy found for him meets all these criteria. Too bad she’s all kinds of married. But, as her mother assures Octavian, her daughter is quite willing to divorce her husband to marry the leader of the Roman empire. Octavian tells Livia (his new wife) that he’ll probably beat her – not because she’s done anything wrong, but because he gets off on it. She seems fairly unfazed by that announcement.

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Octavian’s weasally friend plots with Posca to steal the gold Herod is sending to Rome. Vorenus has been put in charge of providing safety for a shipment of gold coming. He puts Pullo in charge, but Gaia’s evil plan worked. She gave Eriene the Willow tea laced with the abortifacient and Eriene went into labor and delivered her son far too early for him to have survived. And while Pullo doesn’t want to believe his wife is dying, Eriene knows she’s bleeding out and makes him promise to bury her rather than burn her body.

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Pullo is devastated and Vorenus sends his third man and crew to protect the gold. They are, predictably, robbed and only two guys are left alive. The weasally guy thinks that Posca and Antony have betrayed him, so he retaliates by telling Octavian that Antony is still banging Atia (Octavian’s mother) and Octavia is having all the sex with Octavian’s buddy, Agrippa, instead of with her husband, Antony.

Meanwhile, Vorenus is trying to track down the missing gold. He’s pretty damn sure he knows who took it. (His rival whose name starts with an “M” – the one who’s having his thug seduce Vorena the Elder. And “M” pretty much alludes to his guilt, too. But Vorenus has no proof. Until he figures out that Vorena the Elder sold him out, and he nearly chokes her to death in front of his other two children. (Not winning Father of the Year, here, Vorenus.

Octavian is piiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssseed about all the fucking around. And, after surprising them with his wife, has a family smackdown where he berates his sister, mother, and Antony. He has Octavia and Atia locked up in their home and sends Antony off to Egypt. Antony goes to Atia and swears that he’ll send for her as soon as he’s able. And Agrippa sneaks into the villa to break it off with Octavia. In the end his loyalty to Octavian is more important than his relationship with Octavia. She reveals that she’s pregnant and doesn’t know if it’s his child or Antony’s but says that they both suck.

Vorenus, ever the soldier, decides to go off to Egypt with Antony and basically hugs Pullo goodbye, leaving him in charge of the Aventine and the kids. Pullo and “M” agree to have a parley about the missing gold and whatnot, and at the last minute, Pullo attacks and bites out this dude’s fucking tongue. Then he kills him and Pullo’s men attack “M”‘s men.

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Antony arrives in Egypt, takes one look at Cleopatra and immediately forgets about sending for Atia.

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And now, the questions.

My favorite part of the episode:

I really love that Atia snuck Agrippa in for Octavia. And I think she did it to be kind. It didn’t turn out great for Octavia. And I love her parting shot at Agrippa.

Octavia: Oh, by the way, I’m having a baby.

Agrippa: Who is the father?

Octavia: Who knows? Neither man is worth a brass obol, So what matter?

My least favorite part of the episode:

OhMyGod. Eriene dying. I ugly cried. Also, Vorenus choking Vorena the Elder.

Favorite costume:

I’m going to give it to Cleopatra this week. Mostly because I’m jealous that I will never be able to wear a dress like this. Never.

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Team Atia or Team Servilia, and why:

Welp, Atia is the only one left. And TBH, I kinda feel a little bad for Atia.

Favorite watch-a-long tweet (obviously used with permission):

So many good ones this week.

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Guess Jess’s head canon:

I think she was really moved by Vorenus worrying about Pullo and of course their goodbye.

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What made Jenny super happy?

This is a tough one this week. I’m going to go with this:

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Jess’ take on A Necessary Fiction.

Jen’s take on A Necessary Fiction.

Something I’ve Always Wanted to Write But Haven’t

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April 27, 2016

Today’s topic is pretty clear from the title.

Within the last couple years, I’ve tackled a couple genres I’d always wanted to write but held myself back from for various reasons.

One genre was young adult. I wasn’t sure I could write it “authentically”. But I’m pleased with how it turned out. I just need to finish the next book in that series.

The other genre was BDSM romance. I’d shied away from it because someone told me I’d be terrible at at, and well, I believed that person for quite a long time. However, I got a severe case of the fuck its and did it anyway. Reviews and sales have been damn good, so I think I’m doing okay there.

I guess the only other thing I’ve always wanted to write but I haven’t yet are children’s picture books. I’ve always loved them. (My collection is still ridiculously huge.) And I think it would be fun – fairy tales or maybe silly stuff. I’ve had a pirate story floating around in my head for a while, now. Maybe one of these days, my son, Corwin, and I can collaborate on it together.

This is one of my favorite doodles of his.

Escapism by Corwin Riley

Be sure to check out what the other bloggers would like to write but haven’t yet.

Paige

Kellie

Rome S02E07: Death Mask or The One Where Rome Seems Like a Terrible Place to Get Married

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April 22, 2016

Things are getting even worse in Rome.

