Bronwyn Green

The Corner of Quirky & Kinky

I am soooooooo tired. I’ve been staying up way, way too late for the last couple of weeks. But, I’m gonna knock out this post, and then crawl into bed.

So, last month, I said I was going to:

  • Finish all scheduled audio preps. (YEP)
  • Finish all scheduled edits. (YEP)
  • Work on the new Bound book. (YEP)
  • Make more Christmas presents. (YEP)
  • Put together writers group presentation for November. (YEP)

Yay me. This month is going to be more of the same.

  • Finish all scheduled audio preps. 
  • Finish all scheduled edits.
  • Work on the new Bound book.
  • Make more Christmas presents.
  • Put together a raffle basket for the writer’s group
  • Work on the next collection of re-releases and get them ready to go for the new year
  • Finish my holiday shopping
  • Mail a mountain of packages, boxes, and bags
  • Make Christmas cookies with the fam

We have quite a few family holiday traditions, so here they are- in no particular order. Like usual.

10.) Every year, for one or more family gatherings, I get tapped to make the fancy green bean casserole.

9.) We try to put up our tree the weekend after Thanksgiving. Though, this year, it didn’t happen until last night. But, at least it’s up.

8.) We tie our Christmas tree to a hook in the ceiling with high tensile strength fishing line because…

7.)…the cats climb the damn tree.

6.) I also usually get tapped to make Welsh cakes. And then everyone argues discusses whether or not they taste like my grandma’s.

5.) Everyone in my family, immediate and extended, has a one of a kind, cross stitched stocking designed by me. So far, I’ve made 22 of them.

4.) My favorite holiday decoration is the last thing that my grandma knitted for me before she died. It’s this Christmas castle. It’s whimsical and fun and reminds me of her.

3.) It’s not unusual to get or give gifts in my family that aren’t quite finished. I can tell you how many times my grandma or my mom have given us fabric pieces that were cut out but not sewn, partially knitted items still on the needles, or sometimes, skeins of yarn and a pattern booklet. My mom used to write a note to us from Mrs. Claus who was usually overwhelmed or overworked and needed our mom’s help to finish the gifts. We totally bought it.

2.) I am literally Leslie Knope about Christmas. I’m probably the least competitive person you’ll ever meet. Unless…it’s a gift giving occasion. If it’s time to give a gift, I work really hard to either find, or make, the best gift for whomever I’m giving it to. I’m honestly kind of obsessive about it. My niece, Lex, often says that I “win Christmas” or I “win birthdays”. It’s a sickness. But, I also really, really love finding or making the perfect gift for someone.

1.) My mom started this one, but all of us kids and our spouses have cheerfully carried on the quirky tradition of how we address gifts. For instance, there are never presents from my mom or Santa. We address the gifts in such a way that gives a hint about what’s inside. Like, one of my brothers got a microscope kit from Marie Curie one year. Back in the 80s, I got leg warmers from Rudolph Nureyev. My kids have gotten stuff from Blackbeard, Long John Silver, and Grace O’Malley. (There was a really loooooong pirate period in our house.) I’ve gotten gifts from Nimue and Merlin and even Alexander Hamilton. It’s so much fun, and it gets squirrelier every year. It’s probably my favorite of all our traditions.

What are some of your family’s traditions? I’d love to hear about them!

I think it’s just me this week, though Jess said she might post hers later. If she does, I’ll update with a link. 

I’m not gonna lie this last year has…not been great. On a lot of fronts.

But, that doesn’t mean I’m not thankful. I mean, some days, I get down, and I fucking hate everything, but overall, I’m really lucky, and I try to be cognizant of that as often as possible.

But, here’s a short list of things I’m thankful for.

