Bronwyn Green

The Corner of Quirky & Kinky


Okay my loves, this post is going to be considerably shorter than usual, because I’m the Plague Maiden. And mostly all I can do is cough and sleep.
Okay, so Arthur goes on what’s basically a vision quest so he can figure out what quest he has to fulfill in order to be worthy of succeeding Uther. After spending the night on his knees he knows that he has to travel through the Perilous Lands to the kingdom of the Fisher King and retrieve his trident all by his lonesome as proof that he’s awesome and king-worthy. 
So Gaius tells Merlin that it’s super dangerous for Arthur to do this. That no one has emerged from the Perilous Lands alive. Merlin decides that even though Arthur is supposed to perform the quest alone, he’s going to follow him. 
 Meanwhile, Morgana meets up with Morgause who’s disguised as an old woman in the town market.  They’ve devised a new plot to kill Arthur.  Morgause gives Morgana a bracelet and tells her to enchant it with the spell she taught her. Gwen, who was at the market with Morgana, is way suspicious. 
That night, Morgana casts her spell on the bracelet and gives it to Arthur in the morning. He blithely rides to the border of Perilous Lands. In order to enter them, he has to cross a bridge and the bridge keeper is WILLOW!!! Anyway, Willow, who’s called something else in this episode, tells him that he’s courage, but he’ll need strength and magic in order to fulfill his quest. Arthur, rather disdainfully, tells him that he doesn’t condone the use of magic. And Willow tells him to suck it up, the rules are different here. 
So Arthur crosses the rickety bridge and enters a barren wasteland. The magically enchanted bracelet of doom is sapping his strength and he nearly drowns in quicksand just like Artax in The Sad Horse Movie aka The Neverending Story. But Arthur makes it out and continues his struggles. 
Here…Have some sad horse pictures from the movie that ruined your childhood. I’ll wait…while you weep.
Merlin hits up every tavern until he finds what he’s looking for. Which is Gwaine. They escape a beating to some jaunty background music. It seems Gwaine cheated some dudes and they wanted their money. Gwaine agrees to help, but he makes it clear that he’s helping Merlin rather than Arthur. 
Back at Camelot, Morgana’s behavior toward Gwen has been questionable. So Gwen hides in her room and observes her practicing magic. When Gwen’s able, she goes to Gaius and tells him what she’s seen. 
Merlin and Gwaine reach to the bridge and meet Willow. He says that magic and strength have arrived. Merlin tries to deny it, but Willow is all, this is your quest not Arthur’s (which is frankly kind of not cool) and lets them pass after turning Gwaine’s sword into to some cheap looking Easter lilies. (It changes back after he crosses the bridge.)
They cross the wasteland and see a castle tower in the distance with wyverns circling it and Arthur making his way to the gate while the wyverns are clearly hunting him. He makes it inside and drops the portcullis. But the wyverns are crafty and get in anyway. 
Arthur is growing weaker and is unable to fight off the beasts. He passes out,  but Merlin makes it in there just in time and sends a couple wyverns away with his Dragon Lord voice (and Jess’ panties fell off) then takes the enchanted bracelet off Arthur and he wakes up. 
Arthur is all pissed because he’s supposed to be doing this alone. Then Gwaine busts in and stabs the one wyvern that was approaching and Arthur is prissier because Gwaine is there too. They all set off to find the trident of the Fisher King and Merlin (thanks to stepping on a trap) gets separated from them and locked in the throne room. 
As it turns out, the Fisher King was a live and had been for centuries. It seems he was waiting for Merlin so he could give Merlin some water from the Lake of Avalon. But doesn’t tell him how to use it, just says something cryptic about it. Then tells Merlin he owes him a gift. And of course, that gift is death. He puts the cursed bracelet on the king, and the man blows away into magical dust and Arthur and Gwaine are finally able to enter the room.
Arthur finds the trident and they all ride for Camelot. Gwaine leaves them at the border and Arthur swears Merlin to secrecy about his having been with him. Morgana sees Arthur return and drops her goblet in shock that he’s still alive. Morgana’s shock is witnessed by Gwen. And Merlin tells Gaius about the Avalon water.
Fin.

Okay…now for the questions. 
1. If I’d written this episode…I would have maybe, oh, I don’t know, had Arthur notice the glowing bracelet of doom.
2. The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. Loved seeing Willow. Or you know, whatever his name was in here. Hated the really obvious diversion from Arthur’s normal character. Okay, Arthur can be a total dick. No question. But in the end, he always pulls through and does the right thing. Even if it’s uncomfortable for him and causes other problems. He does this stuff because it’s the right thing to do. But at the end of this, he’s totally down with lying about having completed his quest alone and unaided. And from the dialogue between him and Merlin, it’s not because he’s trying to protect Merlin or Gwaine. He’s not owning up so he can be done with his quest and move on. This is very unlike that Arthur we’ve come to know over the last two and a half seasons. 
3. Something you’ve never noticed about this episode before. How it seems like Merlin should have known what wyverns were since they’re all dragon related and he’s a Dragon Lord. Now, Jess did point out that the previous Dragon Lord died before imparting a whole lot of info to Merlin, but so much of his DL skills were instinctive, it seems that this should have been, too.
4. Favorite Costume. Okay, I know Gwaine’s not really a costume, per say…

Here is Proof of some random head canon I’ve created. I didn’t create it, but it’s clear to me that Merlin and Gwaine could be getting it on. 
What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? I think it was when Merlin was waking Arthur up after stealing the bracelet of doom.
What made Jen lose her shit (in a good or bad way) in a bad way? I’m gonna go with Merlin not knowing what wyverns were. 
Jess’ take on the episode is here, and Jen’s is here.