Octavian, Antony, and that other dude whose name I can never remember divide up the Roman Empire between them. And Antony accepts a giant gift (read: bribe) from Herod.

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Posca, Caesar’s former slave is pissed when he doesn’t get a share, so he rats out Antony to Octavian who demands they share the money equally. Oh, and speaking of Posca, Atia marries off poor traumatized Jocasta to him.

Meanwhile, Servillia is deeply grieving the death of her son Brutus. She’s nearly inconsolable. She takes up position on her knees outside Atia’s house and while her servant sprinkles her with ashes, endlessly repeats, “Atia of the Julii, I call for justice.” Seriously, she’s out there for days doing this driving Atia utterly batshit, until Antony finally tells Atia that Servillia will likely go away after Atia responds to her and gives her some attention. So Atia and Octavia open the door to see that a crowd has gathered.

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As soon as Atia acknowledges Servillia curses her to a life of abject misery for the rest of her days and then does this to seal the curse.

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As soon as Servillia is dead, her servant pulls the blade out of her and follows suit leaving the crowd gasping and seemingly blaming against Atia.

And it’s apparently wedding season in Rome, because despite the bloodshed outside her door, Atia is planning her nuptials to Antony. Only…her son and ruler has other ideas. He marries off his sister, Octavia, to Antony instead. I think it was for multiple reasons. 1.) he figures Octavia will be easier to control than Atia. 2.) to get back at his mother for choosing/siding with Antony over him. 3.) It’s a better political union as far as the people of Rome are concerned. And maaaaaybe some oedipal issues on Octavian’s part? He was watching Antony and Atia having some pretty intense sex one night…

But anyway, Atia is furious and hurt. Octavia is horrified especially since she’s in love with Agrippa.

And she’s subjected to some pretty dismal consummation sex.

And to continue the sex theme, Vorena the Elder is carrying on with that super skeezy guy who’s an employee of one of the gang leaders Vorenus oversees on the Aventide. And it’s a setup, of course. The gang leader busts in on them while they’re in bed, and says that he owes it to Vorenus to tell him what his daughter is doing. She begs him not to tell and he says he’ll consider it if she helps him out. So basically, he’s setting her up to spy on her father. Spoiler alert: she’s not very good at it.

Then there’s the whole Pullo/Eriene/Gaia thing. Eriene’s turning Pullo down for sex because her people believe that once the baby starts moving, sex is bad for the baby.

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Gaia and Eriene still hate each other and almost throw down in the marketplace and Eriene tells Pullo to beat Gaia. Pullo talks to Vorenus about it, and he agrees that Pullo should beat her.

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So, Pullo goes to beat her and she taunts him and they end up having really rough kind of rapey sex. Gaia clearly wants him and has come on to him before, but his intent seems to be more about power and punishment. At least, initially. That scene is super fucked up. The very last scene is of Gaia buying some sort of herbal abortifacient and it’s clear it’s not for her.

And now, the questions.

My favorite part of the episode:

Okay, so I’m a horrible person and despite the fuckedupness of that situation, the Gaia and Pullo scene was pretty damn hot.

My least favorite part of the episode:

So. Damn. Many. See also: the above mentioned scene. Vorena the Elder with the skeezy guy. Octavia having to marry Antony.

Favorite costume:

There were a lot of great costumes in this episode, but I really like Eriene’s blue number – particularly with the fancy hair/scarf combo.

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Team Atia or Team Servilia, and why:

Team Servilia! Way to get the last word.

Favorite watch-a-long tweet (obviously used with permission):

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Guess Jess’s head canon:

My guess is that she thinks Pullo went to Vorenus for more than marital and slave advice.

What made Jenny super happy?

The thought of tormenting me. o.O

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Jess’ take on Death Mask.

Jen’s take on Death Mask.

Nostalgic Notes: Books

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April 20, 2016

Boooooooooooooooooooooookkkkkksssssss!

There are so many books that I’m nostalgic about, and if you’ve hung around this blog for a while, I’m sure some of these will be familiar. But, if not, here are a few books that give me the book feels.

First, we have Where the Wild Things Are. I read this book so often to my siblings and to my kids and daycare kids that I have it memorized. Still. After all this time. In fact, just last year, on the way to school, my son, Corwin bet me that I couldn’t recite it – loser had to fold all the laundry. Fool. Not only can I recite this book in my sleep, I fucking loathe folding clothes. As I pulled into the school parking lot, having just finished the story, I looked at Corwin and said, “Oh, please don’t go. I’ll eat you up, I love you so.” Corwin got out of the car, looked back at me rather balefully, and responded, “And Corwin said, ‘no’.”

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These are the copies of the A.A. Milne books (Winnie the Pooh, The House at Pooh Corner, When We Were Very Young, and Now We Are Six) that my mom used to read to us when we were little. As you can see, they’ve been much loved and have had many cups of tea sat on top of them.

