Person A: “I thought I’d made it clear we have a no abduction policy.”
Person B: “She wasn’t cooperating. What did you expect me to do?”
Welp…this was a surprise… But hey, these writing exercises are meant to get us thinking outside the box. This is way outside.
Izzy stared open-mouthed at the struggling, fabric-swaddled bundle Samantha had hoisted over her shoulder. “I thought I’d made it clear we have a no abduction policy.”
Samantha shrugged as well as she could while still carrying what looked like a large dufflebag full of angry octogenarian. “She wasn’t cooperating. What did you expect me to do?”
Sam was going to be the death of her. Izzy’s father always insisted that she’d die in a lab accident. But she knew better. Sooner or later, Sam was going to give her a goddamn aneurysm. “I didn’t expect you to resort to breaking the law and kidnapping an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, you fuckwit.”
A muffled-sounding, “Language!” came from the bag.
Izzy sighed. “Well, get her out of there before she suffocates. The last thing we need is kidnapping and manslaughter charges.”
“Murder,” the bag’s occupant snapped.
“Murder,” Izzy agreed with a sigh as Samantha slowly lowered the duffelbag to the floor.
Dropping to her knees, Samantha untied the drawstring then stood and tugged the bag off her victim. And there stood all five feet of Ruth Bader Ginsburg in all her Harvard educated glory.
“Seriously, Sam? She’s still in her robes.”
Ginsburg adjusted her glasses which were slightly askew and brushed both real and imaginary lint off the black fabric. “Of course, I’m still in my robes. This one,” she gestured toward Samantha, “accosted me in the bathroom. Now, what is it you two want?”
Izzy sighed and gestured to the table and chairs in the conference area outside the lab. “Would you care for some coffee?”
“As long as it isn’t laced with arsenic, I suppose.” Ginsburg perched on one of the molded plastic chairs and smoothed a few loose hairs back into place then accepted the cup of coffee Izzy offered her.
“Now, back to the question at hand, what’s so important that you felt the need,” she turned to glare at Samantha, “to abduct me?”
Nerves in a tangle, Izzy set down her cup. “It’s about Trump.”
The older woman snorted. “I don’t know what you think I can possibly do about him. I have no control over the election.”
Samantha sat across from Ginsburg and leaned forward excitedly. “But what if it were possible to give you that control.”
The Justice frowned. “What on earth are you talking about?”
Izzy spared a glance at Sam then looked back at Ginsberg.”We’ve made an amazing break-through with some technology we think has the potential to change the upcoming election.”
“In what way?”
“What would you say if I told you that by using our newly developed brain scan, we can project your thoughts and belief systems into another mind. That we have the capability of changing dangerous, harmful thought patterns. That we can turn hatred to compassion.”Izzy took a deep breath. “We can eradicate Trump’s racism, misogyny and xenophobic rhetoric and replace it with acceptance and equality.”
“And you’re telling me this why?”
“We need your brain,” Sam blurted.
“Not your brain! Just a scan of your brain,” Izzy corrected.
Ginsburg raised an eyebrow. “Go on.”
Twisting her hands in her lap, Izzy fought the urge to bolt. They’d kidnapped a Supreme Court Justice, for fuck’s sake. “Trump is a nightmare.”
“Agreed,” Ginsburg said, taking a sip of her coffee.
“Our thought was that if he gets the GOP nomination, we project the scan of your brain into his. It won’t hurt you. Or him. We’ve done it ourselves.”
“Yeah,” Sam muttered. “I was a vegan, lesbian, Ani DiFranco groupie for almost four months.”She smiled brightly. “As it turns out, I’m not quite as straight as I thought I was, but the more important thing here is that cheese and I are back together, again.”
“The point is, it’s not permanent, no one was harmed, and with this technology, we’ll be able to prevent the sort of Trump presidency that’s looming closer every day.” Izzy cleared her throat. “With your thought patterns and core beliefs superimposed over his, he’ll be prochoice, pro-equality, pro-imigration and liberal as fuck.”