This week, we’re blogging about stuff that makes us happy. I have a feeling this is going to be a super random list because a lot of things make me happy.  In no particular order at all, here they are…
Hugs from my kids.They never fail to make me happy. Even if I’m in a bad mood. 
Actually, hugs in general. I’m a touchy feely person and physical contact (with people I’m comfortable with) makes me happy. 
Waves on the shore.I love the sound of waves. I prefer the waves of Lake Superior, but I’ll be honest. Any waves will do. 
Thunderstorms. As long as they don’t venture into tornado territory, they give me warm fuzzies. 
My family. I seriously won the family lottery. I am crazy about my family. Yes, sometimes we piss each other off, but we’re always there for each other. Even when we’re pissed. They’re all hilariously funny, smart and compassionate. My mama mommed us well. 
Rocks. Yeah, I know. That sounds dumb. But whatevs. Rocks make me happy. I love to hold them, look at them, climb them, know that they were here millions of years before me and will be here millions of years after I’m gone. 
Yarn, fabric and clay.There is nothing that appeals to me like the tactile experience of fiber and well, mud, and knowing that if I want to, I can make something out of it. 
Kindness. Not just people being kind to me or people I care about, but people being kind in general. Genuine kindness, though – not the fake bullshit of people being kind because they think they’re going to get something out of it. This world is so full of anger and hate, and some days, it feels like there’s not enough kindness to go around. But then I see little acts of kindness here and there and I feel like there’s hope. And it makes me happy.
Music. Music that I love makes me happy. In fact, music is so powerful, that I have a depression playlist that I listen to when I’m starting to feel down. 
Friends. I have the most amazing friends on the planet. I can’t even believe how damn lucky I am, and they make me happy beyond belief. They get me in all my quirky glory, and I know that I can trust them with anything. I know that no matter what, these are the people that will always be there for me, and I’ll always be there for them. 
Cats. I know. I have issues. But cats make me irrationally happy. Unless I’m steeping in cat puke at three am.
Baby animals of all kinds. I’m s sucker for the squee factor. 
Baby belly laughs.There’s something about a baby laughing that just lifts my spirits no matter what. 
Nature. I love Living in a place that has all four seasons (even though the snow sometimes makes me want to weep) and the changes are so dramatic and beautiful. Walking through forests, sitting by a lake or river or stream, listening to the wind and rain, watching the snow fall and the leaves change, all of it makes me happy. That is a lie. Ragweed and cottonwood most assuredly do *not* make me happy. But I’m good with everything else. 
Writing. I love creating and having an outlet for all the stories floating around my head. Getting them out on paper makes me happy. 
Reading.Exploring other worlds and lives makes me happy, too. And sometimes sad, depending on the book, but that’s okay. I’m happy when I’m invested enough in an author’s words to feel something.
Writing Retreats. I love spending a week with my writing retreat girls – there’s nothing better than laughing ’til you hurt and writing a ton. 
 
Lake Superior. I know I already mentioned waves and nature, but Lake Superior makes me insanely happy. 

Click the other Wednesday Random Bloggers names to find out what makes them happy. 


This episode opens with Gwen dousing the candles in Morgana’s room and leaving for the night, and as she does, we see Morgana smirk – the first in what proves a smirk-heavy episode. Gwen returns to her own home outside the castle where she’s knocked unconscious with some kind of herbal ether and brought to Morgause and Cenred at Castle Fyrien. Once there, she discovers that they’ve also captured her mostly ne’er do well brother, Elyan.

Morgana worries aloud that Gwen didn’t show up for work that day and Uther tells her not to worry, that he’ll get her a new servant. Arthur and Merlin immediately freak out and begin looking for her. Merlin finds the cloth used to drug Gwen and brings it back to Arthur who smells it and immediately passes out.

Cenred tells Gwen, while Morgause watches from the shadows, that unless Gwen brings Arthur back to the castle, using any means necessary, Cenred will kill Elyan. Gwen is returned to Camelot and shows up to work the next day and lies, telling Merlin she was home sick. Merlin calls her out on her lies and she breaks down and cries. They go see Arthur and Arthur decides that they’ll mount a rescue even though it’s clearly a trap.

Arthur lies to Uther and says he’ll be away for a few days because he got involved in a wager and now has to pay the price. Uther is furious because he doesn’t like gambling, but when Arthur explains that Morgana got him into it, Uther chuckles and all is forgiven because Morgana can do no fucking wrong.
Merlin, Arthur and Gwen prepare to ride out and Merlin discovers, to his great dismay, that Morgana is coming on this journey, too. Things between them are prickly at best. When they make camp, Arthur tells them all his plan of sneaking into Fyrien through the underground tunnels where a former king hid his wealth from Uther.

That evening, Morgana sneaks away and meets with Morgause in the woods and tells her sister of Arthur’s plan. Morgause doesn’t know where the entrance of the tunnels are and gives Morgana an enchanted, amber ring that will lead Cenred’s men right to them.
Merlin knows shit is up, but he can’t prove it or call her on it. Instead, when he spots a snake alongside the path, he uses magic to make it frighten the horse, throwing Morgana to the ground where she sprains her ankle. Merlin tries to convince Arthur to leave Morgana behind, but Arthur is having none of it.
They finally reach the tunnels and Morgana enters last, activating her magical GPS ring so Cenred’s men can find them and they crawl through the tunnels they use on every other shoot requiring a tunnel  and are attacked. They’re brought before Cenred and Morgause, taunted and thrown in cells, Gwen with Elyan and Arthur with Merlin.