The Witch of Blackbird Pond often kept me company when I was in third and fourth grade. I ended up going to four different elementary schools, but the school I attended in third and fourth grade was my favorite. There was an apple orchard behind the school where we played during recess. And if I didn’t feel like playing, I’d sneak a book outside and climb one of the trees and read. I loved this book and read it several times a year and it remained one of my favorite memories of that school after we had to move. Years later, when we moved back into the area, I heard that my favorite elementary school was closing, but they were selling a bunch of stuff – including library books. I couldn’t believe my luck when I went to the sale and found the very same copy I used to read. Of course, I bought it immediately!

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, The Paper Bag Princess will always be my favorite book, and it’s another one I can recite from memory. Feminist children’s book? Absolutely. I used to read it to my sister’s preschool class, my kids and my daycare kids (and all their classes when I volunteered) and now I get to read it to my nieces and nephews. I’ve never once met a kid who didn’t love how Elizabeth outsmarted the dragon and rescued the prince finally realizing that he was a jerk who wasn’t worth her time, and she deserved so much better. One of these days, I’m gonna get me a Paper Bag Princess tattoo…

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I loved Little House in the Big Woods so hard – it was a gift from a favorite uncle – and I read and reread it to death. And like probably millions of other little girls, I used to pretend to be Laura Ingalls all the time. My mom even made me a matching sunbonnet and apron.

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These books make me wildly nostalgic for cuddly, drooly, giggly babies and toddlers. Sometimes, I wish there was a temporary rewind button for kids.

I could go on for days about books and nostalgia, but I’ll just post a few more that jumped off the bookshelf at me. Edward and the Pirates, The Ballad of the Pirate Queens, How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight, Drac and the Gremlin, Wild Robin, The Story of the Root Children, Stellaluna, The Wild Swans, and Tough Boris. These are all books that I read to my kids over and over.

Oh, and these, too!

Be sure to check out the the books on Gwen and Kellie‘s lists.

Flash Fiction #32 – Don’t You Forget About Me

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10 Comments

April 18, 2016

This months’s song fic was inspired by Simple Minds’ Don’t You Forget About Me. Here’s the video if you’re feeling like reliving the 80s with me. And here are the lyrics. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t remember seeing the creepy clown head in the video before. WTF, Simple Minds?! That’s not okay! Anyway, here’s what I came up with…

“Um…did a garage sale break in and attack you while I was gone?”

My roommate, Cassie, set the grocery bags she was carrying on the counter and wandered closer to where I’d started sorting through the boxes of crap my parents had dropped off on their way out of town.

I sighed. “This is what happens when your mother insists on saving all kinds of shit from your childhood – shit that you’d told her years ago that you didn’t want, I might add – and then your parents buy an RV.”

Cassie sat on the floor across from me and started fishing through the open box between us. “Ah. They’re downsizing, then.”

Nodding, I tossed aside a battered copy of Cinderella, and Cassie picked it up and flipped open the cover.

“This book belongs to Lizabeth Annabelle Adler,” she read. “Lizabeth Annabelle?”

I rolled my eyes. “My mother has always had a flair for the dramatic.”

Cassie looked around and snorted. “Clearly.” She reached to the side and opened another box, then squealed! “Oh my god! You had an American Girl doll? I always wanted one of these, but we could never afford it.”

“Well, you have four sisters, right?”

She nodded. “Yeah. And if one of us got something, we all got it. So American Girl dolls were definitely not happening at our house.” She smoothed her hand over the doll’s long brown hair. “Which one is this?”

“That would be Molly McIntire – 1944. I had Kit Kitteridge, too. But I have no idea what happened to her.”

“She’s darling. I love her little glasses.”

I stared at Molly, and the way Cassie held her made it seem as if Molly was looking at me. Goosebumps blanketed my arms, and I glanced away. I’d never wanted the stupid doll. She and Kit and every possible accessory between them had been a Christmas gift the year I’d really wanted a Nintendo.

I watched as Cassie sorted through all of Molly’s clothes undressing and redressing her in all her little outfits. Molly’s head kept spinning toward me, which was weird. I didn’t remember her neck being broken.

“You know…I’m just going to donate all this stuff. So, if you want the doll, you can have her.”

Cassie’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. What am I going to do with her?”

“You could sell her on eBay. She’s practically in mint condition. And with all her clothes and accessories, you could probably make a small fortune.”

I shook my head. “Nah. If you like her, I’d rather you have her.”

“Thank you!” Cassie hugged the doll to her chest. “I promise, I’ll take good care of her.”

When I went to bed that evening, I peered into Cassie’s room and saw the doll sitting on Cassie’s bed against the pillows – much like she used to sit on my bed with Kit whether I’d wanted them there or not.

Reaching my own room, I fell into bed. I was exhausted. Besides a full day of work, I’d also hauled all the boxes from my mom to Goodwill. I think the only thing I’d kept, besides the doll crap I’d given to Cassie, was the that tattered copy of Cinderella.

I set the book on my nightstand and pulled the covers up to my shoulders and closed my eyes. I had no idea how long I’d slept, but I startled awake to the sound of someone whispering my name. I opened my eyes expecting to see Cassie, but Molly sat on the pillow next to my head, her expression so far from the benign, vacant-eyed stare that I was used to seeing on her that a scream lodged in my throat.

