Bronwyn Green

The Corner of Quirky & Kinky

Ohhhhhh, for the love of god…do the tournaments in Camelot never end?  Seriously…her a tournament, there a tournament, everywhere a tournament.  Sorry…I got carried away. This may already be obvious, but this isn’t one of my favorite episodes.

Any way, the show opens with Dudley Dursley – okay, fine, Gilli (but he’ll always be Dudley to me) is walking to Camelot with a sword strapped to his back. Two thugs, who just happen to be hanging out in the woods…like you do, taunt him and steal his sword.Angry and frustrated, Dudley continues on to Camelot anyway. Because there’s a tournament. Again. Another. Fucking. Tournament.

But anyway, it’s a no holds barred tournament, anyone can compete, no rules, blah blah medieval big time wrestling blah.

Morgana (knowing full well Uther is her father) flirts shamelessly with him and goads him into competing and honestly the whole conversation seems like one big euphamism for sex – sort of a a, well…if you can’t get it up…kinda thing.  And Uther, (knowing full well Morgana is his daughter) flirts back and allows himself to be goaded. It’s super gross. But, you know, Morgana is hoping Uther will die in combat because he can’t get it up anymore.

So now, the King and Prince of Camelot are competing and so is Dudley Dursley. What could possibly go wrong?

The thugs who stole Dudley’s sword are being aggressive toward Merlin and Dudley rescues him – using magic – oooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh. Merlin of course goes to tell Gaius all about it. Later after some ill timed magical healing, Dudders loses his magical ring as he’s running away and hiding from Camelot’s guard. Gaius finds the ring and pockets it before Uther sees it while investigating the suspected magic use.

Uther also cleverly decides that the scorched wood that he sees is proof positive that magic has been used. There you have it folks, charred wood is indicative of magic. So should you see charred wood anywhere in your travels, know that magic has indeed been used and persecute accordingly.

Anyway, Merlin returns the ring to Dudley and warns him to be careful. Dudley just whines about how he wants respect and he’s not gonna be a wuss like his father was – the person he inherited the magic ring from.

Episode trudges endlessly on with battle after battle. No…I mean endlessly. Dudley wins every match using magic, progresses up the ranks until he has the respect and adoration he’s always dreamed of. He even ends up killing one of the thugs. He’s getting totally out of control and decides that he’s going to go up against Uther and strike a blow for magic users everywhere.

Aaaaaaand he can do this because when Arthur fought Uther, he threw the fight so as not to embarrass the king. And Uther, per usual, is a total dick about it.

Long story short, Dudley almost has Uther, he’s ready to kill him, but Merlin gives Uther a little magical assistance because if Uther dies at the hands of a magic user, Arthur will never allow magic back into Camelot when he’s king – so says the dragon that Merlin called with his Dragon Lord voice that drop Jess’ panties in 1.5 seconds.

So Uther beats Dudley and lets him live. Morgana is frustrated and furious that neither her father nor brother died. (Thwarted again!) And Uther confesses that he knows that Arthur threw the fight and *that’s* the sign to Uther that Arthur will make a super awesome king. Oh, and Merlin has one last heart to heart with Dudders before he leaves Camelot for good.

Okay…now for the questions. 
 
1. If I’d written this episode…I would have made would have had Morgana coerce Uther into fighting using some method that didn’t involve overt flirting with her FATHER.
 
2. The thing I loved/hated most about this episode. 
 
Loved: Honestly, I can’t think of anything I genuinely loved about this episode. Okay, that’s a lie. I did rather enjoy watching Arthur and Uther go at it in the tournament field.

Hated: It’s possible that you might have missed this is the recap…and the answer to question one – after all, I was rather subtle. But…it’s the nasty,  flirty, incestuous vibe between Morgana and Uther . Also hated another tournament plot.


3. Something you’ve never noticed about this episode before. How Gwen was entirely absent.

4. Favorite Costume. Uther…in armor. 
 
5. Here is Proof of some random head canon I’ve created. I didn’t create it, but something is seriously NOT RIGHT between Uther and Morgana.

6. What Merthur moment did Jess have the naughtiest thoughts about? She likes the way Merlin watches Arthur battle. She also likes the way Merlin dresses Arthur for battle. She knows that Merlin gets hot and is grateful for his baggy peasant clothes. 


 
7. What made Jen lose her shit (in a good or bad way) in a bad way? Here…let me show you…


Jess’ take on the episode is here, and Jen’s is here.

0 thoughts on “Merlin Club: The Sorcerer’s Shadow or The One Where There’s Yet Another Fucking Tournament. Seriously, Camelot!? What the Hell with the Tournaments!?

  1. Jenny Trout says:

    You know me so well.

  2. Jess Jarman says:

    1.5 seconds? Really?

    Dude, try half that.

    😉

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