Morgana avoids the cell treatment and chats with Cenred and Morgause. Arthur and Merlin escape and free Gwen and Elyan. Arthur refuses to leave without Morgana and sends Gwen, Elyan and Merlin to ride for Camelot.
Merlin disobeys, of course, and sneaks off behind Arthur. There’s a big old show down in Cenred’s throne room and Morgana attacks Arthur with a magical fire tornado thingy. Merlin, discreetly from the doorway, magically sends it back at Morgause where it explodes, knocking down part of the ceiling and rendering Morgause and Cenred unconscious and Morgana dazed.

Arthur grabs Morgana and drags her out to the caves. Morgana whines about her ankle and purposely tries to slow them down, but Arthur picks her up, tosses her over his shoulder and carries her ass out. Once outside, they’re set upon by some bad guys and Elyan has a chance to impress the hell out of Arthur with his super awesome sword skills.
Once back in Camelot, we find out that Elyan is settling in nicely to his father’s smithy and is now the town’s blacksmith, and Gwen and Arthur have a conversation about always being there and helping the ones you love. Pointed glances are exchanged.
Fin.
At least, this is my recollection of it. I wanted to skim through this episode because I feel like I’m missing things, but Netflix is being a hateful bitch.
Okay…now for the questions. 
1. If I’d written this episode…I would have less obvious evil smirking. That is getting to be problematic and annoying. I also would have explored Morgause and Cenred’s relationship a little more. Mostly because I’m curious.
2. The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. Loved Gwen wanting to protect Arthur by not telling him what was going on.  Hated how Morgause’s dress. I would have insisted on a new dress for her. Yes, I know it’s shallow. I know I bitch about it all the time. But that dress is an eyesore and distracting. Really hated the glaringly obvious differences in the way Uther treats Arthur and Morgana.
3. Something you’ve never noticed about this episode before. Arthur and Merlin knocked out the guards in their cell when they escaped and left the damn door open.
4. Favorite Costume. This week Morgana’s traveling armor wins, hands down. 

Here is Proof of some random head canon I’ve created. Nothing really this week.

What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? I think it was when Merlin waking up Arthur with lovely banter.

What made Jen lose her shit (in a good or bad way) in a bad way? The disparate way Uther treats Arthur and Morgana about the whole gambling ruse.
Jess’ take on the episode is here, and Jen’s is here.

For Wednesday Randomness, we’re talking about our search histories.

So…yeah.  This should be interesting. These are the things I’ve searched for recently.

1. Can animals take Tramadol – Sometimes you need to know this stuff for research, people.

2. Tim Minchin – Let’s be honest…my love for this man knows no bounds.

3.YA blog tours – This is going to be a thing for me in the relatively nearish future.

4.How do you get rid of milia – I hate those little bastards. HATE THEM. Also, the answer is there really is no real way to get rid of them.

5 Arbor Society Grand Rapids – My Rowan tree died. 🙁

6. BBC Merlin – Do you think those pictures for the Friday blog posts look themselves up?

7. Who to call for the Saturn ignition recall – Fucking car…

8. Field Sobriety Test – Research. Accuracy is important.

9. Advair Diskus coupons – even with insurance that shit is 210$ a month.

10. How long does it take a rice cooker to cook brown rice? – Yes…I did lose my instruction booklet. Why do you ask?

11. Glass gem heirloom corn seeds for sale – for my attempt at a garden!

12. How often should you water seeds planted in organic seed starter mix? – Also gardeny stuff.

13. Apple Macbook – Hey…a girl can dream…

14. Jesus Christ Superstar National Tour Cast – This seems pretty self-explanatory. Also, the dude from the Sex Pistols is playing Herod!

15. Burning Man live feed – I was curious…

16. Sam Claflin – He’s pretty. I can’t help it.

17. How long does it take for a body to decompose in cold water? – Asking for a friend.

18. Rip Currents in Lake Michigan – helllooooooo research

19. How many students are enrolled at U of M? – more actual research

20. How do you spell the name of Thor’s hammer?  – In case you’re wondering, it’s Mjölnir.

21. Parts of a sailboat – also research.

22. Nutrition information for So Delicious French Vanilla Coconut Creamer – trying to find a creamer substitute. *sigh*

23. Catchall – one word or two?

24. Do nsaids cause weight gain? Answer: taken in excess, they can.

25. Ichiban menu – that’s where we took Killian for his birthday supper.

26. Jamieson Shetland Heather Aran – Look, I like yarn. A lot.

27. Promotion code for Knitpicks – Look, I might have mentioned I like yarn a lot. I also like to get it as cheaply as possible.

28. Camelot Dyeworks – Okay, it’s more yarn. I admit it. I have a sickness, people.

29. Death Star pillow pattern – What? Christmas is coming…

30. Creature that feeds off of innocence – Research. Just research.

So, what kind of gems are hiding in your search history? Wanna see what the other WR bloggers have been searching? Click their names below!