“Where’s Kit, Liza? What did you do with her?”

“Cassie?” I called. “I don’t know how you’re doing it, but this isn’t funny.”

The doll raised its hand as if it wanted to smack me. “Don’t worry about Cassie. I took care of her.”

Was that blood on her dress? I wanted to check on my roommate, but I was frozen in place. I couldn’t move.

“Where’s Kit?” the doll demanded again.

“I-I don’t know.”

“That’s not the answer I want to hear.” Molly leaned forward until her tiny little face hovered above mine – her braids tickling my skin. “Don’t you forget about me, Liza. We’re going to be together forever. Just you and me.”

Welp, that’s it for me. Be sure to check out Paige’s story, too.

Rome S02E06: Philippi or The One Where Titus Pullo is the Most Polite Hitman Ever

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April 15, 2016

Content Warning: Rape (again)

Rome is getting rough, you guys, and I have serious concerns for (and about) these people!

Okay, so everyone is preparing for war. Brutus and Cassius and their 14 legions are headed to try to wrest Rome back from Octavian while Octavian and Antony are trying to figure out the best way to fuck over Brutus and Cassius. That way, is of course, by killing off any supporters they have in Rome. Atia volunteers a name for the list, and Octavian tells her it can’t be Servillia because he won’t kill women. But instead, Atia gives him the name of Jocasta’s father, saying he’s very wealthy and Octavian can use the money for his army. So, Octavian adds the name to his list.

Timon and his annoying brother are in the synagogue and while there instigate an all out brawl then escape the chaos giggling.

All the names of people who are on Octavian’s list get sent to Vorenus at the Aventine and he divides the names up between all of his gang leaders and tells them they can keep whatever they can carry. Or they can toss their money in the pot and help feed the poor. The gang leaders protest, obviously. But Vorenus gives an impassioned speech and points out that in order for them to survive, they need to change with the times. One of the thugs speaks for the others and they eventually agree to help feed the people. However, that same thug (sorry, no clue about his man) orders one of his skeezy underlings to woo Vorena the Elder. (Seriously, this poor kid…) Oh yeah, and Gaia is clearly trying to seduce Pullo away from Eriene. It’s not working though.

Everyone goes on a murder spree and Pullo and Vorenus incorporate their list into a family picnic in the country. Because nothing says idyllic family togetherness like one of the picnic party wandering off to fulfill his hit-list. While Pullo rides off to murder Cicero, Vorenus, the kids, his sister-in-law Lyde and Eriene frolic in a lovely pastoral scene and Lyde tries to convince Vorenus that they should find a nice man for Vorena the Elder to marry, and Vorenus insists that no decent man will have her since she was a prostitute. Yeah, dad…just keep bringing that up, why don’t you?

A spy in Antony’s camp has gotten word to Cicero about what Antony and Octavian have planned and Cicero knows his time is about up. He quickly writes a letter to Brutus and sends it off with a messenger. Meanwhile, Pullo strolls up and they have a perfectly pleasant conversation about how he needs to murder Cicero. And Cicero asks for a few moments to pull himself together while Pullo admires his peach tree and asks if he can bring some of the fruit back to his wife. Cicero is like “yeah, do what you want”. Cicero says goodbye to his slave who’s freaking out and tells him that in his will he’s freed him and asks him to take care of his people.

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When Cicero indicates that he’s ready, Pullo, his bag full of murder peaches, gently tells him that it’ll be easier if he kneels, so he does. Pullo tells Cicero’s slave that it would be better if he didn’t watch, then executes Cicero.

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Meanwhile, Cicero’s messenger nearly runs down Lucius who’s playing in the road. The messenger and Vorenus get into it and he loses his letter but he doesn’t notice and Lyde scolds Vorenus and tells him not to beat the guy in front of the children. After the messenger leaves, Pullo returns with peaches for all.

Meanwhile, Octavia and Agrippa have a painfully awkward conversation and share a first kiss. Shortly after, they end up in bed together. They don’t have long because he has to leave to go fight against Brutus. Atia is all good job getting you some of that, but don’t think it’s going anywhere, and Octavia defiantly declares her love for him. And Atia clearly wonders how she ended up with what she considers to be such stupid child.

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There’s screaming and a commotion at the door and Jocasta (remember her?) crawls inside–beaten and bloody. Octavia is horrified and asks what happened and Jocasta tells her that men came to her home and murdered all of her family and raped her. Atia watches fairly impassively, and when Octavia tells her that they’ll take care of Jocasta and looks to Atia to agree, she does. But it’s not terribly convincing.

Pullo is a sad panda about not going off to war because he feels a soldier is all he’s any good at. And his wife tells him she’s pregnant.

