Bronwyn Green

The Corner of Quirky & Kinky

This week for our tandem blogging, Leigh, Jess and I decided to put our music players on shuffle and  post the first ten songs that came up…no matter how cringe-worthy and embarrassing they were.

Well…

Yeah…

Okay, here’s what I got.

1.)  Shiver My Timbers –  Muppet Treasure Island Soundtrack

I refuse to be embarrassed about this…because Muppets! And pirates! And also Tim Curry! (But not in this song.)

2.)  Rumour Has It – Adele  Oh yeah…my go-to Karaoke song.  Also, my sing real loud in the car song while at stoplights.

3.)  Send Me On My Way – Rusted Root.  I love this song, and I’ll love it for the rest of my life no matter what. It’s good for morning yoga. It’s good for road trips. And it’s good for dancing around like an idiot.

4.)  China – Tori Amos.   Quite possibly my least favorite Tori song ever. Seriously, Shuffle – if you were going with the Little Earthquakes album, there were so many better choices.

5.) Cell Block Tango – Chicago Soundtrack.  Now I’ll have the line, “He ran into my knife ten times” in my head for daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaays.

6.) Summer Vibe – Walk Off the Earth.  This is a great road trip song. Sometimes I listen to it and pretend that the snow will someday melt and summer will come back. But I fear this will never come to pass… If you’re needing some summer, too, check this out.

7.) Ojos Asi – Shakira. Well done, Shuffle. I unapologetically love this song. Also, my SIL’s belly dancing tribe does a fantastic dance to this.

8.) Ghosts That We Knew – Mumford and Sons. Yay! I love this song! It’s a little jarring after Shakira, but whatevs.

9.) Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves – Cher.  Ah yes, one of my favorite bedtime songs as a kid because my mom sang us wildly inappropriate lullabies.

10.) Walk Through the Fire – Buffy the Vampire Slayer(the musical episode) Yeah…so the subtitles are in Spanish, but hey…Giles and Spike! Singing!

Sooooooo…this is what my Shuffle thought I needed today. I’m okay with pretty much all of these choices. Except China.No, shuffle. Just…no.

I can’t wait to see what showed up on Leigh and Jess’ lists. You can see Leigh’s here and Jess’ here.

It’s time for Merlin Club – that time of week is when Jess Jarman, Jenny Trout and I recap the latest episode of the BBC’s Merlin.

The episode opens with a mysterious person who’s clearly being naughty and using magic. There’s also a box full of bugs. A box full of magical bugs. This seems like a terrible idea.

But the mysterious figure is undaunted and enchants one of the little bastards then puts it in a lily in a floral arrangement that then gets delivered to Morgana.

That night, the mysterious dude (whose face is all scarred up a bad burn) stands in the courtyard of Camelot looking up at Morgana’s room. And that horrid little magical bug crawls out of the lily, across Morgana’s face and into her ear because this is the episode that’s gonna give me bad dreams for decades to come.

The next scene opens two days later with Uther sitting on Morgana’s bed chastising Gaius for not having figured out what’s wrong with Morgana. Gaius tells him he thinks it’s an inflammation of the brain. When he leaves Morgana’s room, he tells Merlin that Morgana is all but dead. Merlin offers to use magic, but Gaius shuts him right down. 
Cut to Arthur leaving the castle and asking the mysterious dude what his business is. Okay, so in broad daylight someone asks, but no one can be bothered while he’s skulking around at night? Camelot, you need to train your guards better or something. Mysterious dude introduces himself as Edwin and begs an audience with the king. Arthur tells him to shove off; they’ve already got a court physician. And Edwin asks after Lady Morgana’s illness saying he may be able to help. 
Okay look, Arthur…Morgana is ill with a mysterious disease that’s not improving and there’s some strange dude skulking around the courtyard offering to help? Doesn’t that, at the very least, strike you as a little odd? No?  Not even a little? Okay. Maybe it’s just me.
That evening, Arthur is sitting in his chair (looking particularly yummy) while Merlin is pacing and chattering about how not worried about Morgana he is. Arthur basically tells him to sit down and shut up.

  

The next day, Arthur, Uther and Gaius are all in Morgana’s bed chamber, and Gaius tells them that she has only hours to live. Arthur tells them about the not-at-all-suspicious dude from the courtyard. It should be noted that Arthur is wearing his super sexy, long leather coat. Not because it plays into the plot. Just because it’s worthy of noting.
 

Anyhoo, Uther and Gaius are both super dismissive of Edwin, but Arthur argues passionately for him to be allowed to try since Morgana is about to die. They finally relent and Edwin arrives.  As soon as Gaius sees Edwin, he knows they’ve met before. Edwin insists they haven’t. Gaius is all kinds of suspicious. But Uther sets him up in a guest chamber and Arthur hands over Merlin as Edwin’s servant while he’s at Camelot.
Merlin helps Edwin set up all his scientific (alchemy) stuff and then they head out so Edwin can examine Morgana. As soon as he’s in Morgana’s room, he demands that everyone leave and Uther’s all, well okeedokee if that’s what you need. Seriously, Uther? You’re just gonna let some strange man that you’ve known for all of about five minutes be alone with your ward? Really? You don’t think that’ s a little sketchy at all? Okay, then. (Idiot.)

So everyone files out and Edwin prepares to magically calls the nasty little beetle out of Morgana’s ear. Only Gwen didn’t get the memo about everyone needing to be out of Morgana’s room and is immediately suspicious of him. He tells her to go get some water and she insists that someone should be with Morgana because apparently she’s the only one in this castle with any common fucking sense. But he bullies her into going saying that unless she brings his some water Morgana might die.

