Bronwyn Green

The Corner of Quirky & Kinky

It’s time for another Promptly Penned. The prompt will be in bold in the story.

“I’m back.” Jasper Nolan peered into the family room where his little sister, Junie, was hanging out with a couple of her friends watching The Fault in Our Stars, or maybe, it was The Last Song, for what had to be the ninety-seventh time this month. Fucking depressing piece of shit movies. “Come help put stuff away, please.”

Junie paused the movie, pushed herself up off the floor and headed for the kitchen, followed by Livia and Laurel while he busied himself putting away groceries.

He didn’t pay much attention to the girls until he heard Livia giggle. “I can’t believe you asked your brother to get you tampons. That’s so weird.”

Junie rolled her green eyes. “Why? He was going to the store, and I was out.”

“He’s a guy.” Livia said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Head’s up, Liv,” he said, tossing her the Cool Ranch Doritos she’d asked for. Well, technically, they were the store brand. Feeding a small horde of teenage girls on the regular was pricey.

“Thanks,” she said with a smile.

“So, you wouldn’t ask your brother or dad to get them for you? Even if you really needed them, and you felt like crap?” his sister asked Livia.

“No way,” she said, vehemently, opening the bag and shoving a chip in her mouth.

“What about you?” Junie asked her other friend, Laurel.

The girl silently shook her head, eyes wide and horrified.

“I wouldn’t even ask my boyfriend,” Livia added.

“Not that he’d do it anyway,” Junie muttered.

Jasper snorted and shook his head. “Just remember, a guy who isn’t secure enough to get what you need when you’re miserable and crampy isn’t worth your time.”

“Damn straight,” Junie said. Livia didn’t look convinced, but Laurel at least seemed to be considering the idea.

He handed his sister the chips and dip she’d requested, and she frowned. “Hey, these aren’t Lays.”

“Seriously?” When she pouted, he added, “The best of the best weren’t available—well, technically, they were, but we’re on a budget—so we got the best of the mediocre. Deal with it.” He hated to remind her that they had to watch every penny, but if he was going to make sure her college tuition was completely covered, they had to.

She glanced at the box of tampons in the middle of the kitchen table. “At least, you didn’t cheap out on the important supplies.”

He laughed. “I’m not stupid—I know when off brand is unacceptable.” Gesturing at the junk food buffet the girls were spreading over the dining room table, he said, “Now, that I’m back with sustenance, how about if you get back to the studying you promised you’d do tonight.” Ignoring the chorus of groans, he added, “You guys have finals next week.”

“Did you get a chance to look at the packet from the Lakeshore Art Institute?”

Stifling a sigh, he glanced up into his sister’s expectant face. “I haven’t had time, yet.”

“The class is taught by Professor Rodriguez. She’s done a couple guest presentations with Ms. Parrish this year. She’s amazing!”

He tugged on Junie’s ponytail. “I promise, I’ll get to it tonight.”

“Okay. Thanks, Jas.” Her hopeful smile gutted him.

It wasn’t a complete lie. He had been busy. But he’d also been dreading finding out how much this art class she wanted to take was. He knew she’d tell him to take it from her portion of the college fund their parents had left them, but that wasn’t happening. Not a fucking chance. They’d figure something else out. He knew she’d been saving her money from her weekly babysitting job, but he was also betting that the class would cost a lot more than that.

As soon as the rest of the groceries were put away, he grabbed the manila envelope her art teacher had sent home from school. Junie had always loved art, in fact, it had been both solace and her main form of communication after the car accident that had killed their parents. Over the years, she’d found her voice again, but art—particularly ceramics—was her love.

He tossed the packet on his dresser next to the stoneware bowl she’d made him for Father’s Day, last year then ran his fingers along the rim. His fingertip caught in the edge of the one crack they hadn’t been able to glue back together perfectly when she’d brought the pieces home from the studio, and his throat thickened. She’d been crushed. He’d never thought he’d be raising a teenager at his point in his life—he was twenty-six, for fuck’s sake. But here they were. They were doing okay. And they were incredibly close, but it was so much more challenging than he’d ever imagined. It was also fucking worth it.

That’s it from me, today. Be sure to check out the other bloggers’ stories. 

Gwen  *  Siobhan  *  Jess

Here are some highlights from June.

Norris’ very, very late Christmas gift. Because she’s the original Honey Badger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lake Superior – part of the Pictured Rocks Lakeshore   

Black raspberries are my very favorite fruit, and I’ve got some growing in my backyard. 