Jess 
Jenny
Gwen


So, this episode starts out with a baby in a fantastic wooden cradle (that I covet but can’t find a damn picture of) near an open window. A little blue fairy dude(one of the sidhe) flies through the window and casts a spell on the sleeping baby. 
Several years later, we see an adorably awkward, unkempt, rather derpy princess clomping down some castle steps barefoot and bemoaning her fate to her father, the king, about having to wear shoes and ride in a carriage to Camelot instead of on horseback as she’d prefer. 
I like her already. 
Meanwhile, back in Camelot, Uther is almost giddily explaining to Arthur that his BFF, King Godwin, is bringing his daughter, Princess Elena to Camelot for Arthur to meet and marry.  Uther seems incredibly enamored with Godwin. Enough so, I’m pretty sure he was hoping for another love match besides Arthur and Elena. And poor Elena falls flat on her face when she steps forward to meet Arthur. 
Later Arthur is talking to Gwen and confesses that his father hopes to see him and Elena wed. It doesn’t go over well. Later that evening, Merlin is picking up Arthur’s room and teasing him when Uther shows up to browbeat Arthur some more about marrying Elena, becoming King and keeping Camelot safe. 
In Elena’s chambers, she’s having a nightmare. Her nurse Grunhilda comforts her and sprinkles some glitter on her face because glitter fixes everything. And while Elena continues to sleep, we see the face of a sidhe emerge beneath her skin. Then she calms and continues sleeping. 
Grunhilda sneaks out of Camelot and goes to a nearby pond where the sidhe live and reveals her true form. She’s got a giant nose, huge pointy ears and her face is covered with huge black warts. Turns out she’s a minion of the sidhe and their plan is to get the sidhe changling (Elena) on the throne of Camelot. 
The next day, Arthur and Elena go riding with Merlin following behind with a picnic lunch. They get along, but there’s no spark and it ends with a super awkward hug  on Elena’s part once they’re back at Camelot.
That evening, there’s a feast. Elena is uncouth and Morgana is a little judgey. Meanwhile, Grunhilda clearly has the hots for Gaius and sits next to him and lets him know that she’s available and willing if he’s interested. He is not. 
That evening, when Grunhilda is helping Elena get ready for bed, Elena tells her nurse that she doesn’t feel like she’s the perfect princess and expresses doubts about the marriage. But Grunhilda soothes her and tells her not to worry. And to cheer her up, she pulls out a silver box. Inside is a live frog. And it does cheer up Elena because she eats it. 
The next day, Merlin is out in the forest gathering herbs, and he sees Grunhilda and follows her. Because he’s a creeper like that.  He sees her super long purple tongue flick out and slurp up flies. He tells Gaius about it who goes to search Elena’s chamber. He finds the bag of glitter and is surprised by the return of Grunhilda. She thinks he’s there for sexy times, but he not so deftly avoids it. However, he has figured out that Grunhilda is a pixie (from the glitter) and he knows that pixies are servants of the sidhe. 
At supper that evening, Arthur, Uther and Morgana are eating and Gwen is serving them. There is a LOT of fruit. And cheese. And Uther is once again, wearing his leather gloves to eat. Arthur tells Uther that he doesn’t want to marry Elena because he doesn’t love her. Gwen and Arthur make some eye contact and Morgana notices it and, predictably, smirks. 
Elena has another nightmare and creeper Merlin peeks in her window and sees Grunhilda using the magic glitter on her and he sees the sidhe trapped within her. He also makes a bunch of noise and knocks shit over in the hall and Grunhilda sees him running away. He tells Gaius and they start studying sidhe magic to come up with a plan to get the fairy out of Elena.
The next morning, Morgana spots Arthur out the window and tells Gwen how bad she feels that Arthur will be forced into a marriage he doesn’t want. Morgana also “guesses” at the relationship between Arthur and Gwen and purposely digs the metaphorical knife in a little deeper. For no other reason than to be mean. And there’s also a smirk when Gwen hastily leaves the room. 
Gwen goes to Arthur’s room and they have a gut-wrenching conversation about why their love can’t be. And Arthur looks so fucking sad and heartbroken that it hurts to watch. Shortly after that, Arthur proposes to Elena in front of everyone – including Gwen. 
Merlin returns with a difficult to find flower that only grows in the middle of bogs and Gaius uses it to brew up a cure for the sidhe that’s living in Elena. Before they can use it, Grunhilde goes to the sidhe lord and tells him that Merlin knows what’s up. The sidle lord comes to Camelot to attack and kill Merlin, but Merlin still has a sidhe staff from the last time he fought one of them, and there’s a big old magical fight in which a bunch of Gaius’ stuff is destroyed including the cure for Elena. 
The morning of the wedding is here and Elena is having second thoughts. She’s not in love with Arthur and she knows that Arthur isn’t in love with her. Grunhilda insists that respect is more important than love. 
Gaius brews up another batch of the potion and lures Grunhilda to the basement of the castle for sexy times, and then Merlin locks her in. Gaius and Merlin run back to Elena to get her to drink the potion, but Grunhilda escapes and has a magical battle with Merlin in the hallway. He uses the sidhe staff and kills her. Then he runs in the room, plugs Elena’s nose and pours the potion down her throat. She passes out, the sidhe is expelled and Merlin kills that one, too. 
Elena wakes up, feels great – better than she has in years. Merlin goes to Arthur and brings him his ceremonial sword for the wedding. Arthur is clearly upset and Merlin asks what’s wrong and Arthur responds that he wouldn’t understand what it’s like to have a destiny. But Merlin does and clearly illustrates it. Arthur is somewhat comforted and then asks Merlin what he should do. Merlin says that marrying for any reason other than love is wrong and that an unhappy king isn’t what Camelot needs. 
The guards come to escort Arthur to the wedding. And King Godwin escorts Elena. Geoffrey starts the ceremony and when it’s Arthur’s turn he tells Elena that he can’t marry her, she agrees, Godwin looks bemused and Uther is about to have a rage induced aneurism.
Godwin and Elena prepare to leave, still wondering what happened to Grunhilda. Uther is still furious at Arthur, but Godwin tells him that he shouldn’t punish Arthur – that Arthur did the right thing and will make a good king. 
And there’s a brief bit of flirting between Gwen and Arthur at the end. 

Okay…now for the questions. 

1.       If I’d written this episode…I would have found another way to do away with Elena’s nursemaid. This is the woman that raised her, and who seemed to have genuine affection for her. I really disliked that Merlin was so “too-bad-so-sad” about it. Like it meant nothing to him to basically kill a mother who was (in her eyes) defending her child. After all, she had no idea what Merlin and Gaius were going to do to Elena.
  2.    The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. Loved the heartbreaking conversation between Gwen and Arthur about not being able to be together. Hated how absolutely hurtful (and very un-Morgana-like) Morgana was to Gwen about Arthur needing to marry Elena. That was awful.
 3.    Something you’ve never noticed about this episode before.Jen pointed this out while we were watching, but how reminiscent some of the music was to the main Beetlejuice theme.
4.    Favorite Costume. This week I have to give it to Gwen’s pink dress – even though I loathe the color pink. But that style is gorgeous.

