Bronwyn Green

Of Anime, Water Aerobics and Roofing

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April 13, 2011

So…yeah. It’s been a long freaking couple of weeks. Last week was spring break which involved a 27 hour marathon of Full Metal Alchemist – an anime series my kids love. Killian and his friend Justin watched three seasons and a movie while Justin spent the weekend with us.

Corwin had his obnoxious friends over and I nearly lost my mind. Gray and Duncan are nice kids, but zOMG soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo annoying. High pitched screeching, an inability to choose to stay inside or go out and constant talking. They make Corwin look quiet. (no small feat)

I also started a water aerobics class at the Y with Brynn that I just LOVE. It’s actually fun. I hate exercising mostly because I hate to sweat. Also, to be honest, I’m pretty lazy. But this is fun. It’s like playtime…well, not those ridiculous ab crunches, but the rest of it is a blast. I love it. Of course, it totally kicked my ass the first two or three days, but I’m getting the hang of it. The downsize is that with travel time, it cuts several hours out of my day, so I’m just trying to work faster when I am working.

And we’re getting a new roof. A completely new roof. Once the roofers got up there to reshingle, they discovered that the decking and a lot of the trusses were rotted. Sigh. I know it comes with owning a house built in the 20s, but damn! That was an extra 4K I wasn’t planning on.

The noise has been deafening. Music and headphones help a little, but mostly it sounds like rhythmless Irish Step Dancing. Yesterday, they worked from 8am to 8pm. For about the last half an hour, the neighbor’s three pit bulls howled the entire time and then their car alarm went off…and off…and off…while they were home. I think that maybe they’re trying to get me back for the roofing noises.

On the plus side, I finished a book last week. Now, I have to do a ton of editing and finish a short that I need to sub by the end of the month. You know, if I don’t lose my mind from all the noise, first.

The Lesser of Two Evils

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April 7, 2011

Over at Writer’s Evolution, we’ve been talking about the best reactions that we’ve ever gotten when people find out exactly what we write. Mine is the story of how my job became the lesser of two evils. I hope you’ll stop by. 🙂

The Post Where Bron is Annoyed by a Paranormal TV Show.

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April 1, 2011

I’ve seen Ghost Hunters once or twice and honestly, it doesn’t really do anything for me. It’s not that I don’t believe in ghosts, because I do. I’ve had too many freaky things happen that couldn’t be explained any other way.

So anyway, I watched the latest episode of Ghost Hunters the other night because they were investigating the Mission Point Resort on Mackinac Island. Having just been there last spring on the Field Trip of Doom with Corwin’s class, I decided to tune in.

Okay, first off, I think if you’re a professional ghost hunter trying to make contact with the other side, you should probably stay away from lying to ghosts. Telling a spirit that committed suicide over his girlfriend that his girlfriend is there and wants to talk to him is a super shitty thing to do.

Telling a little girl ghost that you have candy for her if she’ll come out and talk to you is also super shitty. Who does that?

However, I’m even more appalled by a back lack of history and simple research. In fact, I had what’s known in our family as “The Caitlin History Rage.” This happens on a fairly regular basis when tv, movies or books eschew historical accuracy for the sake of a storyline. I won’t even tell you what it was like around here when the DaVinci Code was at the height of its popularity. Suffice to say, it was ugly.

So, back to the Ghost Hunters, show. Apparently guests at the resort reported seeing a figure in long black robes. People had supposed that maybe he was a judge. At the end of the show when they were doing their post game wrap up with the guy that runs the resort, they said that they think it’s unlikely that the ghost was a judge. They supposed that since the Mission Point Resort was also a college at one time, that the perhaps the black robed figure they saw was a professor.

Seriously? A professor? According to their “research” the college was open in the late 1960s. Guess what friend, college professors in the United States didn’t wear robes in the late 60s. Tweed jackets with suede elbow patches? You bet. Long black robes? Not a chance.