Spoiler Alert: Edwin is kind of a douche. 
He gets the bug out and plants some blood in Morgana’s ear. Then he tells Uther that it was a misdiagnosis (casting shade at Gaius) and of course Uther believes Edwin rather than the man who’s served him for decades, but you know, bygones. 
Morgana is looking perfectly fine, now and Gaius confronts Edwin under the guise of offering him his congratulations for curing Morgana. So it’s all passive-aggressive up in the halls of Camelot. Uther offers Edwin whatever he wants as a reward which Edwin graciously declines. Seriously, it’s extra-gracious. So much so, that you’re left kinda wanting to throat punch him because it’s not remotely believable. Uther then offers him a place in the palace as Gaius’ assistant. Edwin, graciously (of course), turns it down but says that he’ll stay until Morgana is completely recovered. 
Gaius goes to everyone’s favorite castle genealogist, Geoffrey, to ask for the record of The Purge. The Purge is the nice way of saying that time when Uther killed all the people of the land who had any kind of magic. The records are sealed and Geoffrey refuses to hand them over. Geoffrey is a pretty hardcore rule follower.

Merlin is poking around in Edwin’s chambers and discovers the disgusting magic beetles. Edwin comes in and catches him and realizes that Merlin has magic, too, and tries to convince him that he should be using his magic all the time and offers to mentor him.
Geoffrey shows up in Gaius’ chamber with the records, deciding to be a rule breaker after all. Meanwhile, Uther and Edwin are having supper and Edwin, with the bitchtastic skills of my kid’s vice principal, disses Gaius and completely undermines him to the point where Uther asks him to review Gaius’ previous cases.
Gaius has been up all night studying the records. He goes to confront Edwin about him lying to Gaius about his identity. Uther had Edwin’s parents burned to death during the purge and Edwin was scarred trying to save them – Gaius treated him. Gaius figures out that Edwin is there to take revenge against Uther. Gaius threatens to tell Uther about Edwin and Edwin threatens to tell Uther about Merlin and his magic. So they’re at an impasse.

Edwin works hard to discredit Gaius, and of course, Uther believes him. Uther considers relieving Gaius of his duties. Morgana defends him, but Uther is having none of it. That night while Merlin is asleep, Gaius sneaks down to the dungeon to see the dragon. He asks the dragon about Merlin and whether or not Uther must be sacrificed for Merlin.

Gaius is hurt, but isn’t terribly surprised when Uther retires him. He packs up his stuff and Merlin is upset. He volunteers to go with Gaius, but he turns Merlin down. They have a tearful goodbye. Gwen tries to talk Gaius into staying, too, but he refuses. But she tells him she doesn’t trust Edwin – that Morgana didn’t have blood in her ear – that Edwin planted it. Gaius leaves anyway.

In the meanwhile, Edwin offers Uther a new prescription for an old shoulder injury. That night Uther drinks the new medicine and finds himself paralyzed. Edwin comes in and reveals his evil plan of revenge and puts one of those damn beetles in his ear so it can eat out his brain and Edwin can return magic to Camelot.

Gaius has second thoughts and returns to Camelot where he again confronts Edwin. They fight, but Edwin’s magic is stronger than Gaius’ He throws him against a wall and then starts a ring of fire around him. Merlin comes in, figures out that Edwin is the big bad and demands that he release Gaius. Edwin offers Merlin a place by his side in ruling Camelot. When Merlin refuses, Edwin magically lobs an ax at Merlin’s head, but Merlin’s magic is stronger, and he sends it back and it kills Edwin.

Gaius and Merlin run to Uther’s chamber to save him and Merlin uses magic to get rid of the beetle. Good thing Uther is unconscious, huh? Gaius is proclaimed a hero and Uther reinstates him as court physician and awards him his freedom making him a free man of Camelot. 

 Okay…now on to the questions!

1.    If I’d written this episode, I’d have someone besides Gaius question Edwin’s convenient arrival coinciding with Morgana’s incurable illness. Good lord, Uther is suspicious of every other damn thing, but not this?
 2.    The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. I loved Gwen having the common sense to insist that Edwin shouldn’t be alone with Morgana. I hated that no one really seemed to sufficiently check out Edwin. 
 
3.    Something you’ve never noticed about this episode before.  Uther’s leather pants in the second to the last scene.

4.    Favorite Costume. Morgana’s jammies are lovely. 

 
 
5.    Here is Proof of some random head canon I’ve created. Since my head canon involves Uther and Morgana – Uther seemed a little too familiar with Morgana sitting on her bed like that. More like a concerned lover than a father figure.
6.    What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? This was another not very Merthur-y episode – but the interplay with Merlin pacing in Arthur’s bedchamber and driving him batshit crazy comes to mind. Mostly, because I assume Jess was imagining Arthur turning Merlin over his knee.
7.   What made Jen lose her shit (in a good or bad way) in this episode?  Everyone just blithely leaving Morgana alone with a complete stranger. 

You can read Jess’ recap here and Jen’s recap here! And you can join us for Merlin Club on Twitter on Monday nights at 8pm EST – #MerlinClub

This week, Jess and Leigh and I decided to do a pictorial post about the stuff in our purses. You can poke around in Jess’ purse here and take a purse at the contents of Leigh’s purse here.

But here’s what’s in my bag.

First off, here’s my bag. The leather purse is my winter purse (and also my flying on a plane purse because TSA agents most emphatically do not like my big paisley bag) and the paisley bag is my spring, summer and autumn purse.