5.    Here is Proof of some random head canon I’ve created. I didn’t create it, but I remain convinced that Uther and Godwin are more than BFFs. 
6.    What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? I think it was when Merlin was talking to Arthur about destiny and Arthur was really truly seeing Arthur. However, in Jess’ head, the whole marrying for love thing involved Merlin…not Gwen.
7.   What made Jen lose her shit (in a good or bad way) in a bad way? Merlin just up and killing Elena’s only mother-figure like it was NBD and Elena never finding out what happened to the woman who raised her. . 

Jess’ take on the episode is here, and Jen’s is here.

As a young kid, I don’t have a lot of great school memories. I do remember cutting my own bangs during art class…but that wasn’t a particularly good memory. However, it did get my hair out of my eyes.

We moved a lot – between kindergarten and high school, I went to five different schools. I suppose that’s not a ton. I know a lot of people have gone to far more, and in a way, you get used to being the new kid.

I think my favorite elementary school was Riverbend. I loved the teachers I had there – Ms. Zanta for third grade and Mr. Velthouse for fourth. The playground backed up to an apple orchard. We weren’t supposed to go back there, but we always did. We played hide and go seek, tag, Little House on the Prairie…I wanted to play King Arthur and his Knights, but I never got any takers.

I don’t have any really great school memories until high school – mostly because the schools I attended from fifth through eighth grade were a special kind of hell. Think Mean Girls 70s style.

However, in ninth grade, we moved for the last time. And for the first time, I attended a Catholic school. Now, I was raised Catholic, but I had no damn clue what is was like to go to a Catholic school. My poor little public schoolgirl heart was shocked. And also weirdly delighted. I felt like I’d landed in some sort of bizarre social experiment.

I’d never seen nuns in the wild before. That was some serious culture shock – particularly since many of these women ruled their classrooms with ear twisting, ruler slapping, head cuffing, public shaming, and the finely tuned ability to wield guilt just as effectively as a ruler.

When I started my freshman year of high school, it was at a Catholic school. Having been to five public schools prior to high school, I had no idea what was in store for me. The only nun I’d ever met was the aging hippie who played guitar at the church my parents had taken me to.

The nuns at my new school were a surprise. Most wore habits – involving black and white coifs and veils and dresses and skirts in varying shades of blue or brown polyester depending on what order they belonged to. There was also Sister Michael Ellen aka The White Nun or the Library Nun who wore one of those giant,  old school, white multilayered numbers.

Because of her particular habit, I was always a little afraid of her. She looked incredibly intimidating – not to mention mean, especially when she was walking quickly through the halls, her clothes billowing and her gianormous wooden rosary swinging wildly from her waist.

It didn’t help that it seemed she was always ordering the AV nun, Sister Mary Projector, (not her real name) around. Sister Mary Projector (I’m not sure if anyone actually knew her real name) was on an endless quest to deliver the filmstrip projector on the cart with the super squeaky wheel. But mostly, she just wandered up and down the halls never reaching her destination.

I had a theory that The White Nun was trying to keep Sister Mary Projector out of the library as much as possible by sending her to a room that didn’t exist because she’d always fall asleep and snore loudly, driving The White Nun batty. Once I followed Sister Mary Projector for an entire class period – she never delivered that cart anywhere.

Then there was Sister Rosine. At first, I thought she was just a sweet, little old lady. That was cleared up within the first five minutes of religion class when we were all seated alphabetically – except for the non-Catholics. They had to sit in the back of the room, because they were “going to hell, anyway.” There was also the day that she went on a tear about the color red. As far as she was concerned, it was a color reserved for Satanists and whores. Unfortunately, that was the day I’d chosen to wear a red sweater and had painted my nails bright read to match. So had my friend. We had to stand up and announce that we were “Brides of Satan.” Yeah. I know. It was insane.

And lastly, there was Sister Clarine – the biology nun – think white lab coat over a baby blue polyester dress and the most sensible of sensible shoes. The first time I saw her, she was standing outside the door to her room with a clipboard. The second time I saw her, she was draped with two, seven-foot boa constrictors. I promise you, there are fewer things more disconcerting  than a sweet faced, little old lady wearing a a veil and covered in snakes.

In addition to nun antics, I also met several of my favorite people in the world at that school. My oldest and dearest friend, Margaret and my equally awesome and amazing friends Kelly and Paula. We’re still friends to this day, and that in and of itself is pretty damn impressive.

Margaret and I did musical theater together – The Wizard of Oz, Camelot and Grease together. Kelly, Margaret and I sang in the choir. And Paula and I laughed until we cried. A lot.

I also met Mr. Green there. Yep. The husband. That one. We were in a study hall together that was more like sit-around-and-gossip-and-play-cards for-an-hour-in-the-cafeteria than a traditional study hall. We met because he was an asshole. And trying to pitch Red Hot candies down the front of my blouse. I waited until the bell rang and everyone was getting up to leave and walked around the table. In retrospect, it was kind of sweet. He looked weirdly hopeful. And then I upended my Coke on his open Calculus book. That was one expensive book. But I didn’t have to pay for it. He did. Because he was an asshole.

However, he did (obviously) redeem himself considering that we just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this year.

So, those are some of my fondest school memories. What are some of yours?  Click the names of the other Wednesday Random bloggers to see theirs. I, for one, can’t wait!