Our view of Lake Superior from the porch of our retreat cabin taken from the very same spot, on three different days. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

View of the west shore of Lake Superior from the top of Brockway Mountain.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hunters Point beach in Copper Harbor.

Norris, me, Jen, and Jess at Hunters Point.

 

Check out the other bloggers’ photos.

Siobhan  *  Gwen

 

 

The lake gently lapped against the rocks lining the pier, and I closed my eyes and leaned back against the sun-warmed metal of the lighthouse, tilting my face toward the sky. Normally, I wouldn’t have ventured this far out on the pier. Currents in the huge lake changed constantly, often making it treacherous. But today, it was almost placid, and I needed to find the peace the water usually brought me.

I needed it desperately. My chest ached. There was  a gaping aching hole where my fucking heart had been. Hailey had taken it with her when she’d gone. My friends had tried to warn me. Hell, when her mom found out I was going to propose, even she’d tried to make me see reason–her own mother. That should have been my clue.

I’d been walking around in a daze, barely functioning, since I’d come home from work a week ago to discover she’d moved out. She’d left a note on the fridge, a rainbow magnet holding it up next to the list of contact info for the caterer, the ceremony venue, the seamstress who was supposed to be altering our dresses. The only things of hers left in the entire apartment were a couple hair ties wrapped around the handle of the brush we shared and her wedding dress hanging right next to mine in the front hall closet–both of them looking like ghosts of a love lost.

An icy wave hit my lap, and my eyes flew open. I must have dozed off. The calm water had vanished, leaving roiling crests in its place. Huge pewter-colored clouds crawled across the bleak light of the afternoon sky. I scrambled to my feet, grabbing at the riveted steel of the lighthouse as another wave slammed into me, the metal ringing dully as my head bounced off the side.

I squinted at the shore. Churning water washed over the pier, making the distance seem a hundred times farther than it actually was, and lightning flashed overhead. I didn’t have a choice but to try to make it to the beach. Bracing myself against the now howling wind, I crept away from the meager protection the lighthouse offered and inched toward shore.

My jeans clung wetly to my legs, and my shoes squished uncomfortably as I tried to push forward through the gale. Water swirled around my feet and ankles, tugging at me as the lake flowed away from the barrier, only to wash over it again eddying around my feet.

It was getting harder to stay upright. If the storm got any worse, I’d end up in the lake, dashed against the rocks. I made the mistake of looking down as the next wave hit. The water dragging at my ankles looked like hands. Hands that were pulling me toward the edge.

The muscles in my thighs trembled as I tried to keep moving, tried to pull free of what could only be an illusion created by grief and fear. But the thrashing water took on more discernible shapes, and I stopped walking and watched in paralyzed horror.

The hands around my ankles flowed into wrists, and arms formed, evolving into shoulders and heads with coiling, undulating hair. On either side of the pier, the watery figures rose and fell with the storm swells, gaining in strength as they tugged me toward the edge.

“Let me go,” I choked out through my growing horror.

Eerie laughter filled the air—part wind, part water, all terrifying.

The waves continued to violently batter me as the creatures became more agitated–fighting over my body, now yanking on my arms as their sodden grip tightened. I tried to break away, but watery fingers climbed up my neck to tangle in my hair, yanking my head back.

It must have exerted enough force to free me from the creatures on the left, because I went tumbling over the right side of the pier, my knee cracking loudly against one of the jagged rocks lining the concrete. Agony shot down my calf that now dangled uselessly in the water as I tried to swim toward shore. The clinging hand in my hair tugged me back across the scant distance I’d managed.

“Please,” I forced out through chattering teeth. “Please let me go.”

“You have something we need,” they murmured, their voices as oddly sinuous as their bodies.

Their creepy laughter twined around me as the figures pulled me beneath the tossing waves. The surface grew darker the farther down they dragged me. I struggled, my nose and eyes filling with water, but I couldn’t break their hold. Black spots peppered my vision, and a sudden excruciating pain radiated from the center of my chest.

Muffled and mournful, their hisses filled my head. “This one’s empty.”

Looked like Hailey’s swath of disappointment and broken dreams continued. If I’d had the breath I would have laughed.

That’s it for me this week. Be sure to check out the other bloggers’ stories, too. 

Kris  *  Siobhan

Okay, so last month, I said I’d…

  • Finish all scheduled blog posts. (Yep.)
  • Finish all scheduled audio preps. (Yep.)
  • Finish all scheduled edits. (Yep.)
  • Finish and submit that short story. For real, this time. (Sigh…nope.)
  • Figure out what I’m going to work on while we’re on retreat. (Yep.)
  • Have an amazing fucking time on retreat. (Yep.)