This is everything in my purse. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

In the health and and beauty aid department, I have my:

purple paisley makeup bag
a bottle of allergy pills and ibuprofen
a bottle of enzymatic papaya chews (healthier than tums)
contact case and contact solution
3 inhalers
a tube of cough drops
a hair brush
a first aid package (what…I hurt myself a lot)
a pad
oil blotting sheets
2 nail files
a tweezer
dental floss
2 tubes of lip balm
5 bottles of essential oil perfume
a mirror
4 barrettes
2 hair forks

In the finance department there’s:

an overstuffed wallet
a checkbook
an empty change purse
a thing from my new insurance company for when I find anew dentist

And on the writing front, I’ve got:

my iPad
my phone
a charger
2 notebooks
11 pens

And in the random miscellaneous shit section, there’s:

2 pair of sunglasses (brown and black)
keys
a measuring tape
2 Tide spot cleaners
TicTacs
fingerless mitts that my mama knitted me
my carpal tunnel brace that I need to use when I drive
some rocks including the heart shaped one the mama gave me
and my charm bracelet of doom (sometimes I take it off and shove it in my purse)

A few years ago, there would have been a lot more Lego guys and pirates in my bag, but alas…the boys are too old to shove that stuff in there now. Sigh…

Alas, your mortal journey has come to an end. You were a brave soldier. You battled with me through the morass of dirty diapers and puked-on bedding. Together, we scaled Laundry Mountain on a regular basis – me with my never ending supply of soap and you with your extra-large capacity drum.

As much as it hurts me to say goodbye, the repair person says he can’t fix you any more. For 22 years, you fought the good fight – remember that time the daycare kid brought lice into the house and we stayed up until five in the morning washing everything in the world in the hottest water possible? You were a trooper. But now your battle has ended. I will miss you, Washie McWasherton. No other washing machine will ever compare.

It is a sad, sad day in the Green household. We considered having a Viking funeral for dear, sweet Washie, but the nearest body of water is the pond at the park down the street and I’m pretty sure that’ll be frozen over until August.


It’s Merlin Club time with me, Jess Jarman and Jenny Trout! (Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!)
This episode opens with Merlin wandering through a lovely, idyllic forest, gathering mushrooms. All of a sudden he’s attacked by a giant terrifying CGI creature with the head and wings of an eagle and the body of a lion.  From out of nowhere jumps a hot dude with a sword and protects Merlin, fighting off the creature.  Lancelot breaks his sword fighting the beast and both he and Merlin have to run and hide. The creature is apparently a bird of very little brain and flies away thinking it’s lost his prey. Or maybe it just has a terrible sense of smell. Both Lancelot and Merlin breathe a sigh of relief and Merlin notices Lancelot is wounded as he passes out. Cut to credits.
The next scene show Merlin hovering anxiously over Lancelot’s sick bed in Gaius’ chambers, so presumably, Merlin carried Lancelot from the woods to the tower. Gaius assures Merlin Lancelot will be fine by morning. Meanwhile, Arthur and Uther are surveying the damage done to a distant city where a fire is raging in the distance. I think fire must be the visual shorthand sign of distress in Merlin because the creature doesn’t breathe fire or anything, but whatevs. Arthur points out that the creature only took people – not livestock and Uther decrees that there will be extra guards outside all the cities and towns. 
Back at Camelot, Lancelot divulges his childhood dream of being a knight of Camelot. In fact, this is all he’s ever wanted and all he’s ever trained to do. Merlin volunteers to talk to Arthur for him and Lancelot is all star-struck because Merlin knows Arthur.  I imagine that this is how I would react if someone I knew said they knew Anthony Stewart Head. Actually…that’s a lie. There would be more screaming. But I digress. 
So Merlin and Lancelot scamper off to the practice field where Arthur is testing a would-be knight. And being kinda douchey about it. The would- be knight fails and goes home defeated. Afterward, Arthur bitches to Merlin about how there aren’t any good knights available to defend Camelot. Merlin tells him about Lancelot and finds out a horrible truth – elitism is in full effect in Camelot. Only men of noble blood may become knights. So of course, Merlin lies his pants off. Arthur buys it and tells him to bring Lancelot (and his seal of nobility) to the training ground in the morning. 
So Merlin goes back to Gaius’ chamber where Lancelot is waiting and tells him that Arthur wants to meet him, but then drops the nobility bomb and Gaius elaborates on the code aka The First Code of Camelot.  Merlin asks Lancelot why he wants to be a knight so much. Lancelot tells him about how his whole village was slaughtered by marauders and he was the only survivor so he devoted his entire life to learning how to defend himself and others and never being helpless again. And now he’s totally depressed because he feels like his entire life was wasted. 
Merlin vows to make it right and skulks off to the castle’s library where he uses magic to copy of seal of nobility and adds Lancelot’s name to it right under the nose of the castle historian. This is important later. But for now, Lancelot has his patent of nobility listing him as Lancelot the Fifth Son of Lord Eldred of Northumbria. When Merlin shows it to Lancelot, he balks – you know – because he’s the noblest of the noble. And because lying goes against the knight’s code and all Camelot stands for (clearly, he doesn’t know Uther.) But Merlin is persuasive and talks him into is. To be honest, he could probably talk me into most ill-conceived ideas, so I can’t really hold that against Lancelot. 
 Merlin enlists Gwen’s help and she uses her super awesome seamstress skills and whips him up a tabard with the house seal and gets him suited up in armor from her father’s blacksmith’s shop. There’s some mild flirting between Lancelot and Gwen (because seriously, who doesn’t love Gwen) but Lancelot is all kinds of noble. Even though technically, he’s not. And there’s a bit of awkwardness while Gwen’s measuring Lancelot’s inseam. I feel your awkward Gwen. I can’t tell you how many awkward inseam measurements I’ve done while costuming dudes for plays. 
The next day, we see Merlin, Gwen and Lancelot (all gussied up in the gear Gwen busted out for him the night before) waiting for his chance to impress Arthur. Arthur put special emphasis on Lancelot’s name – pronouncing it Lance a-lot (It really is a stupid name.) and asks for Lancelot’s seal. As Lancelot bows to Arthur and hands over the seal, Arthur slaps him knocking him to the ground. He informs him that if this were the battlefield, he’d be dead because of his sluggish reactions and tells him to come back when he’s ready. Lancelot insists that he is ready and Arthur tells him he can start by cleaning out the stables. Merlin gives him a big thumbs up. Merlin is probably just happy to not have to do it himself.
 The next day, we see Lancelot sharpening swords and Arthur coming to find him. He tests Lancelot’s  reflexes by tossing a broom at him. He, of course, catches it. They spar using broom handles and Arthur (looking hot, sweaty and attractive – Lancelot, too for that matter) tells him that he just made basic training. The warning bells ring and everyone takes off to see WTF is going on in Camelot now. There’s an influx of wounded, presumably from outlying areas and Merlin and Gaius are helping tend to them. Lancelot joins them and he and Merlin exchange a meaningful glance when Gaius tells them it was a winged monster. 
Arthur and Uther discuss the monster and Uther tells him to prepare the knights. Meanwhile, Gaius is studying his books late into the night to identify the creature. In the morning Arthur is briefing his knights and lets Lancelot know that he’s moving his final test up to the following morning. Then BAM! It’s the following morning and Lancelot is ready to face Arthur. “Succeed and you join the elite. Fail and your journey ends here.” Sounds a bit like a British Ryan Seacrest…
Anyhoo…they fight and Lancelot is totally holding his own until Arthur punches him in the face and knocks him down. He thinks he’s beaten Lancelot, but not so fast. Lancelot surprises him by knocking him to the ground and forcing him to submit. (No…not that kind. Sigh…)