The armies meet in Greece – Phillippi. Brutus and Cassius are outnumbered 19 – 14 legions. Cassius wants to retreat, but Brutus isn’t having it. He wishes Cassius a happy birthday and promises him cake next year. And then, it’s time to kill people. So both armies battle and it’s awful and hoards of people die. And Cassius is mortally wounded. Brutus is absolutely gutted as his best friend dies in his arms.

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Brutus’ officers try to convince him to make a run for it. But he refuses. Knowing there’s little else left for him to do, Brutus strips off his armor and walks into the midst of the opposing army and starts attacking – visually echoing Caesar’s murder.

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And now, the questions.

My favorite part of the episode:

Despite the whole murder for hire aspect, I really did enjoy the exchange between Pullo and Cicero.

Oh, but my absolute favorite part has to be Atia’s insult during her utter amazement about what she perceives as Octavia’s stupidity. She looks at her daughter, half shakes her head and murmurs, “Soft as cheese.” (I plan to make use of this on the regular.)

My least favorite part of the episode:

Definitely poor, traumatized Jocasta. Atia totally knew what would happen to her when she suggested that they kill her father. Oh, and that skeevyass man activley flirting with Vorena the Elder – a child.

Favorite costume:

Octavia gets it this week. In fact, I like this style so much, I’m gonna make one for myself this summer. Now, it won’t look like this on me because I’m neither tall nor willowy, but I have no fucks to give about that. That dress looks super comfy and the neckline is great, so bring on the pintucks. (Even if it means I have to haul out the iron.) 2x06-Philippi-rome-23820181-900-506

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Team Atia or Team Servilia, and why:

I don’t actually remember seeing Servilia in this episode, but omg fuck Atia!

Favorite watch-a-long tweet (obviously used with permission):

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Guess Jess’s head canon:

She’s just convinced that her boys will eventually be happy together.

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What made Jenny super happy?

In this episode, I don’t feel like there was a lot she really enjoyed, unless it was the fact that her giant HD TV made things exceptionally clear.

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Jess’ take on Phillippi. (Jess is spending some quality time in the ER getting her hand stitched up, so her post will be up later.)

Jen’s take on Phillippi.

Promptly Penned: Home Movies

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3 Comments

April 13, 2016

Prompt:

You stumble upon old home videos of you and your siblings as toddlers. Nostalgia fades when you realize something isn’t quite right.
“Do we have to do this now?” Ashley whined.

Somehow, at twenty-nine, she still managed to sound just as annoying as she had at nine. I guess some people never grew out of it.

“It’s now or never,” I snapped, tugging the hair tie off my wrist and pulling my hair into a messy bun on the top of my head. Anything to get it out of my face and keep the strands from clinging to my sweat-slick skin. It figured. The only weekend we were allowed into our parents’ house to reclaim any of our belongings and it had to be the hottest, humidest one of the year. It didn’t help that my little sister’s regression into childhood behavior brought out the bitchy older sister in me.

I couldn’t figure out why the university was so insistent on only allowing us one weekend to sort through a lifetime’s worth of belongings. I mean, sure, they’d been funding our parents’ research. In fact, they’d been on a research trip when their plane went down over a year ago. And the school did own the house we’d grown up in. Living here rent free had been one of the perks of our parents working there.

Weirder still, I really didn’t get why we needed to have a chaperone from the psych department in the house with us. It wasn’t like we were going to steal our parents’ unfinished research and try to profit off it. We just wanted the normal things. Pictures. Books. A few childhood toys.

“Bridget. Ashley. Please come up here, a sec.”

“What’s going on?” I called heading for the stairs.

Ashley shot me a worried glance then followed behind. She didn’t like the tone of our brother’s voice any more than I did.

I stopped dead in front of the door to my old room. The chaperone was out cold–his wrists and ankles bound with duct tape and another silver length covering his mouth.

“Jared! What the hell?!”

My brother just looked at me. “Never mind him. There’s something you need to see.” He moved toward the small door next to my closet. The one that led to the attic and was kept locked at all times because of the colony of bats.

“You can’t open that,” I practically shrieked. It had been drilled into my head that the attic was off limits. The bats were an endangered species. As long as we left them alone, they’d leave us alone.

Holding my gaze, my brother wrenched open the door. I threw my hands up in front of my face, expecting hoard of squealing creatures to come hurling at us despite the fact that it was broad daylight.

But there were no squeals. And there were no bats. There was, however, an elaborate monitoring, and I assumed, recording system. There was a live feed into each of our childhood bedrooms as well as a live feed into each of our apartments and homes. I could tell it was live because my husband was feeding my kids lunch, and he was wearing the same Captain America t-shirt he’d had on when I left. The one I’d just bought him last night.

“What the hell is this?” I demanded, sparing a glance toward our chaperone, but he was still unconscious.

Ashley had turned a sickly shade of white. “I don’t understand.”

I pushed past her into the room. On the far wall were shelves and shelves of videotapes, arranged by year. Dread falling like icy boulders into the pit of my stomach, I pulled the first one down from the top shelf. It was labeled: Bridget, Jared, and Ashley – Christmas 1982. I would have been five.

“What the hell…we never celebrated Christmas.” Jared took the tape from my hand and looked around the room.