Well, five out of six, I guess.

So, this month, I’m going to…

  • Finish all scheduled blog posts.
  • Finish all scheduled audio preps.
  • Finish all scheduled edits.
  • Finish and submit that short story. For real, this time. No…really. I am.
  • Work on my new Bound book.
  • Re-release my witch stories.
  • Not beat myself up for not being where I’d like to be.

That’s it for me this month. Be sure to check out how Jess‘ goals shook out.

 

Since, I just got back from a road trip to our annual writers retreat to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, I feel pretty well equipped to write this post. And it helps that I keep a running packing list on my phone, so I usually don’t forget stuff.

In no particular order, these are my top ten road tip essentials.

10.) Phone, tablet and chargers. Yes, this is technically three items, but they all go together to prevent me from getting lost. Or bored. I hate being both of these things.

9.) Portable craft project. Usually knitting or cross stitch. That whole hate being bored thing? I really mean it.

8.) Notebooks and pens. I never know when a story idea is going to strike. It’s best to be prepared. If it’s a long trip, I’ll often bring my laptop, too.

7.) Sunglasses, contact stuff, glasses, and eyedrops.TBH, I’m mostly blind, so I’d be screwed without this stuff.

6.) Lip balm. This is a huge necessity. I’ll admit, I’m addicted to the stuff. In addition to keeping tubes by my computer, sewing machine, bed, and in the bathroom, there are always at least three tubes in my purse, a couple more in my computer bag, and at least one in my craft bag. Yeah…I may have a little problem.

5.) Water and iced tea. I don’t get in the car without either of these things. I’m always thirsty. Especially if I’m traveling.

4.) Sunscreen. I need the SPV Vampire variety. I even burn through car windows and the windshield. It suuuuuccckkks.

3.) Music. I need to be able to sing (loudly and dramatically) on a road trip.

2.) Inhaler. This is one of those don’t leave home without it things. Because asthma is stupid.

1.) Allergy pills, ibuprofen, and Adderall. Gotta be prepared.

What are your must-haves for taking a road trip. Be sure to check out Jess and Kris‘ lists, too.

It’s time for this month’s writing prompt. The prompt will appear in bolded text in the story.

 

You need this job. You need this job, You need this job, I chanted silently to myself. Keep your mouth shut. You need this job.

When Aubrey had described her Aunt Beatrix as whimsical and a little eccentric, I’d been expecting that maybe she collected teapots, or salt and pepper shakers, or even creepy porcelain dolls, not…this.  This was… Fuck me, I didn’t even have a word for what this was.

But, the job paid well–ridiculously well, I’d thought when Aubrey had first mentioned it, and it included on site room and board. Better still, it was close to the theatre district which would make it perfect for auditioning and any shows I might get cast in. On paper, it was a dream job. In reality, however…

“Now, as I’m sure Aubrey mentioned, I have a maid to take care of the rest of the apartment,” Beatrice was saying as she walked farther into the huge room, “but my gallery requires too much work for Elin to handle on top of her regular duties.” Beatrix turned to me with a smile. “Which is where you come in.”

“Right,” I murmured, trying not to let my revulsion show.

Beatrix smiled–a small curving of the lips, reminding me of a benevolent saint in a stained glass windows of my childhood church. That was where the resemblance stopped. I was fairly certain her dress cost more than the entirety of wardrobe plus my previous annual income.

“Now, I expect that you’ll have a busy audition and rehearsal schedule, pretty girl like you.”

“Thank you. I hope so, ma’am”

She nodded knowingly, then added, “But the contents of this room will need to be dusted thoroughly every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. There are archivist gloves in the top drawer.” She pointed toward an antique wooden filing cabinet. “You’ll need a fresh pair each day.”

“Okay.”

She walked farther in to the room, and I followed reluctantly. “Each piece must be taken down, and both it and it’s spot dusted carefully. I know that they look clean, but dust accumulates quickly.”

Oh god. I was going to have to touch them. All of them. Every last one of them. Three times a fucking week. “Have you ever considered those vacuum-sealed display cases?”

Her laughter tinkled like broken glass hitting a tile floor. And I could swear that the hundreds of ventriloquist dummies that surrounded us were laughing, too.

“Don’t be silly. How would I play with them, then?”

I am way too sober for this shit.” I muttered under my breath.

“What was that, dear?”

I pasted on my most convincing smile. “Oh, sorry. I said, I’m looking forward to it.”