Arthur’s knights pull Lancelot away from Arthur and Arthur (all pissed the fuck off and very hot looking) jumps up, pulls his sword from the ground and says “On your knees.” in the angriest, sexiest voice ever and then I swooned and I can’t tell you what happens next. 
Okay, so I eventually recovered to see Uther knighting Lancelot and then really cagily question him about his parentage. As suspicious as Uther is, if he had questions about Lancelot, wouldn’t he have checked this shit out *before* knighting the dude? Anyway, he has the castle historian look up the Northumbiran seal of nobility. 
Here’s another question. The librarian knows Merlin was in there looking at that book because Merlin handed it to him when he was done and the dude looked at the spine of the book to see what it was. So he discovers that Lancelot lied. Merlin looked at the book recently and is a little shifty anyway. Wouldn’t you maybe think those two things are connected, library guy? 
Spoiler Alert: He does not.
So there’s a party to celebrate Lancelot’s knighthood and there’s a super unfortunate exchange where Lancelot and Arthur are looking at Gwen and Morgana (who’s got that damn dress on that I dislike because it’s so anachronistic) and Arthur asks Lancelot if he thinks “she’s beautiful”. The she he’s referring to is Morgana. Lancelot answers that he does think she’s beautiful. The she he’s referring to is Gwen. Now, I have no problem with Lancelot thinking Gwen is beautiful. I *wouldn’t* have a problem with Arthur finding Morgana attractive if the writers didn’t drop everything down the suck-hole in season three. But more on that later. Like…in season three.
The next morning, Merlin and Lancelot stumble out of Merlin’s room all hung over and Gaius hands them a hangover cute. Unfortunately, on the orders of the king, a couple guards bust in and drag Lancelot away. Lancelot is on his knees before Arthur, Uther and the court historian/genealogist dude and admits that he lied and Uther has a fit about him breaking the First Code of Camelot. Arthur just looks depressed and disgusted. After Lancelot is thrown in the dungeon, Arthur defends him, saying that the other man just wanted to serve and that basically his heart was in the right place. Uther is having *none* of it, though.
Merlin goes down to the dungeon to apologize to Lancelot who refuses to let Merlin take the blame. Merlin returns to his room and Gaius is psyched because he’s figured out that the monster is a griffin. And just as Merlin is confirming it, the warning bells ring. The griffin is attacking Camelot. Arthur and his knights run to the courtyard and get in griffin fighting formation, but the beast is impervious to their weapons. Meanwhile, Lancelot can hear the commotion in his cell, and it’s killing him not to help Arthur. Back in the courtyard, the fight continues and Arthur gets a good hit but breaks his spear on the creature. Arthur is just about to be carried off by the thing when one of the guards throws Arthur a lit torch and the fire scares off the griffin. 
In Uther’s council chambers, Arthur gives his report on the fight. He’s not happy because they didn’t defeat it. Gaius says that he’s identified it and that it’s a creature of magic. Uther totally dismisses this. You know…Uther…the dude who accuses everyone of using magic at one time or another? That guy? Yeah. Him. Totally blows off Gaius. Won’t even listen to him. Even when Arthur says he thinks Gaius is right. Uther basically sticks his fingers in his ears and sings “lalalalalalalalalalala I can’t hear you!” and decides to send Arthur and his knights our after the creature declaring that they’ll end it tonight. Right, Uther. Whatever you say.
Merlin and Gaius return to their rooms and discuss the possibility of using magic to defeat the griffin. And Gaius informs Merlin that Arthur will die if he follows the griffin and that Merlin must use magic to defeat the beast. Merlin flips out a little because he’s afraid he doesn’t have magic strong enough to defeat the griffin. 
Arthur goes to the dungeon to berate Lancelot and himself. And Arthur admits that he’s upset because Camelot needs men like him and he’s thoroughly pissed that he can’t have Lancelot’s service. But he goes against his father’s wishes and frees Lancelot. Gives him a horse and everything and basically banishes him from Camelot. And Arthur is in the dungeon still looking hot in his armor. It should also be noted that Lancelot in the dungeon is almost, but not quite as hot as Arthur last week. 
Gaius and Merlin look through the magic book and find the right spell to help Arthur. Merlin’s a little wigged because he’s never cast a spell that powerful. He tries and nothing happens. 
Lancelot shows up at Gwen’s place and asks for weapons and armor because it’s his duty to protect Arthur – knight or no. *Swoon* And Gwen, of course, gets him suited up. There’s a moment when it looks like they’re about to kiss, and she asks him not to go. But he must. For he is the most noble man who ever nobled. 
Gwen races to Merlin (who’s practicing and failing his spell) to tell him that Lancelot is riding out after the griffin. Merlin catches up to Lancelot and says he’s going with. Lancelot says he isn’t. They argue, Merlin wins. They follow Arthur and the knights into the dark forest after the griffin. The griffin attacks and when Lancelot and Merlin catch up everyone is either dead or knocked out. (How very typical…)
The griffin comes back for another round and Lancelot runs for his horse while romantic music swells in the background. He lowers his helm and his lance and gallops toward the griffin as the griffin runs toward him. Merlin chants his spell over and over until it finally works – enchanting Lancelot’s lance.
(Side note: Spell work is not in Welsh as previously reported, it’s in Middle English as awesome reader Aunt Suzy pointed out in last week’s comments. Thank you again, Aunt Suzy! You rock!)  
Lancelot kills the beast and Arthur wakes up to find the thing dead. And Lancelot still within Camelot’s borders. (Merlin runs off before Arthur can see him.)
Arthur is super excited that Lancelot killed the thing and Gaius is super excited that Merlin mastered the spell. Arthur and Uther get into a huge row over Lancelot. Uther flips shit that Lancelot is still breathing and Arthur wants him reinstated as a knight of Camelot because he embodies everything knightly and good. They argue some more and Uther finally wins because he’s king. And an asshat.
Merlin comes to check on Lancelot and Lancelot lets him know that he knows about Merlin’s magic. He swears to tell no one, and since this is Lancelot, you have to believe him. 
Lancelot busts into the room where Arthur and his father are arguing and says that he’s leaving because he can’t be the cause of conflict between them. He’s hoping that someday fate will grant him another chance to prove that he’s worthy of being a knight of Camelot. Arthur says he’s already proved that, but he leaves anyway. 
Gwen watches him ride away from Morgana’s window and Morgana says, “Lancelot?” and when Gwen nods, Morgana’s all like, “Come, Gwen. Busy day.” So yeah, never mind that your almost boyfriend is banished, I need my hair done. Not cool, Morgana. Not cool.
 Okay…now on to the questions!