  • We have a roof over our heads, and the skills (or at least the ability to learn the skills) to fix most of the stuff that gets funky in a nearly 100 year old home.
  • We have the food and medicine we need.
  • We live in one of the most beautiful states that exists.
  • We have four purrful cats. And TBH, I’m thankful for cats in general. Because cats.
  • I have utterly fantastic readers, and I’m thankful for every single one of them.
  • I have wonderful clients and steady work.
  • We have an amazing, loving, and hilarious family–immediate and extended.
  • I have the best, most supportive, brilliant, hilarious, compassionate, and loving group of friends on the planet (both local and the ones who live in my computer), and I literally would not still be functioning without them.
  • I have an amazing husband who truly gets me and makes me laugh every day. Even when things are dire.
  • Aidan Turner is a thing that exists in this world. (What? Like you didn’t know that was coming. Pffft.)

This is just a short list of things I’m thankful for–there are so many more. I hope that your list is even longer.

Be sure to check out the other bloggers’ lists, too.

Siobhan

This story was inspired by Adele’s “River Lea”. Here’s the song if you’d like to take a listen, and here are the lyrics if you want to give those a go.

 

It was nearly dark when she arrived. Sinking to the riverbank, she wrapped her arms around her drawn-up legs and rested her head on her knees, and stared sightlessly out at the water as tears slipped down her cheeks. Quietly, she whispered her secrets, unburdening herself of pain she carried, giving it to the swirling water near her feet.

I want to to hush her–in fact, I try. But my voice is swallowed by the burbling river and the hiss of the breeze through the branches. She doesn’t hear me. Instead, she moves closer, and I cringe as her tears fall, further dampening the ground. Soon, she’d be theirs.

She’s younger than I was when I first started coming to the river. But age has never mattered to them. They cared only for pain, and they would feed on hers, as thoroughly as they’d fed on mine.

I tried again to reach her. To make her hear me. See me. See what she’ll become if she stays. But it’s clear that she only recognizes the reeds that were once my fingertips.

The river is in my roots and in my veins. In my despair, I let it envelop me, let it devour my pain, never realizing the water and the things that live there were never offering comfort.  I’m not sure how long it’s been since I’ve been human. But I do know that she hasn’t got much longer.

That’s it for me this week. Be sure to check out Kris‘ story, too. 

 

The prompt will appear in bold in the text. 

“As my assistant, I’ll expect to be able to delegate a variety of tasks to you.”

I nodded, keeping up with Susan’s brisk pace. “Of course, ma’am. Anything you need.”

She arched an eyebrow at me. “First off, don’t ma’am me. I hate that.”

“Yes, m–sorry.”

“Second…” She froze for the briefest of moments then turned sharply to the right, opening a door and tugging me in behind her before closing it again.

“Wha–”

“Shh,” she hissed.

“Susan?” a man called from the hallway. “Are you in there?” The door handle rattled and began to turn.

“Fuck my life,” she muttered mostly under her breath. At least, I thought that’s what she said.

The door pushed inward, and a man stuck his head into the room. “Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Susan turned toward a shelf full of dusty looking folders. “You’ll have to make an appointment just like everyone else, Chad.”

He entered the room, completely blocking the doorway. “This will just take a minute.”

“Make an appointment,” she said again without looking at him.

“It’s happening again. Every time the janitorial crew cleans my desk gets farther away from the break room. This time, it’s three eighths of an inch.”

“You measured?” I blurted.

He glared at me before looking back at Susan. “And my medium sized binder clips have all been replaced with small.”

She didn’t say anything, but her disbelief was clear on her face.

And,” he continued, “my black ink pens have all been replaced with blue. I hate blue ink.”

“I know you do. We’ve been through this before. But as I’ve said, I can’t think of a single reason the cleaning crew would target you.

“I want motion sensor cameras set up.”

“Not in the budget, Chad.” She looked over her glasses at him. “And isn’t it possible that someone found a blue pen on the floor and just put it in your jar?”

“Something needs to be done about this. I’m not going to keep putting up with people messing with my stuff.”

“Make an–”

“I’m trying to have a conversation with you!” 

She turned and shoved a stack of folders into my arms. “And I’m trying to subtly avoid it! If you want to discuss this–again–make an appointment.”