Jess
Gwen
Kris

 

This week, the Wednesday Random bloggers are blogging about some of our favorite book covers.

Let the parade of covers begin!

In no particular order, some of my favorites are:

I love the simple beauty of this cover – the colors, the delicate swirls, the glow, the slightly out of focus font. I love this one so much more than the more recent cover it was given.

The Wild Swans is one of my all time favorite fairy tales, but I also love Susan Jeffers’ illustrations. Also…she’s KNITTING! What’s not to love!?

Eyes Like Leaves (a deLint book I haven’t read, yet) is so freaking beautiful. I love everything about this – the Greenwoman, the foxes, the forest, the unearthly glow. It’s gorgeous.

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children is a creepy little cover, but I just love it. One of these days, I’ll get around to reading this one.

This is another one of my favorite fairy tales, and I really love P.J. Lynch’s illustrations – they sort of reminiscent of both Arthur Rackham and Michael Hague.

Here’s another example of Lynch’s work in another of my very favorite stories. The illustrations are stunning all the way through.

It’s no secret. I adore ravens. I also adore the hell out of this book. And I think this cover is just stunning. I’d hang this artwork on my wall if I could.

I love the this one – the vaguely Victorian looking clothing, the pale skin the spaced out drugged expressions. It’s got a weirdly creepy but beautiful look to it.

I love shadowy, dreamy, watercolory feel of this one. IRL, the cover has an almost metallic sheen, but unfortunately, that doesn’t translate well to pictures.

Another Charles deLint book – one of my faves – not his very best, but I love it anyway. I’d tracked this one done on ebay for the artwork since I’m a huge fan of Brian Froud. But I ended up reading the story, and I fell in love with deLint’s storytelling. There is nothing I don’t love about this cover.

Like Tithe, I love the simple beauty of this image – Autumn leaf, fire, the warm earthy colors against a stark black field – just beautiful.

And my list wouldn’t be complete without this stunning beauty. It’s the cover for my soon-to-be-released YA novel. There’s nothing I don’t love about this cover. The eerie blue light, the deserted stretch of Upper Peninsula road, the deer, the key, the girl. I just freaking LOVE it.

Click the names below to see what covers the other WR bloggers love.

Leigh
Kellie
Jess
Gwen
Kris


So, this week’s episode is one that’s pretty universally loathed, but more on that as I go. 
It opens with Merlin and Arthur running away from a giant hoard of marauders/bad guys/ what-have –you with no explanation to why. Obviously, it’s a plot device to for Arthur to be shot with an arrow and conveniently knocked unconscious so Merlin can learn nifty new mystical things and further the plot of the show. 
Merlin has a tender moment with Arthur, calling him dollophead and clotpole while trying to wake him. He even uses the forbidden magic to try to heal Arthur, but it doesn’t work. A mysterious, robed man shows up and heals Arthur then insists that Merlin go with him to the Crystal Cave. He wants Merlin to look into the crystals and see the future. Merlin wants nothing to do with it, after his last experience of seeing the future in a crystal. But Taliesin insists. 
Merlin sees horrible images of Morgana sitting on the throne of Camelot, fighting with her horse, holding an ornate dagger and killing Uther. He flips shit and goes back to Arthur. Taliesin disappears. Arthur and Merlin head back to Camelot and Merlin lies to him about what went down.  Happily, they’re home in time for Morgana’s birthday celebration the next day.
Merlin is super freaked and paranoid about Morgana and tells Gaius about it. In typical Gaius fashion, he dismisses literally everything that comes out of Merlin’s mouth. I’m not sure if it was to reassure Merlin or if he really wasn’t buying it. Also, he tells Merlin that Taliesin has been dead for centuries, so how cool that Merlin saw him. So really? Dead dude shows up to reveal mystical shit, and you’re not believing it? Whatever, Gaius. 
Events that Merlin saw in the Crystal Cave are coming to pass and he freaks some more. When he tells Gaius about them, Gaius again blows him off and dismisses Merlin’s fears. Merlin’s paranoia ramps up an extra notch when Arthur tells him that he got Morgana a dagger for her birthday present. But Merlin is relieved when he sees it’s not the dagger he saw in the visions. Then he tells Arthur that he would have thought Arthur would have picked something else since “girls like pretty things.”
Later, at the feast, Morgana is opening her presents and when she opens Arthur’s, it’s a dagger. But not the same one he showed Merlin. It’s the ornate one from the vision. Arthur thanks Merlin for his advice about pretty things, and Merlin freaks once again. 
After the party, Gwen brings more presents sent to Morgana from other kingdoms. One of them is a mirror that has a message from Morgause about meeting her in the darkling woods. Morgana sneaks out and Merlin follows her, magically slamming a door in her face. Startled, Morgana falls down the stairs and suffers a massive head injury. 
She’s brought to Gaius’ room. He stitches up her wound, but she’s still unconscious and now dying. Everyone is upset, but no one is more fraught with grief than Uther. He begs Gaius to make her well again, even not-so-subtly hinting that magic is just fine by him. Well, you know, Uther…as long as you stand to gain from it, it’s cool. 
 