1.    If I’d written this episode, I would have changed… I would have made Morgana less of a bitch at the end. Usually, she acts as though Gwen is her friend. In this episode their class difference is very clear.
 2.    The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. This Arthur/Morgana is NOT okay with me. Actually, it’s totally fine with me…until later and then it’s just wrong, wrong very wrong. Loved Props to the Merlin writers for depicting a man coming to the rescue of another man with no jabs or even winks or nudges at the rescued man’s lack of masculinity – especially since the scenario was so stereotypically “alone in the forest damsel in distress-y.” I just really liked that bit and I thought it was important in terms of the whole theme of equality that the show has.
3.    Something you’ve never noticed about this episode before.  The first time I saw this episode, I didn’t notice how snotty Morgana was at the end.

4.    Favorite Costume. I’ve got to give it to Lancelot. There’s something kinda sexy about the simplicity and also the fact that Lancelot is wearing it.

5.    Here is Proof of some random head canon I’ve created. Since my head canon involves Uther and Morgana – I’ve got nothing in this episode since they didn’t interact at all, and Morgana was barely in it.
6.    What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? This was not a very Merthur-y episode. I’m going to have to go with the extended eye contact when Merlin is trying to convince Arthur to meet Lancelot.
7.   What made Jen lose her shit (in a good or bad way) in this episode?  I’m gonna say when the castle historian dude didn’t connect Merlin with the forged seal of nobility. C’mon guy…he was *just* in there!
You can read Jess’ recap here! And Jen’s is here!

This week, Jess, Leigh, and I are blogging about five places we’d like to like to see in our lifetimes.You can check out Jess’ post here and Leigh’s post here.

I’ll admit, most of the places I want to go are in and around the British Isles. That’s just always been my dream trip. But after seeing some pics, I’ve added a new one, too. Mostly because I like the name.

In completely random order, I desperately want to see Wales. I want to see where my Grandmother grew up, meet the family I still have over there, and also meet a dear friend of mine who I met through writing.

WALES

I also want to see England. So many Arthurian sites to explore (lots in Wales, too, actually) and so much history in all of these countries. I want to start at the bottom work my way up and across until I see everything. I want to wander and meet people.

ENGLAND

And then there’s Scotland. The wild, romantic countryside. The accents. The ruins. The everything. (I’m including the Isle of Lewis and the Isle of Skye as they’re technically Scotland-ish.)

SCOTLAND

I can’t forget about Ireland. I want to go there just as badly as the other places. I want to visit pubs and sing and see the ocean and look for faeries.

IRELAND

And last but not least, Iceland – the land of saunas and the Northern Lights.

Okay, these are my top five – what are yours? Where to you want to go and what do you want to see?

Jess’ recap is here and Jen’s is here! And also, Jess has the Merlin Drinking Game post up, so be sure to check that out, too! It’s here.

This week’s episode of Merlin opens with Nimueh in the ubiquitous cave (DRINK!) hanging out by her magical Baptismal font casting spells and whatnot using a silver chalice and what looks like a piece of clear plastic.

Spoiler Alert: It’s not clear plastic as they didn’t have plastic at Camelot, but you can be sure they had a crimper because Nimueh still looks like a refugee from a music video from the late 80s.

 (Okay this picture isn’t the best for illustrating her anachronistic crimping, but you get the idea.)

Anyhoo… she casts a spell on this chalice and the target is clearly Merlin because a vision of him appears in the font. And also she says his name.

There’s a scene change and we’re in the Great Hall at Camelot where Uther and his knights meet up with the King of Mercia and all his knights.

We see Nimueh in disguise lurking in the background. You can tell she’s in disguise because she has a turban on her head. She’s masquerading as a servant. Which seems to be the best way to sneak into Camelot.

She purposely runs into Merlin later in the hallway while carrying a load of what appears to bedding and there’s some flirting going on. She introduces herself as Cara then sneaks into the King of Mercia’s chamber and switches out his goblet gift with her identical but poisoned one.

Meanwhile Arthur takes great glee in informing Merlin that he has to wear the official ceremonial robes of the servants of Camelot to the upcoming feast.