 

That’s it for me, today. Be sure to check out Siobhan’s take on the prompt, too. 

A couple years ago, I was sitting and writing when I heard my daughter yell at the anime she was watching, “That’s not a character, that’s a fucking plot device!”

I can’t even tell you guys how proud I was.

Seriously.

So. Fucking. Proud.

Now, there are a lot of things that I’d consider the worst in characterization, but they’re all kind of connected to the idea of a character being a plot device rather than an full-fledged character.

So, to me, the worst is a character that exists solely to move the plot in the desired direction or to illustrate a point about another character.

For instance, all the women who swoon over the hero. When those characters exist solely to swoon, they’re not actual characters. They’re a shorthand method of letting the reader know that, yes indeed, everyone wants some of that sweet, sweet hero peen.

Then there are the characters that are there solely to move the plot forward. Now, I’m not talking about the victim in the kidnapping that the heroines have to work together to find, or an incidental character like a cop who shows up at the scene of the accident where the hero and heroine meet. It wouldn’t be realistic if the cop didn’t show up.

I’m thinking more of the characters that show up in a super contrived way that propels the plot forward. The rando vendor at a traveling faire who randomly gifts the heroine with a locket that sends her back in time. Or the renowned psychiatrist who just happens to be riding the subway and is coincidentally having a loud conversation about one of his clients, but that overheard information gives the hero the insight he needs to find the serial killer before he murders the other hero.

Character as plot device can also be an established character who suddenly starts behaving in a completely contrary manner, with little to no motivation, that goes against what the author has established. Like, lets say the author has a hero who’s kinda shy, doesn’t like crowds, and doesn’t like getting physical. But the author wants the hero to meet and then rescue the heroine at an underground MMA fight club. (Is fight redundant there? Asking for a friend who knows jack about MMA.) Anyway, if the author has established the hero’s aforementioned traits, it’s not going to make any sense at all, for the hero to suddenly decide that he’s got a hankering to get all sweaty and fighty because the author decided that this would be the best meet cute ever.

If the author really wants to get this shy, crowd and fight-avoiding hero to this underground fight club, they’re gonna have to think of a different way to do it. He’s going to need sufficient motivation to leave his comfort zone. Like, maybe his brother is thinking of getting involved and the hero goes to wherever one goes for MMA action to talk his brother out of it. And while he’s there, he sees the heroine and hates the way she’s being treated, so he tries to get her out of there, too. Both methods achieve the same ends, but one is a plot device, and one is plot. The difference is consistent characterization and realistic motivation.

Now, the best characterization, in my opinion, is a depiction of a fully realized person–someone who’s got good qualities as well as flaws. Someone who grows and changes during the course of the story while still staying true to the the character the author established. And finally, someone who’s got emotional depth who’s also someone the reader can connect with and empathize with. That’s the kind of characterization I’m looking for.

That’s it for me, today. Be sure to check out Jess’ post, too!

It’s time for another photo flash fic. 

I lowered my camera and stared at my sister. “Katrina…what the actual fuck are you doing?”

“Posing,” she huffed.

Sighing, I took a few shots. If nothing else, maybe I could use them for something.

“Really?” Seth, my best friend muttered, next to me. “Those are the shots you’re taking?”

I glanced over at him and grinned. “What? I’m a girl who likes her options. And sometimes, those options require blackmail.”

He rolled his eyes.

“What was that?” Katrina called out.

“Nothing,” I called. “But how about if you try something else. You’re posing for profile pics–not Contortionist Monthly.”

She flipped me off.

“Profile pics for what?” Seth asked.

She lifted her head, straining her neck, slightly to look at Seth. “Dating site. I’m going for glamorous.”

Seth stiffened next to me, and I grinned. Taking a few more shots, I added, “You missed glamorous and landed smack in the middle of drunken afterparty for a John Deere themed wedding.”

Katrina straightened and put her hands on her hips. “Nice.”

And Seth scowled at me.

“Just calling it like I see it.” I shrugged. “Besides, you’re the one who’s insisting on being so extra.”

“She’s not,” Seth whispered.

I knew my incredulity was clear on my face. “You’re kidding. Right?!”

His cheeks flushed. “Fine. Maybe a little bit extra.” Before I could respond, he crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t know why she thinks she needs online dating. There’s plenty of guys around here.”

“How’s this?” Katrina yelled, striking another awkward pose.

Ignoring her, I stared balefully at him. “Huh. Well, then maybe some of those guys oughta try asking her out.”

He glared at me for a minute, then turned toward Katrina. “Hey, Kat?”