Chad stomped away slamming the door on his way out.

“As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted,” Susan said, tossing a box of red pens on top of the folders I was already holding. “I’ll need you to perform a variety of tasks.” With a smile, she added a box of extra-small binder clips to the stack.

Be sure to check out the other bloggers’ stories.

Jess  *  Siobhan

Chilled mist pressed in on all sides, dampening her clothes and clinging to her skin and sending shivers skating down her spine as the cold and clamminess enveloped her. The last of the autumn leaves fluttered to the ground, falling nearly as quietly as the whispers around her–the whispers that seethed through the air as she drew closer to her goal.

Her destination rose in the distance. Fog obscured the majority of the building, and the windows reminded her of angry unblinking eyes. Eyes that were currently boring holes into her soul. But she refused to be intimidated. She refused to turn back. She’d come too goddamn far, and silence was no longer an option.

The seething became roiling and the whispers turned to shouts, but she pressed on. She had too much at stake–too much to lose–to turn back now. The polls closed at eight, and she’d make damn sure she was heard.

That’s it for me today, be sure to check out the other bloggers’ stories. 

Jess  *  Siobhan  *  Gwen

I adore fairy tales. I’ve got a ginormous collection, but these are some of my faves–in no discernible order–just like always.

The Wild Swans

East of the Sun and West of the Moon. 

Rapunzel

The Story of the Root Children

Beauty and the Beast

Tatterhood and the Hobgobblins 

Snow White

Saint George and the Dragon

Sleeping Beauty

Tam Lin

As you can see from this picture, there are lots of different takes on the Tam Lin tale. These are some of my very favorite ones. Wild Robin, Catkin, Noble-Hearted Kate, and Eventide.

And I also adore The Twelve Dancing Princesses, but I don’t have my own copy, yet. But…soon, I hope.

What are some of your favorite fairy tales? Be sure to check out Jess’ favorites, too!

So, I think I’ve mentioned that I’ve got my rights back to some older stories, and I’ll be re-releasing them over the course of the next year or so. I’ve already released The Charmed Collection, but I wanted to get one more collection out before the end of the year, so I was searching for potential cover art models.

I was also doing it while I was on the phone with Jess who has the same thing going on with re-releases.

This is just a sampling of why you should probably be glad you’re not Jess.

 

“Why are you swinging a bottle, sir? That’s dangerous.” 

“God, quit smiling already, and get off the blonde.”

Don’t put your penis on the sauna bench!”

“I don’t want to watch you put on deodorant.”

“What is is even going on here?”

“You’re super hot, but I think I already have you on a book cover.”

“Why do guys keep holding magnifying glasses in front of their mouths? Why is this a thing?”

“Why are you hiding in a closet??? Is this a metaphor???”

“Why do you have a sportsball in the house?”

“Why do you look like Ryan Seacrest? Stop that. No one should look like that—not even Ryan Seacrest.”

“You, sir, not only look like a creeper, you look like a surprised creeper.”

“I did not ask for gingers. Or chicks.”

“That guy literally looks like the letter V.”

“I did not ask for this. At all.”

“Check this dude. I feel like he’s tying to sparkle like Edward Cullen.”

“No! You don’t wear heels in the forest, lady!”

“I call this one ‘Pensive Hipster’.”

So, last month, I said I wanted to:

  • Finish all scheduled audio preps. (YEP)
  • Finish all scheduled edits. (YEP)
  • Work on the new Bound book. (YEP)
  • Do more research for the Jen project. (YEP)
  • Start knocking out Christmas presents. Tis the season to start crafting! (YEP)

I also wrote and submitted an unscheduled essay for Blunder Woman Productions.

This month, I plan to:

  • Finish all scheduled audio preps. 
  • Finish all scheduled edits.
  • Work on the new Bound book.
  • Make more Christmas presents.
  • Put together writers group presentation for November.

Be sure to check out Jess’ post, too.