Behold the hat!

The treaty is signed and Merlin is there with Gwen. Nimueh catches Merlin’s eye and Gwen remarks that she’s pretty and apparently Merlin agrees a little too enthusiastically and Gwen gets pissy and huffs away.

The King of Mercia presents Uther and Arthur with some nifty, elaborate silver chalices to seal their friendship and all that jazz and Cara/Nimueh calls Merlin out of the Great Hall to tearfully tell him that her master has poisoned Arthur’s cup.

Merlin runs in, takes the cup away from Arthur, announces that the goblet is poisoned and everybody draws a blade. Including Morgana which is frankly…pretty hot. (Whatever. I find her attractive. Sue me. And my sister is wrong. Katie McGrath is not hotter as a blonde.)

There’s a whole lot of HOW VERY DARE THIS SERVANT BLAH BLAH BLAH  and the take away is that Merlin has to drink the wine and prove whether or not it’s poisoned. Arthur does very sweetly try to protect Merlin by suggesting that his drunk, then offers to drink it himself. Merlin won’t let him and after some super dramatic music and a moment of thinking everything is cool Merlin starts to choke, falls to the ground and passes out.

Arthur carries Merlin to Gaius’ chambers and Gwen grabs the chalice for poison identification purposes. Gaius pretty quickly discovers the flower petal (the one that looked like plastic) and identifies it. He tells Arthur and Gwen that the only chance is making an antidote with a lead of the same flower that poisoned him – the aptly named Mortius flower.

He tells Arthur where to find the flower and that it’s guarded by a cockatrice (a super deadly dinosaur looking thing) and Arthur suits up while Nimueh rides on out of Camelot. Uther forbids Arthur from going after the cure saying Arthur’s life is worth more than a serving boy’s. He’s a total asshat. Arthur (disappointingly) goes to his room to pout and Morgana goads him into disobeying the king and saving Merlin. So Arthur rides out in the dead of night to search for the Mortius flower.

Meanwhile Merlin starts speaking Welsh aka magic and Gaius discovers that the poison’s potency was increased with the use of magic and suddenly all the pieces click and he realizes that Cara was Nimueh. Apparently turbans are the most effective of disguises.

Uther has a hissy fit when he discovers that Arthur is gone and is discussing it in his chamber with Morgana. The vibe here is definitely *not* of  ward and guardian – they’re arguing more like a married couple who’s having a disagreement about their teenager.

Meanwhile, Arthur makes it to the cave, handily dispatches the cockatrice and runs into Nimueh who’s doing some really bad fake crying and Arthur is all, Yeah, I’ll help you. But you’re gonna have to wait until I help my buddy. So she offers to lead him through the cave to find the flower. He, being Arthur, doesn’t question that she knows what he’s looking for. He just blindly follows her in.

He figures out pretty quickly that she’s up to no good when she casts a spell and disintegrates the rock he was standing on forcing him to leap to this ledge and hang on with his fingertips.  She says it’s not his destiny to die at her hand. Which is frankly bullshit. Because if you destroy the rock ledge that someone is standing on and he falls to his death that death is by your hand, bitch.

She takes off and leaves him to dangle knowing that HUGE HORRIBLE SPIDERS ARE COMING.

He fights them off and just as he’s being overwhelmed by the hairy bastards, a glowing orb appears. He thinks that it’s there to attack him, but he quickly figures out that it’s there to help him. Merlin and Arthur are connected even though Merlin is unconscious and Gaius notices that Merlin is holding an orb in his hand.

Arthur manages to get the flower, make his way out of the cave and ride back to Camelot.

As soon as he hits the drawbridge, he’s arrested.
And thrown in the dungeon.
And suddenly…I have the nearly irrepressible urge to write fan fic. It just suddenly…came over me.

Uther comes down to see Arthur to bitch him out for disobeying. Arthur begs him to give the Mortius flower to Gaius to cure Merlin, but Uther, in a fit of epic dickishness, crushes the flower and leaves it on the floor of the dungeon.

Arthur rescues the flower and sneaks it to Gwen when she comes down to bring him food. She races back to Gaius who concocts the fastest acting antidote in the history of ever. He sends Gwen on an errand and uses the forbidden magic in order to save Merlin. Gwen comes back, Merlin wakes up and she kisses him.

I can’t say all the things I want to say right here because of spoilers. And hooboy, it is super hard to keep my mouth shut. But know this, dear readers. I am *not* happy. I will say it’s not because I ship Arthur and Gwen. It doesn’t have anything to do with the source material even. But know that someday soon, I will go off on a tear about this.

Gaius convinces Uther to release the Mercians reveals that Nimueh is behind all this. Gaius asks Merlin if Arthur should be told the truth about Nimueh (and the plot thickens!) Uther and Arthur do a little wrap up on top of the battlements and discuss the mysterious woman in the forest and Uther misses a perfectly good opportunity to come clean with his kid but instead preaches against the evil of magic. But Uther does admit that Arthur did the right thing and that he’s proud of him – so parenting points there.

Arthur goes to visit Merlin under the guise of making sure that he’s coming back to work because good servants are hard to find. And there’s some lovely Merthurness there.

Cut to Nimueh looking furious.

 Okay…now on to the questions!
1.    If I’d written this episode, I would have changed… I would have given Nimueh a bit more of a disguise.
 2.    The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. Really not digging the flirty relationship vibes between Merlin and Gwen, but I can’t spoiler that. However, I’ll bitch about it in depth later. Loved that Arthur doesn’t doubt that his servant’s life is as important as his. Yes, he’s an ass to Merlin sometimes, but when it counts, he’s there for him. 
3.    Something you’ve never noticed about this episode before.  The first time I saw this episode, I didn’t notice Morgana grabbing the knife at the feast and looking ready to throw down.