But you know who did wear long black robes? Jesuit priests. You know…the ones who founded missionaries all over Michigan–especially in the U.P. In fact, the Iraquois dubbed them “Black Robes.”

I bet if the Ghost Hunter actually had done research, they would have discovered that. Seriously…I’m not taking major research – this is Wikipedia level stuff, people. And the name Mission Point Resort? Gee, I bet that area was founded by missionaries and the name stuck. In fact, very near to Mission Point Resort is a statue of Father Marquette. Now, I’m not implying that the ghost of Father Marquette is wandering around the resort, but he wasn’t the only black robed missionary on the island. The Jesuit priests continued to live among the native populace for years after Marquette’s death in the 1670s.

I’m not even saying this should be common knowledge, but for fuck’s sake, people. If you say you’ve done research – actually do it.

The things I do for research…

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March 31, 2011

We’ve been talking about research over at the Writer’s Ev olution Blog. Stop by to see the things I’ve done in the name of research. I’ll give you a hint…they have pointy little teeth.

The Post Where Bronwyn Bitches (Yes. Again.)

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March 28, 2011

Okay, so I’m going to go a little Ranty McRantyPants over here. You may remember Mitchell of Riding in Cars with Boys fame.

Well, Mitchell, being Mitchell, is flunking out of English. He hates it because he has to struggle so hard with it. After fighting to read even simple sentences, he tunes everything out. Needless to say, if he doesn’t pass, he can’t graduate next year with his class.

Mitchell’s mom asked if I would help tutor him because she’s at her wits end. Like a lot (dare I say most) families, they can’t afford a private tutor and thanks to budgetary cuts, there are none available at the school. I agreed. I like Mitchell and the thought of him not graduating with his class breaks my heart. I also keep hoping that maybe together we can make something click and he might grow to like English or maybe at least like reading, a little.

So I emailed the teacher and received an immediate response about how glad he was that I was going to be helping Mitchell and how he’d give me all the support and assistance I’d need. I couldn’t believe this was the same guy who hadn’t ever responded to Mitchell’s mother all last term.

Well, guess who hasn’t responded to my last three effing emails.

Really, really unimpressed.

Oh yeah, and there’s a paper due Wednesday.

Jerk.

How to recognize when your sister’s been watching too much Supernatural.

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March 24, 2011

To explain how I know Cait’s been watching too much Supernatural, I have to share some back story.On my way out to pick up the kids from school on Tuesday, my faithful car, Squishy, started shuddering and shaking. It just kept getting worse and worse. So I drove it to the auto repair shop to discover that the idiot (at a different shop) who’d last rotated my tires didn’t bother to tighten the lug nuts on my right front tire. Apparently, I was another half mile away from having my tire fly off on the expressway.

So when I got home, I texted my sister to bitch about it…like you do (like I do, anyway).

This is conversation that took place.

THIS is how I know she’s been watching an inordinate amount of Supernatural, lately.

But I’m okay with that.

Nifty News

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March 23, 2011

Today is an awesome day…well, you know, other than the ice storm, the screaming headache and the kid who won’t stop playing the drum and bass remix of Tie Me Kangaroo Down.

If you don’t recall the original, be very, very grateful. If you do, and haven’t heard the remix, be equally grateful. If you’ve heard both, I have nothing for you. Except maybe earplugs. And also pity.

Currently, there’s a lot of self pity here. I just made the kid put on headphones, but the damn song is stuck in my head already.

But enough bitching and on to the awesome. Today, my first ever published book is being re-released by Resplendence Publishing with a gorgeous new cover and far better title – Overlord’s Chosen. There are also some added scenes. Even better, the next one in this series is coming out next month! So, for those of you who have been waiting for Asher’s story, only a little bit longer…

Why I shouldn’t try new things.

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March 17, 2011

First off, Happy St. Patrick’s Day! I’ve got lovely ceilidh music playing while I work and a lovely Guinness Beef Stew bubbling away in the crockpot.