Closing my eyes, I tried to remember being that age. I tried to remember Ashley at three and Jared at seven. I had sort of hazy images, but nothing more. And there were no memories of Christmas or any other holiday, save the ones at friends’ houses with friends’ parents’ who always seemed to feel bad for us.

“Bridget…”

I opened my eyes at the sound of Ashley’s voice, and I froze, mesmerized by the brightly lit, tinsel-strewn Christmas tree that was playing on the TV/VCR combo Jared had found on an AV cart.

Three little dark-haired kids giggled and screeched in front of tree as they opened presents. The boy sort of looked like my foggy recollection of Jared as a child. And the smallest girl did have Ashley’s small upturned nose.

A man’s voice boomed over the camera mic, and a large, masculine hand reached into the tree. “Look, kids. It looks like Santa left something for Mommy. Bridget, how about if you bring this to Mommy.”

The camera panned to the middle child–me, I guess–who’d jumped up and grabbed the gift. “It’s little.”

“Just like you, poppet,” the man said, and a chill ran down my spine. Forget celebrating Christmas, my father had never called me poppet. But I called my kids that… My husband had asked if it was a family word, but I couldn’t remember ever hearing it before.

I watched as my past self ran excitedly ran across the room clutching the small box. “Mommy! Mommy! Look!”

The camera followed me, and for a minute, the scene went out of focus. But as the image sharpened, the woman who came into view was definitely not my mother. But past me threw her arms around the woman’s neck, and said, “Merry Christmas, Mommy. I love you.”

Click on the other bloggers’ names to read what they came up with.

Kris

Gwen

Rome S02E05: Heroes of the Republic or The One Where Vorenus Needs to Learn Some Serious Parenting Skills. But NOT from Atia.

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April 8, 2016

Okay, so Octavian’s army beat Antony’s and now Octavian heads to Cicero and demands a Triumph. Cicero is like “Nah…” so Octavian is like “Fine, then appoint me as the consul. I promise to listen to all your super worldly advice.” You can practically see him making “innocent eyes” at Cicero. Cicero is like, “Fine, but as long as you behave.” One of Cicero’s pals is all, “Seriously? This seems like a terrible idea.” But Cicero basically says, “He’s a child. What’s he gonna do?”

Here’s a pro tip, Cicero: Never ever ask that question. Because you will find out.

Meanwhile, Pullo and Vorenus are headed back to Rome with the rescued kids. And Vorena the Elder looks like she wants to make a break for it at one point, but the the littles talk her out of it. Afterall, they’re surrounded by Roman soldiers.

Pullo doesn’t want Vorenus to take the kids back to the brothel, because he actually has some fucking common sense unlike the children’s father. Instead, Vorenus says that he has to go back to the Aventide because he hasn’t received orders to the contrary. And Gabe, one of our regular #LegionVIII members said:

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Which I misread as Lawful Good alignment, but really, it’s pretty much the same damn thing when you’re stuck with that person in your party.

So Vorenus marches them inside and introduces them as his daughter who was prostituted and his wife’s bastard son. Then tells everyone that they have to treat the kids with respect, or else. Oh, and? Once he shows the kids to their room, he tells them that they’ll never never speak of the past again. Right. Ignore it, and everything’ll be fine.

Pullo’s wife Eriene is pissed because Pullo loves Vorenus more than he loves her. He tries to convince her otherwise, but neither Eriene, nor the audience buys it.

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Pullo and Vorenus broker a new peace in the Aventide to buy time for the two of them to rebuild their forces. And Gaia finally gets Vorenus to have sex with her, but he almost violently insists on paying her. Gaia is not pleased.

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Vorena the Elder and the Younger have been regularly stealing money from the brothel. Not a ton – just a handful here and there to fund their escape. They’re convinced that Vorenus is evil, and they want to be as far away from him as possible. They leave one day and stop by the place where Lyde, their aunt, has taken vows to a goddess (not sure which one) and she talks them into going back to their father’s place and biding their time and pretending like everything is awesome.

Octavia goes to pay her respects to Octavian and suggest that Atia do the same. But Atia insists that Octavian should come to him. Atia does eventually have a change of heart and goes to Octavian, but it’s only to make manipulating him easier.

Octavia and Jocasta are at an orgy getting high as fuck and Agrippa, who’s set himself up as the morality police, leaves said orgy, spots Octavia on the way out and kidnaps her to bring her home to her mother. He also admits to Atia that he’s in love with Octavia. I can only assume that Atia will use this info in some horrific way – doing what she does best and destroying lives.

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Oh yeah, and Octavian after he’s sworn in as consul, declares Brutus and Brutus’ buddy whose name I can never remember enemies of the state. Cicero warns against it saying it’ll divide the senate and that Brutus and that other dude have 20 legions at their disposal and they’ll march on Rome and destroy Octavian. In the meanwhile, Cicero quick dashes off a letter to Brutus and dude friend, calling them the Heroes of the Republic and invites them back to Rome. Servillia also writes a letter to Brutus, telling him to come home and sends his father’s ring.