Uther also confesses that he had an affair with Morgana’s mother, and Morgana is his daughter. (This, my loves, is where everything goes to hell in a huge way.) He begs Gaius again to do whatever must be done to save his child. Never mind that he wasn’t willing to do the same for Arthur when he was dying. But whatever. I digress. 
Merlin calls the dragon for advice. The dragon is super happy that Morgana is on death’s door and is pretty vocal about it. Merlin commands the dragon to give him a spell to heal Morgana. The dragon is pissed, but is compelled to obey because of that whole Dragon Lord issue. 
Merlin casts the spell and heals Morgana. Everyone is overjoyed. Morgana tries to get Uther to admit to her that he’s her father and public claim her as his child, but Uther sidesteps it all. Morgana is furious and hurt.
Morgause sneaks into the castle and kills a wine bearer (like you do) and meets with Morgana wanting to know why Morgana didn’t meet her the other night. Morgana tells Morgause that she now knows that Uther is her father. Morgause is thrilled at the news and counsels her not to do anything rash. 
But we all know that rash is what Morgana lives for. So when Merlin sees the dead wine guy, he knows something is up with Morgana (dead wine guy was also in the Crystal Cave vision) he goes to find her. She magically knocks him out and knocks over a candelabra, setting the room on fire then heads out to murder Uther in his bed. 
Merlin wakes up in time to avoid burning to death and races to Uther’s room where Morgana is holding her birthday dagger over Uther preparing to stab him. Merlin sneaks in just in time, and unable to stop her by confronting her (because she’ll frame him for it and Uther will believe her- this is my interpretation, btw) he magically blows out the window and the blast knocks her backward into a wall and wakes up Uther. Morgana lies and says that she was there for comfort because her room caught on fire while discreetly kicking the dagger under the bed. 
Later, Gaius and Merlin are talking and Merlin explains that he thought he could alter the future, but he ended up causing it. I don’t think this is necessarily true. However Gaius must because he doesn’t disabuse him of this notion at all. His attitude is very, yeah, you really did, but done is done and now we have more important things to worry about like Morgana knowing that the Uther is her father which means she has a legitimate claim on the throne and Arthur is in danger. 
Okay…now for the questions. 

1.       If I’d written this episode…Ugh. So many things. Most importantly, I wouldn’t have Uther confessing that Morgana was his daughter. Not after the previous couple seasons where they acted more like lovers than anything else. I’m still furious about this. The writers had so many other options they could have taken and they blew it. Completely blew it. I would have had Gaius take Merlin seriously instead of blowing him off and then basically blaming him for what happened.
  2.    The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. Loved Merlin trying to wake Arthur up after he’d been shot. So sweet.  Hated Uther’s obvious preference of one child over the other.
 3.    Something you’ve never noticed about this episode before.That Morgana gave Gwen one of her birthday presents to basically distract her and get rid of her.
4.    Favorite Costume. When in doubt, Morgana’s jammies.

5.    Here is Proof of some random head canon I’ve created. None for this episode.
6.    What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? I think it was when Merlin was tenderly calling Arthur dollophead and clotpole while trying to wake him. And his fear and sadness when he couldn’t.
7.   What made Jen lose her shit (in a good or bad way) in a bad way? Hands down the Uther/Morgana father/daughter storyline which makes the last couple seasons seem super incesty. 

Jess’ take on the episode is here, and Jen’s is here.


This week, we’re talking about when we realized we wanted to be writers. I wrote this a while ago, for another blog, but my answer hasn’t changed, so I’m reposting it here. 
When I was 8, my parents got divorced (hang with me, people – I promise this isn’t going to be a tale of writing my first romance story in a misguided effort to get my parents back together) and my mom went back to school and moved us to a trailer park near the college campus.

Our brand new, 1976 Champion trailer backed up to a heavily wooded ravine where my brother and I spent most of our time playing. The trailer park was filled with a lot of hippies, college students and hippie college students. For the most part, everybody was pretty friendly, particularly the stoners, and it wasn’t a bad place to live. Our super-awesome babysitter, Suzanne, lived right next door and my mom’s friend Pragati would come over and cook Indian food for us while my mom helped her study.

One night, Pragati brought over her boyfriend. He was a psych student who was interested in the effects of divorce on children and this dude (can’t remember his name, but there was a major Tom Selleck mustache going on) wanted to know if I’d be interested in writing about my feelings. Well, I wasn’t interested in writing about my feelings, but even at the tender age of 8, I had trouble saying “no” to people. I’m sure no one here is shocked. The next day, Tom-Selleck-Mustache-Guy brought me my very first blue book – you know, the kind you use for essay tests in high school and college – and told me to write about my feelings and encouraged me to draw pictures if I wanted to. He went on ad nauseum about how it was okay to express my sadness and anger and how important it was to do that.

I sat outside under our picnic table (yes, I avoided the sun even then) carefully wrote my name on the cover, then I drew pictures of all the animals, trees and flowers in the ravine where I would have rather have been playing. After I filled in every available space on the cover, I opened the booklet to the lined pages and tried to write about my feelings. After about five minutes, I realized I didn’t want to write about my feelings. My feelings were fine. We were all happier after the split and it seemed stupid to pretend otherwise. I’m not saying that I didn’t miss my dad, but even as a kid, I could see that the whole divorce thing was a good idea. But this guy expected me to be crushed, in fact, it seemed like he not only expected me to be crushed but wanted me to feel that way. Jerk. Who knows – maybe he was writing a thesis paper and I was his subject.

So, I took my pencil and wrote. I wrote a story about a beautiful witch who lived in the deep forest in a small, stone cottage. She had a lot of pets – cats, dogs, cows, horses, mice, unicorns, deer, foxes and bears. She held lovely magical tea parties for the local children (who apparently lived in the forest…) and grew flowers and pumpkins in her garden. Unfortunately, a man with a mustache came to the witch’s little house in the woods and asked about her feelings. Her pet bears ate him.

Now, I’m not saying this is the moment when I knew I wanted to be a writer, but it was the moment I realized that written words made a difference. Tom-Selleck-Mustache-Guy went away and left me and my feelings alone. I knew then that there was power – a kind of magic – in stories, and I knew that I wanted to experience that kind of magic whether I was reading or writing it.

When did you know what you wanted to be when you grew up? Click the names below to see the other WR bloggers’ stories. 