“Yeah?”

He took a few steps toward her and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “The camera’s better on my phone. Why don’t we go to the park? I – I can take some pictures there.”

She smiled almost shyly at him. “Are you sure you wouldn’t mind?”

“Nah. It’ll be fun.”

“You coming?” Katrina called to me.

“I’ve got to run to the store. You guys go on. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” I yelled after them.

Seth discreetly flipped me off behind his back, and I smiled to myself. My work here was done. And I had some bonus blackmail shots in case I needed them.

That’s it for me, today. Be sure to check out the other bloggers’ stories, too. 

Gwen  *  Siobhan

Welp, looks like it’s time for more Therapy with Bron. Intellectually, I’m sure that the majority of these are rooted in anxiety and depression. Emotionally… *shrugs* Sometimes, I’m a train wreck. Before we get started, I should mention that I’m not wandering around feeling like this all the time. Like anything else, insecurity flare-ups are a thing. And some of these are obviously far more impactful than others, so thank fuck, they’re not always lurking in my head–well, except for number two. That one’s pretty much stuck.

Let’s do this, shall we?

As always, these are in no particular order.

10.) Parenting – Most of the time, I feel pretty good about my parenting skills. But there are times that I worry that I’ve irretrievably fucked up my kids for all time.

9.) Body Image – Being fat, I’m pretty insecure about my appearance. I’m great at body positivity for others, However, I’m super bad at extending it toward myself.

8.) Being a Disappointment – Worrying about disappointing the people I care about is a common theme.

7.) How I Look in Photos – Of my four siblings, only two of us are photogenic. I am not one of those two. Other than my mom (who’s adorable, btw) I’m the least photogenic person I know. No…really. It’s bad.

6.) Sounding Dumb – I tend to express myself better in writing than I do verbally, so I often worry that I sound stupid. Also, my voice is obnoxious. Actually, I often worry that I’m legitimately not very bright.

5.) People Just Being Nice (part one) – I sometimes worry that people who say they like my books or leave positive reviews are just being nice because they don’t want to hurt my feelings.

4.) People Just Being Nice (part two) – I also sometimes worry that I’m super annoying and people talk to me because they’re just being nice and don’t want to hurt my feelings.

3.) Imposter Syndrome – It’s that clawing feeling that no matter how well I do, it’s not because I’ve worked hard to learn my craft or have dedicated tons of time and effort writing these books. Nope. It’s all because of some cosmic misalignment of the stars, and eventually everything will go back to how it’s supposed to be. And I guess I’ll be unemployed. In Greenland.

2.) Working Out in Front of Anyone – This is super pathetic, but I’m not even comfortable working out in my own home if my family is here. You know, my family who I love and adore and who I know love and adore me. I’ve never been comfortable working out in front of others, but this experience, a few years ago, definitely made it worse. So, yeah…super insecure about that.

1.) Self-Promo – I wish I could be one of those authors who can say things like, “I’m so excited for you guys to read this!” Or, “This book is amazing, you guys are going to love it!” Or, “This book is so insanely hot!” Or, any number of other positive things authors say to encourage readers to pick up their books. What is your secret?! How do you do that?! I’m afraid that if I tried it, I’d come off looking like a self-obsessed asshole.

That’s probably enough insecurity from me, today. Be sure to check out Gwen’s post and see what’s lurking in her head. 

 

 

Okay…so..yeah, somehow, we’re through May already.

I’d like to tell you that I slept though the month, but that would be a lie. I’m far too tired right now to have slept that much.

  • Complete all scheduled blog posts (Yepper)
  • Complete all scheduled audio preps (5 books)
  • Complete all scheduled edits (3 books)
  • FINALLY finish the short story (no. damn it. )
  • Figure out what I’m going to work on when we’re on retreat in 50 Days: 8 Hours: 11 Minutes: 29 Seconds (It’s now 22 Days: 20 Hours: 02 Minutes: 47 Seconds away, and I’m not solid on a story yet. But…I have the first inklings of an idea. So, I’m hoping more comes to me soon.)
  • Bonus stuff I did: Updated two websites, set up a newsletter for the owner of one of the websites, took care of GDPR stuff, and I read some freaking amazing books, this month.

Okay, so for next month, I’m going to:

  • Finish all scheduled blog posts.
  • Finish all scheduled audio preps.
  • Finish all scheduled edits.
  • Finish and submit that short story. For real, this time.
  • Figure out what I’m going to work on while we’re on retreat.
  • Have an amazing fucking time on retreat.

That’s is for me today. What are your plans for June?