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So while Octavian, Agrippa, and that super skeezy friend of theirs are woe-is-me-ing over Brutus’ army and their certain demise, Atia shows up. Next time we see her, she’s riding sidesaddle into Antony’s camp looking regal as fuck. She and Antony have sexy times and he’s marveling that Atia came all that way alone. And she’s like, “Ha. So not alone.” He goes outside and sees Octavian’s legion and he and Octavian embrace like Antony never stole his money or tried to beat him to death, and just like that, they’re allies.

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And now, the questions.

My favorite part of the episode:

I’m torn between Eriene calling Pullo out on loving Vorenus more than her and Agrippa impotently threatening Atia because of the way she speaks to Octavia.

My least favorite part of the episode:

Probably Vorenus announcing that Vorena the Elder had been prostituted and also the way she was the only one who got smeared with chicken blood when the kids were blessed or whatever the hell was going on there.

Favorite costume:

Vorena the Younger’s stealing from the brothel outfit.

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Team Atia or Team Servilia, and why:

Oh, Atia was on her game this episode – just pure manipulative Atia – doing what she does best.

Favorite watch-a-long tweet (obviously used with permission):

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Guess Jess’s head canon:

Easy enough – Pullo really does love Vorenus more than Eriene.

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What made Jenny super happy?

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Jess’ take on The Heroes of the Republic.

Jen’s take on The Heroes of the Republic.

From Another Point of View…

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April 6, 2016

So, this week’s assignment was to rewrite an old blog post from the point of view of one of my characters. And since I’m the only one blogging from the group this week, I’m writing it from several other points of view…cause I do what I want. Or something like that.

First off, it was hard to even pick a post that could be rewritten from a character’s POV. (Memo to us for next year: Let’s skip this sort of post. They’re a pain in the ass.) So, anyway, I picked The Five Biggest Writing Distractions, because holy hell, distractions abound right now. Like my kid’s senior project, purging the house, a graduation party to plan – I really hate hosting parties. I don’t mind going, but the hosting…even the idea of it makes me break out in hives, and I–

Will: Hives? Over a party? Seriously? Quit yer bitching. I’ve been in the same place in this manuscript for months. You just left me here – feeling like an utter arsehole over Ivy and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Why? Because you’re about to shove me in an MRI tube. Which I fucking hate, thank you, very much. But you knew that I was claustrophobic, didn’t you? But you go ahead and worry about that party. Oh, and don’t even think about about checking Twitter. God damn it, Bronwyn, did you just…?

Rory: Of course she did. Not only did she check Twitter, but she sent a couple tweets and pinned several recipes to Pinterest.

Me: Oh, both of you can fuck right off. I’m trying to find healthy meals I can get the fam to eat. And also find recipes for this party. And what are you even doing here anyway, Rory? Your book is done. Besides, you two don’t even know each other.

Rory: We live in your head – practically roommates. Anyway, we’re gonna notice when you leave us hanging for weeks while you’re “looking for inspiration on Tumblr”.

Me: Excuse me, but did you just use air quotes at me?

Rory: Maybe.

Will: And while we’re at it, about about we discuss your frequent checking of Facebook. Just because it dings, you don’t need to flip over to that tab to look at it.

Harper: Right?! What are you – Pavlov’s dog?

Me: Et, tu, Harper?

Harper: You left me fighting a vampire queen and I was almost under her thrall and Elliot almost died while you wandered off to check social media. Not. Cool.

Me: I wouldn’t let Elliot die. I know you love him.

Tristan: Oh, I know, let’s talk about how you left me hovering on the verge of an orgasm for days because you couldn’t be arsed to give a girl a little satisfaction. Nope. The only thing that mattered to you was your damn sewing machine.

Me: Christmas presents! I was making Christmas presents! For small children!

Tristan: Whatever.

Me: Anyone else have anything to bitch about while we’re here?

Declan: How about your stress levels?

Me: What about them, professor?

Declan: Well, when you get stressed, if you don’t stop writing altogether, you rewrite things endlessly. And while I enjoy spending as much time with Josie as I can, let’s just say that sometimes things start to…chafe.

Will: Wait. Is that what Ivy and I have to look forward to? Chafing?

Me: If you don’t stop being a jerk…perhaps. Party planning is stressful, Will. Remember that.

Josie: Let’s not forget her ADD. There are days that she makes an overtired toddler look focused.

Me: Hey, now…uncalled for.

Harper: And yet, so true.

Will: Look, just promise me that no matter how stressed and distracted you get while you’re writing that MRI scene, you won’t leave me in that tube for any longer than absolutely necessary. I’ll lose it in there.

Me: Okay. I promise. I won’t look at anything until that scene is done. Happy?

Elliot: I’ll believe it when I see it.

Me: Aaaaaaand there he is. I was wondering if you were going to show.

Tristan: Just be happy Morgan and Jamie didn’t show up. I feel like they’d have plenty to add about your writing distractions.