4.    Favorite Costume. Someday…I’m gonna make this dress. And the headpiece. This is happening. 

5.    Here is Proof of some random head canon I’ve created. Okay look. This first season is rife with sexual tension between Uther and Morgana. I think that they have a thing going on. Or at the very least, they want to. I also think Morgana might have some Daddy Issues. Honestly, since the writers were tossing out so many of the traditional story elements, I wish they just would have gone ahead and made Morgana Uther’s queen. That would have been spectacular conflict! But noooooo… Oh right, my flimsy proof is the conversation they have about Arthur.

6.    What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? Merlin moaning Arthur’s name while he was all sweaty in bed. .Yes, he was sick, but I’m betting Jess closed her eyes and had other thoughts. 

7.   What made Jen lose her shit (in a good or bad way) in this episode? The tone of the conversation between Uther and Morgana after Arthur disobeyed and took off. It’s not at all ward and guardian-like. 


This week, the lovely Jess Jarman and I are blogging about three things we’d like to learn how to do. And, I’m excited to say that the equally lovely, Leigh Jones will be joining us. You can read Jess’ post here and Leigh’s post here. And welcome to the random Wednesday blogs, Leigh! We’re glad you’re here!
I resist change like you wouldn’t believe. New version of Word? Nope. I’ll stick with my Word 2007, thanks. New phone? Nah…I’m good. This one still works. Mostly. Switching cable companies? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…I’ll have to learn new channels and a whole. new. remote.
However, (and very strangely, I might add) I like having learned. And I really don’t mind learning things that have nothing to do with technology. Well, I’ll admit, I resisted circular knitting needles *for years*, but I just recently mastered them and they’re totally easy to use. But circular needles aside, I typically like learning new things. 
Here are a few things I’d like to learn how to do in the relatively near future. 
I’d like to actually learn how to read a knitting pattern and make things like this. (Spoiler alert: This pattern will not make any of the things shown below.) Actually, these are sweaters that my mom made for me. Because she’s awesome.

I’d like to learn how to grow my own vegetables. And maybe some fruits, too. After spending many summers on both grandparents farms, I feel like I have a handle on picking fruits and veggies (strawberries, beans, blackberries, black and red raspberries, cucumbers, tomatoes, potatoes, corn and allllll the squashes) but other than vague ideas, I’m really not sure how to grow my own. That’s gonna change this summer. This girl is planting a pesticide and GMO-free container garden!


I’d also like to learn to reupholster my own furniture. You see, I like old things. And I like cats.
These two things don’t always go well together. As evidenced by my beautiful, but shredded antique rocker. My cats are kind of bastards.
So those are some of the things I’d like to learn to do. What about you guys? What do you want to learn to do?
 


It’s time for another installment of Merlin Club! You can see Jess’ take on it here. And Jen’s here
This episode opens in a cave with Nimueh, an attractive young sorceress with brilliant blue eyes (and a bad crimp job) is standing in front of what looks like a Baptismal font making a homely little clay fetus of some sort. 

Then she puts it in a large egg, casts a spell over it in Welsh and the egg begins to pulse and glow with life. Then she flushes it down the Baptismal font and it shoots through the ground water system like it’s a pod in one of those vacuum tubes at the bank and ends up in a cistern under Camelot. It starts to crack open and Nimueh finishes her spell. 

In the next scene we see Merlin and Gaius checking out a dead body laying in the middle of an alley in Camelot. The corpse is all gray with black veins. They load the dude up in a wheelbarrow that they just “borrow” from some poor peasant’s place and my kid chooses this point to look at the screen and immediately starts calling, “Bring out your dead.” And the other one hollers from the other room, “I’m not dead yet.” And chaos descends upon my house as the rest of the scene is reenacted because that’s what happens when you let your children watch Monty Python during their formative years. 
Back to Merlin. After Gwen gives her father his lunch for the day, she runs into Merlin and flirts with him a bit, gives him a flower and goes on her merry way to Morgana’s chambers where we see again that Morgana is actually good friends with her chamber maid. Merlin and Gaius study the corpse they brought home with them and Arthur summons them both to the King. And we see the opposite of Morgana and Gwen’s relationship in Arthur’s interaction with Merlin. Arthur is incredibly hot, but he’s kind of an asshat for 88% of the first season.
There’s another gray veiny body in Uther’s room where he does king things. (I can’t think of what that room is called because I’m mostly frozen and I cannot brain.) Gaius suggests that it’s SORCERY and Uther sends Arthur out on a door to door search through the town to root out the evil sorcerer. Merlin and Gaius head out, too and Merlin stumbles across a dying man and wants to use magic to cure him, but Gaius is all NO! SCIENCE! 
Gaius has mad autopsy skills and is able to test the contents of the first victim’s stomach. Meanwhile, Arthur and his knights bust in and start searching the room for evidence of magic. Arthur goes into Merlin’s room and calls Merlin in there. There’s some concern on the part of Gaius and Merlin because Merlin doesn’t pick up shit and they both know his spell book is likely lying around. Arthur goes into Merlin’s room and calls him in there, saying “Look what I found.” Spoiler alert – it was a cupboard to put away his shit. Not the magic book. But you know, moment of tension. Merlin and Gaius argue some more about Merlin wanting to use magic to cure people. 
Arthur tells Uther that he hasn’t found anything to identify any sorcerers. Merlin and Gaius figure out that the disease is water-bourn. Gwen wakes her father and discovers he has the sickness. Merlin demands to be allowed to heal Gwen’s dad. Gaius predictably says no. Merlin sneaks out that night and places a little poultice thingy under Gwen’s dad’s pillow and poof he’s healed. 