Ginsburg gave up all pretence of drinking her coffee and folded her hands on the table. “I’m listening.”
“When the presidential debates start, a huge portion of his supporters will jump ship. They either won’t vote at all, or they’ll pick the democratic candidate as the lesser of two evils,” Izzy said.
“Or vote libertarian,” Sam added. “Either way, it’s a win for us.”
“And if Trump manages to make it into office?” Ginsburg asked.
“Whenever the effects start to wear off, we just give him another dose.”
“You both realize this is not only illegal…or, it should be. It’s also immoral. And unethical.
Izzy nodded. “We know. If there were another way…”
“So,” Sam said, “you in?”
Ginsburg fixed them both with a level stare. “I’m in.”
That’s all from me, today. Go check out the other bloggers’ writing prompts and see what they came up with.
13 thoughts on “Promptly Penned: No Abduction Policy”
RBG is a badass, I love her. If wishing made it so, we actually do this in a heartbeat. A happy ending for all! Love it!
She is! And damn, I wish this were actually an option!
OMG. I did NOT see that coming until the word Trump. Too damn funny. And there’s always Canada. No seriously…. there’s always Canada.
I feel like Canada may soon have a surplus of residents. And also yay for surprising you!
Yes. This is the best!
😀 I’m glad you liked it!
I actually snorted when it was revealed who’d been kidnapped. LOVE THIS SO HARD. My crazy conservative husband is actually watching a bunch of Republican interviews right now, so it made it funnier. I bow to the queen of awesome.
Thanks! And perfect timing for reading! 😀
first of all I wanted to say how much I love your blog.
This time I just had to comment.
This little piece was just too good and how much I wished this was possible.
You are awesome!
(PS: Originally my comment was longer but it turned into a political rant, so I decided to shorten it to the important things. xD)
Hey Nellie! Thank you so much for commenting – I’m never sure who’s out there reading, so it’s always great to hear that someone is. 🙂 And I’m so glad you enjoyed it! I do wish that tech were possible. I don’t think I’ve ever been more afraid to be a citizen of this country than I am right now. :/ But any time you’re reading and you feel a rant coming on, feel free to post it. There’s always room for discussion, here. 🙂
Thank you for the quick reply. =)
Just so you know, I’ve been reading your blog for two or three years now and I have to say, I’m a little jealous. Your family is just great (especially your kids and your sister) and you are so talented. *sigh*
I’ve got more fantasy than anyone would need, but I can’t write it down. So I highly admire what you can do.
You are awesome.
And as you so kindly permitted it, here is my political rant 😉
It’s funny how much more I’m concerned about your election then ours (Germany).
I think people underestimate the danger Donald Trump poses to the US… and the rest of the world.
Sure, we all laugh about him but he could really win and that makes me sick to the stomach.
This man is a racist, egotistical, petty and power- hungry megalomaniac.
I don’t want this man to be in charge of military forces and nuclear weapons.
Especially since congress just objects to collaboration with foreign countries but doesn’t really care if the president uses massive forces and starts a war.
So you could say I’m concerned.
Wow, sorry for this and thank you for letting me rant. ^^
Have a nice day/ evening =)
(PS: Sorry for any misspelling and grammar errors.)
Thank you so much! I honestly think I’m the luckiest person ever when it comes to my family. They make me super happy. I don’t blog about my husband or brothers as much, but they’re awesome, too. 🙂
I think you’re absolutely right about people underestimating the danger Trump poses to the world. I admit, I thought it was a publicity stunt, at first. But, he’s long surpassed the point of utterly terrifying. So have the other Republican hopefuls. They’re just slightly quieter about it. The whole situation feels like the beginning of a dystopian novel. 🙁 And I don’t blame you for being concerned. I feel like a lot of countries are watching this process with as much horror as many of US citizens are.
No apologies needed for the rant or the grammar and spelling. Honestly, if you hadn’t mentioned you were from Germany, I would have assumed you were a native English speaker. 🙂
I’m so glad you stopped by to chat and I’m glad, too, that you’re enjoying the blog. *hugs you*