After yesterday’s debacle of a supper, my family is beyond thrilled that I’m making stew for supper tonight. In a fit of misguided optimism, and bored with my regular chicken recipes, I tried something new. I’m going to go on record as saying this was indeed the worst thing I’ve ever made. We’re talking straight up terribad.

In my defense, it sounded like it had potential – sort of an orange chicken dish – or so I thought. It ended up being a dish of pain and suffering, my friends. Pain and suffering lovingly prepared in my crockpot.

My family, bless their hearts, choked it down. And Corwin said, “Mama, I’m giving you an A for effort, but an F for BLERGH!”

It was a fair assessment.

Matt patted my shoulder and said, “You tried.”

Killian gave Herne some chicken. Herne threw it up. That’s how bad this was. The cat threw up the chicken. On my floor. In front of me. Then looked at me accusingly. Nobody made you eat it, cat.

But tonight will be different. Tonight I won’t try anything new. I’ll make the yummy beef stew that Brynn taught me to make. And no one will vomit it up on the floor in front of me.

Oh and speaking of vomit, I blogged over at Evo about words I hate coming across in romances.

New Misread and Weird Dream

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March 12, 2011

I had a weird dream this morning. I dreamt that there were writer loan sharks.

Apparently, when you get an idea about a book and you don’t use it or even write it fast enough they come and find you and hit you in the head until the idea falls out and they take it back. It was very traumatic.

Evidently, I’m having anxiety about the stories I’m working on.

And then there’s my kid. Corwin apparently suffers from the same misread malady that I do. We were driving to school yesterday and all of a sudden I hear from the backseat, “Inferno parlor! WTF?” And then a minute later, “Oh…funeral parlor.”

Yep. That’s my kid. Made him myself.

One of those days

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March 8, 2011

It’s been one of those days already and it’s not even 11 am yet.

After I dropped the kids off to school I went to fedex and shipping my effing computer back to be fixed again. For those of you keeping track at home, this is the second time it’s been in for repairs since getting it in October.

I. Am. Not. Pleased.

Killian’s convinced that I’ve angered the Computer Gods because I’m not using it for its intended purpose which is gaming. I’ve decided that when it comes back from being fixed, it can be hubby’s (he’ll use it for its intended purpose) and I’m getting something else. I’m so done with this BS. For the record, hubby heartily approves of this idea.

I’m now sitting at Barnes and Noble waiting for my freaking car to be fixed. Incidentally, Barnes and Noble Starbucks has way better food than my local Starbucks. While I’m enjoying my spinach and feta stuffed pretzel, I’m sad because it’s unlikely I’ll get another one anytime soon. I’m allergic to the mall. Any mall, really. I hate shopping unless it’s online or at a Ren or street fair. Soooooo not a mall kid.

My car decided to blow it’s windshield wiper transmission. You didn’t realize there was such a thing? Me either. On my car, it costs 382.55 to fix.

However, I met the coolest guy today. He drove me from the car place to the mall where I could have coffee. We were talking, cleverly enough, about coffee. He told me he’s looking for a two pot coffee maker for his wife, so I told him about the one I got from Meijer.

Guy: My wife is the most amazing woman on the earth – no offense to you, of course – you seem lovely. But she doesn’t ask for much, and since she likes coffee and I don’t, I thought I’d surprise her.

Me: None taken, and I have to say I think it’s wonderful that you want to do something so sweet for your wife.

Guy: My wife is four years and four days younger than me. When I was ten and she was six, I pointed at her, and I told my mom, “That’s the girl I’m gonna marry.” We’ve been married for fifty years this year and I feel the same way about her today that I felt about her then. I look forward to going home to her at the end of every day.

Me: Your wife is a really lucky woman.

Guy: Nah…I’m the lucky one.

Needless to say, I got teary and had to forcibly resist the urge to hug this guy.

At the end of the day, windshield wiper transmissions and malfunctioning computers aren’t that big a deal. Being with the people you love is. So hug your peeps when you see them next. I will, too.