Hearing about the miracle the next morning, Arthur and his nights come to investigate and it’s determined that Gwen used magic to heal her father since she was the only one there with him. Gwen is arrested and thrown into the dungeon because she’s clearly the sorcerer that’s causing all the trouble.
Side note: Arthur is particularly hot in this episode. 
Anyhoo Uther sentences Gwen to death by fire and Morgana argues with him about it. And Arthur defends Gwen, too. It goes nowhere, because, well, you know how Uther is about magic. Gaius gets his angry face on with Merlin about healing Gwen’s father and Merlin figures out that yeah, that was a bad move. But here’s what I don’t get. WHY would Merlin leave the damn thing under Gwen’s father’s pillow. He knows they’re searching the town for magic-y things. Bad move, wizard boy. 
So now Gwen is in the dungeon, Merlin is vowing to save her. Merlin goes to Uther’s king type room where he’s doing king type things with his council members and confesses to being the sorcerer. There’s a pregnant pause and everyone laughs. Arthur immediately jumps into action to protect Merlin and explains that Merlin is in love with Gwen and also mentally ill. Of course, everyone believes him. So Merlin is left to figure something out.
Merlin and Gaius go on an adventure to find out what’s contaminating the water. They discover an Afanc – the clay creature who’s not a fetus anymore. It’s big and ugly and plague-y. Merlin goes to the dragon to get advice and gets riddles instead because the dragon gets off on being cryptic. But he hints that Merlin and Arthur must work together and use the elements. 
Gwen’s execution is moved forward because a ton of people are dying. Morgana gets Arthur to help with some well placed snark and they go with Merlin down to the water supply to search for the Afanc. Happily, they have torches and when the creature attacks Merlin uses his magic to suck some wind down into the tunnel and increase the flames to destroy the Afanc. Nimueh has a tantrum. 
After the Afanc’s destruction, people start getting better. Gaius brings Uther the Afanc’s broken egg and points out that it bears the mark of Nimueh. Uther flips shit. Merlin and Morgana go down to the dungeon to release Gwen. And Morgana tells him that she knows his secret. He of course thinks she’s talking magic. But she’s talking Gwen. 
The episode closes with Merlin and Gaius eating a ridiculous amount of food for two people and Nimueh deciding that she’s going to take Merlin down. Cue tense music for next week’s episode.
 Okay…now on to the questions!
1.    If I’d written this episode, I would have changed… Honestly? This is so petty, but I would have taken the crimper away from the hair stylist.  I can’t take a villain seriously who employs crimping as a style choice.

2.    The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. The thing I hated was the love/hate flirtyesque banter between Morgana and Arthur because of later revelations. The thing I loved was how Arthur defended Gwen to his father and gave some thought to his own future as the King of Camelot.

3.    Something you’ve never noticed about this episode before.  The first time I saw this episode, I didn’t notice that the poultice was still all glowy when the knight picked it up from Gwen’s father’s bed.

4.    Favorite Costume. I’m gonna go with Arthur’s casual prince wear – long leather coat, breeches, boots…le sigh.

5.    Here is Proof of some random head canon I’ve created. Yeah…I know. I’m lame. I still have nothing. :/

6.    What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? The lovely meaningful look shared by Merlin and Arthur when Arthur tried to protect Merlin by convincing everyone that Merlin is all kinds of crazypants. 
7.   What made Jen lose her shit (in a good or bad way) in this episode? I’m gonna guess it was when Merlin uses magic to save Gwen’s father but can’t be arsed to take care of the evidence.


This week, Jess Jarman and I are blogging about our favorite apps. Jess’ post is here. Check out here addictions.
Oh, so many apps, but I’ll try to narrow it down to my absolute favorites. These aren’t really in any particular order, but I use them all daily. 
Shop Shop – Okay, so this is a glorified shopping list – however, it keeps my brain straight. In my family, if there’s something that you need me to pick up from the store, you’d best go to my phone and enter it in the Shop Shop app, otherwise, mama’s not getting it. 
However, having your shopping list on your phone can cause some issues. Once I was shopping and I was being one of those annoying people who talks on their phone in the store. Well, I was pushing my cart and chatting and I started looking all over for my list. My list that was on my phone. As I frantically digging through my purse, I said to my friend, “Shit! I can’t find my phone!” Friend, also clearly not thinking says, “Oh my gosh! When did you have it last?” It took us both almost another thirty seconds to realize that I was holding it. Up to my ear. 
Yeah…so there’s that. This is my current list. As you can see, Killian would really like me to buy some bacon.

Nature Sound – This is one I primarily use on my iPad at night. It’s an app that has over a hundred different nature and white noise sounds. It’s also got a soundboard where you can mix sounds. I *need* white noise in order to fall asleep. It’s usually a mix of rain, thunder and crackling fire. This app is amazing and I love it. Yeah, it’s simple, but dude, I love to sleep, and this helps me do that.

Words With Friends – Yeah…okay. It’s glorified Scrabble, but I love it. It’s relaxing and a lovely way to start my morning while I’m waiting for hubs to get out of the shower. 
Kindle – I. Love. My. Kindle. App. LOVE IT. I have hundreds of books on there. I can read whatever I’m in the mood for whenever I want. Okay, that’s a lie. I can’t read while I’m driving. And it’s a terrible idea for me to read while I’m cooking because bad food things happen to supper. 
Dropbox – This is especially handy for sending photos from my phone to my computer. It makes my life so much easier. 
 
Pinterest – I adore Pinterest – it’s great stress relief for me to look at pretty places and things. Sometimes I need a little stress relief while I’m waiting in the never ending car pool lane, so it’s great to have this on my phone and iPad. 
Tumblr – See above. 

Facebook – Also see above. Seriously…I hate being bored. 

Twitter – I like to be able to connect even if I’m not home. 
Interval Timer Seconds – It’s a fabulous tabata timer for exercising. God knows *I* can’t count, so I rely on my phone to do it for me. 
T-Zero – I’m a huge fan of countdowns. I love them. T-Zero is fabulous little countdown timer that counts days, months, hours, minutes and seconds. For instance, according to T-Zero, in 136 Days: 11 Hours: 52 Minutes and 12 Seconds I’ll be at the best writers retreat on the planet. 
 So…what are your favorite apps? Which ones do you use everyday.