Jess


This episode opens with Arthur and Merlin returning from a hunt. Arthur decides what they really need is a tankard of cold mead, so they stop in at a tavern presumably on the outskirts of Camelot. Arthur gets pissy that the barmaid finds Merlin more attractive than him and later he gets his protective hackles up when a thug tries to shake down the barmaid for protection money. 
He attacks the thug and a giant bar brawl ensues. An extremely hot young man joins the fight and in the process saves Arthur’s life. After putting the thug in the stocks and encouraging the villagers to pelt him with fruit and vegetables (so wasteful, the people of Camelot…) Arthur and Merlin take the injured man back to Gaius so he doesn’t die of his wounds.
Gaius saves the man’s life and he and Merlin quickly become BBFs. Gwaine, our wounded hero, thinks Merlin’s great and that Arthur is okay – until he finds out Arthur is nobility. He’s got a grudge against them because his father was a knight and was killed in battle leaving him and his mother penniless and alone. While Merlin is taking care of Arthur, we discover that there will be a melee tournament with all the knights of the land. 

Cut to the thug and his thug accomplice buying forbidden magic from an old dude. They’re buying blunt edged swords that are secretly, magically sharp and two crystals that when touched with someone’s blood, will cause the wearer to take on the appearance of whoever belongs to the blood. The thug and his accomplice, of course, kill the old man. 
Back at the castle, Gwaine decides he’s had enough of nobility and leaves town, but not without flirting madly with Gwen and tucking a flower in her hair. Gwen is flattered, but she’s not falling for Gwaine’s lines. Disappointed, he leaves Camelot. 

Meanwhile, the thug and his buddy come upon two knights in the woods who are on their way to Camelot for the tournament. The thugs kill them and steal their identity with their magic crystals of identity stealing.
Arthur and Merlin meet them in the courtyard, and Arthur volunteers Merlin’s service to them. They take advantage of Merlin and make him do all kinds of unnecessary heavy lifting. Later Merlin bitches to Gaius about the knights and Gaius says that’s not how he remembers them. 
Gwen comes to the door with an urgent message for Merlin. Gwaine got himself in trouble at a pub by buying drinks for everyone there and then not having the money to pay for it. Merlin goes to rescue Gwaine and bring his drunk ass back to the castle, telling the barkeep that the tab is on Arthur. 
The next morning, Arthur is all pissy because of this. Merlin points out that he’d offered Gwaine a reward that he’d turned down, so why not call it even. Instead, Arthur makes Merlin and Gwaine scrub all the knights’ boots. Gwaine is not pleased. 

Later Merlin finds the blunted swords while cleaning the fake knights’ room and cuts himself on them. He suspects magic and sneaks back into the room after the knights are asleep and notices the crystal. The knight wakes and attacks him. Gwaine comes to Merlin’s rescue and the knight presses charges against Gwaine. 
They all end up in Uther’s judging room, and Uther, predictably wants Gwaine’s head. Arthur tries to talk him down explaining that Gwaine saved his life, so Uther decides on banishment, instead. Because he’s so benevolent, you know. Gwaine is released and runs into Gwen as he’s leaving, she defends Arthur and Gwaine realizes that she’s in love with Arthur. 
While Merlin is cleaning Arthur’s room, Uther comes in and gives Arthur the blunted sword that he won the melee with many years earlier and Merlin knows that Arthur can’t beat the fake knights if they’re using magic weapons. 
The melee begins, and there’s a lot of fighting on horseback. Merlin discreetly uses magic to help even the odds and knock the fake knights out of the tournament. It helps, but not entirely. Eventually, it’s just Arthur fighting the fake knights, and things aren’t looking good for our hero. But another knight rides in and joins the battle, protecting Arthur. 
The fake knights are eventually killed and Gwaine reveals himself. Never mind that Gwaine just saved his son’s life, Uther is furious that this dude he banished dared return to Camelot.  He has Gwaine seized. Uther goes to Gaius in hopes that he can save the two fake knights and Gaius reveals that they were magic using thugs all along. 
Uther allows Gwaine to live, but lets the banishment stand. Because he’s a douchecanoe. Arthur apologizes and explains that his father is wrong. Later Merlin wants to know why Gwaine won’t tell the king who he really is and get pardoned so he can stay in Camelot. Gwaine says that he could never serve under a man like Uther. Merlin reminds him about Arthur and Gwaine says that maybe someday he’ll fight at Arthur’s side again then leaves. 
Merlin and Arthur watch Gwaine leave the city from the parapets. They also see him flirt with Gwen on his way out, and Arthur gets super jealous.
Okay…now for the questions. 

1.       If I’d written this episode…I would have had more gratuitous shots of shirtless Gwaine. What? This blog is a place of truth and honesty. And I’m being honest. 
  2.    The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. Loved Gwaine. Can’t help it. It’s the truth. He’s adorable. I also like how Merlin made a new friend. Seriously, this dude has limited chances to meet people who don’t end up being all evil and shit. Hated the fact that if Uther had known that Gwaine’s father had been a knight it would have changed everything for Uther. But it’s Uther. Whatevs.
 3.    Something you’ve never noticed about this episode before. That untrained thugs would be able to hold their own against knights. 
4.    Favorite Costume.Gwaine’s bed sheet. Yes…still being shallow over here.

5.    Here is Proof of some random head canon I’ve created. None for this episode.
6.    What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? There wasn’t much Merthurness in this episode. Maybe when Arthur was demanding that Merlin pay off Gwaine’s bar bill – simply because in Jess’ head it would have ended far differently. 
7.   What made Jen lose her shit (in a good or bad way) in a bad way? This is a tough one this week… maybe the fact that the old sorcerer man was stupid enough not to protect himself from thugs who wanted dangerous magic for nefarious purposes?

Jess’ take on the episode is here, and Jen’s is here