Me: Yeah…I vaguely remember leaving them in some unfortunate situations. On that note, I think it’s time for me to go to bed.

Flash Fiction #31 – Knight

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April 4, 2016

This flash fiction piece was inspired by my husband, my sister, DMs I’ve known, Shanna Germain, and…you know…this picture.

What am I even doing here? This was a terrible idea.

I shifted in the grungy, molded plastic chair and adjusted my messenger bag on my lap while surreptitiously glancing around the room. There were only a few empty seats in the misshapen circle. There had to be at least fifteen or sixteen people here. Way more than I would have figured.

A tall, lanky guy slid into the empty seat next to me as the older dude who was clearly the group’s leader stood up and cleared his throat.

The guy next to me leaned over and offered his hand, whispering, “Hey. I’m Colin.” He paused for a second, then added, “D&D – 5th Edition.”

I shook his hand and murmured, “Daisy. Delta Green.”

His eyebrows shot up slightly, and he grinned. “Nice. I figured you for Star Wars.”

I shrugged and released his hand. “Well, I’d be lying if I said I’m not also an 11th level smuggler.”

His grin widened into a full-fledged smile. “9th level spy.”

I fistbumped him.

The guy up front cleared his throat again. “Welcome to RPGers Anonymous. My name is Gary. We’re coming together tonight to-”

The door flew open and slammed into the wall. I jumped – but not as much as Gary.

“Are we too late to join in?” a guy carrying a flogger and dressed in a fake, cheap-looking cop uniform skidded into the room followed by what could only be described as a very, very adult Little Red Riding Hood wearing a corset and thigh-high leather boots. She was holding a basket full of handcuffs and condoms. I was guessing her costume came from the “sexy” section of one of those Halloween stores that pop up every year in the middle of dying strip malls. His, too, probably.

Gary stared at them open-mouthed.

“This is the anonymous group for role playing, right?” the woman asked.

After what seemed like an inordinately long silence, someone finally said, “Not that kind of role playing.”

The man and the woman looked at each other then looked at us. “Oh,” they both said. The guy tucked the flogger behind his back, and moved toward the doorway.

“Sorry to interrupt,” the woman added, pulling the door shut behind them.

Gary cleared his throat again, his face a little flushed and sweaty looking. “As I was saying, my name is Gary, and I’m a role playing game addict.” He gestured to the guy next to him, who, now that I was looking, seemed to resemble Gary quite a bit. “Do you want to introduce yourself?”

The man glared at Gary, then faced the group. “My name is Anastasia Rozailia Katerina Henrietta Annalisa Magdalena Asylume, and I’m an Acolyte of Kelemvor, God of the Dead.”

Gary rolled his eyes. “Your real name, Ted.”

“Fine. I’m Ted. And I think this whole thing is bullshit. I don’t have an addiction.”

“You do,” Gary insisted.

“I’m not the one who lost my job because I couldn’t be arsed to go to work because I was too busy creating a Shadowrun campaign.”

Several people got up and refilled their coffee cups as the argument continued to rage, and Colin offered me a granola bar from his backpack.

Opening it, I asked, “Is this…how it usually goes?”

Colin nodded. “Pretty much. Mostly, I show up for the entertainment.” He nodded toward Gary and Ted who were still arguing. “And to meet potential new party members. So, tell me about your Delta Green character.”

I turned toward him. “Okay, so picture Helen Mirren as a nun–wearing a 1920’s style Sisters of Mercy habit.”

“Hot.” He nodded appreciatively.

“Right?! Anyway, so my name is Sister Mary Clotilde. Code name: Mother Superior. I’m based in Brooklyn, and I’m in charge of a small group of specialized…miscreants.”

He leaned forward. “I like it. What about your skills?”

“I’m fluent in Latin. And academically fluent in Greek, Gaelic, and Aramaic. I also bootleg church wine to speakeasies – prohibition and all. Though…that’s not really a skill. But I have a hell of an informant network.”

He laughed, and I decided I liked the sound.

“What about weapons?”

“You know those fifteen-decade chaplet rosaries that nuns wear around the waist?”

“I think so.” He nodded.

“There’s a poison-tipped blade hidden in the crucifix.”

“Sweet.”

I grinned. “And the beads themselves double as a garrote.”

“Even better.” His brow furrowed for a moment. “You seem way too into this character,” he glanced back at Gary who looked like he was about to start throwing punches, “and way too sane to be coming to a 12 step program for gaming…”

Glancing around, I leaned closer. “You caught me. We lost a party member. She got transferred out of state, so I’m looking for a replacement.”

Colin reached into his bag and pulled out a dice pouch and shook it. All heads whipped in our direction like velociraptors scenting fresh meat at the siren song of clicking die. “You got the books?”

I patted my messenger bag. “And blank character sheets.”

“There’s a diner with great pie right around the corner.”

Grinning, I nodded. “Let’s go.”

He grabbed my hand and his backpack, and I followed him out the door.

Kris wrote a story for this picture, too. Be sure to check it out by clicking her name.