Bronwyn Green

Teh random. I has it. Again.

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November 3, 2010

Sooooooo, my brain has been whirling in a million different directions lately. There’s been upheaval at the day job and hubby’s been gone for nearly three freaking weeks! I know plenty of people who have to put up with spouses being away for way longer (I’m looking at two people in particular) but whiners gonna whine, so here I am…whining. But! He’s coming home Saturday – I can’t wait! 😀

In school weirdness, Corwin’s been working on Charles Darwin Project of Doom for weeks now. It’s been dubbed the CDPoD because it’s never freaking ending. He had to come up with 50 note cards all with facts to include in the term paper, and additional 15 note cards with different facts to use for his speech and Power Point presentation…which he needs to give in character and in costume. Frock coat and beard aside, the teacher informed them that she wants the paper to be a college level term paper. FWUH? These kids are in 7th grade! WTF?! Also, this project has been going on for over a month.

However, I did get a little giggle about the fact that he was assigned Charles Darwin as a topic. She confessed that all three seventh grade teachers met to assign the historical figures to the students, and they figured that we were the only family who wouldn’t be gravely offended for religious reasons if Corwin got Darwin. I just don’t even know what to do with that bit of info… Oh well, at least he got an A on the awful leaf project that gave us asthma attacks and gave me hives.

Trick or Treating was a great time. I continued my habit of giving extra candy to the older kids that are out trick or treating. I just think it’s great that they’re still out having fun. As it is they grow up way too fast and it always annoys me to hear neighbors tell them they’re too old for Halloween. I call bullshit! You’re never too old for Halloween. So I always tell them they’re getting extra candy and why. The expression on their faces is worth buying an extra bag of candy – particularly when Betty the Biddy has already reamed them out. Screw you, Betty!

The best conversation I had was with a four year old little boy. He was trick or treating with his older sister and I’d complemented her dress. He poked his round little face around the door and the conversation went like this:

Little Boy: What about me? You like me? You like my costume?

Me: I do. It’s great! I really like Dracula – he’s scary!

Little Boy: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I not Dracula!

Me: You’re not?

Little Boy: No! I Cra-chunkula!

Me: You’re who, now?

Little Boy: I said I Cra-chunkula!

Little Boy’s Dad: (finally taking pity on me) He’s Count Chocula.

Me: Ooooohhhhhh. I love Count Chocula. He’s way better than Dracula any day.

Little Boy: Yes I am!

God, I love Halloween! 😀

Look What We Did!

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October 30, 2010

Last night Killian, Corwin, Cait and I carved pumpkins and baked pumpkin seeds. Of course, Killian insisted making his seeds with bacon salt. Yeah…ewwww.

But anyway…these are our pumpkins. Corwin’s are the cute little demented faces, mine is the raven, Killian’s is the pirate and Cait’s is Maleficent – her favorite villain. Sadly Matt doesn’t have a pumpkin…’cause he’s still in Russia. 🙁

Seussical Nightmare

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October 27, 2010

Someone (I suspect Brynn Paulin) came up with the idea of telling one of our stories Dr. Seuss style over at the Writer’s Evolution blog. You can read my attempt, here. It’s my take on How the Grinch Stole Christmas and Mystic Circle.

Sorry, Dr. Seuss…blame Brynn.

BTW, if he decides to haunt me, I’ll point him in the right direction. 😉

What a freaking week…

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October 20, 2010

Well, I got some sad news regarding the day job on Monday, but I’m working on finding the positive.

Also on Monday (and Tuesday) I had two pukey children. And lots of running around to do.

And Matt left at the buttcrack of dawn for Singapore. Poor guy got delayed in Hong Kong for fifteen hours, though. Since he’s just coming off a shoulder surgery, this hasn’t been the most comfortable trip for him. But I got to talk to him this morning, so that was great! I know it’s only been two days, but, I miss the guy.

I was really stressed out yesterday afternoon, but when I got home, I was greeted by the most beautiful sight. My sister, singing along to ABBA, doing my damn dishes. I could have cried with gratitude. She did ALL of my dishes. I’m ashamed to say there were a ton. I did make her and my mom a lovely supper of Meow Loaf, though, and we all sat around and giggled.

Then, as if this wasn’t enough awesome wonderfulness, she came over early in the morning picked up the boys, brought them to school, then picked them up from school, brought them all treats and rocked out with them to Bohemian Rhapsody – Wayne’s World style.

Best.

Sister (and Aunt).

Ever.

An Open Letter to Microsoft

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October 17, 2010

Dear Microsoft,

In addition to being a writer, I’m also an editor. It’s a side job that I dearly love and keeps me incredibly busy. As a result, I use your products all the time. I recently got a lovely new laptop. it came with Word 2010.

I’ll admit, I was a little apprehensive. I don’t really like change, and I’m particularly uncomfortable with technological change, but I have a massive amount of work to do, so I dove right in.

The first issue I had (besides not being able to find a damn thing and having simple functions turned into multi-step processes of doom) was suddenly being unable to highlight text with my track pad and right click button. I had to do it old school with the shift and arrow keys. It was time consuming and annoying, but I managed.

However, this morning’s “glitch” pushed me over the edge. Yep. Microsoft, you made me cry. I woke up to work on the manuscript I’d spent 16 hours on yesterday, only to discover that 75 comments were missing. The line edits are still in there, but comments are gone, baby gone.

My husband has already spent several hours searching online and within the program trying to restore them, but no luck. This means I get to re-edit it. Again. I’d already lost stuff when I switched from 2007 to 2010. I’m enraged. I don’t have time for this shit. I’m switching back to 2007 as soon as humanly possible. Oh yeah, 2010’s Help Menu blows.

So, thanks Microsoft for making my job infinitely more complicated than necessary. Perhaps next time you release a product, you may want to consider testing it a might more thoroughly.

~BG

Can I Have a Do-Over, Please?

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October 11, 2010

Yesterday, I remembered that the boys needed haircuts before Corwin’s school picture today. So, I took them up to the shop, got them lovely haircuts and stopped by the store to pick up a few groceries and a new shirt for Corwin to wear.

I’ll be honest, the laundry is piled up as high as my elbow and I haven’t had time for more than a load of here or there. Considering that in an average week, I do at least seven loads, this a horrible backlog. So the new shirt was, while not a necessity, going to help me out quite a bit.

This morning, I woke up to discover that the one load of laundry I managed to do yesterday and the new shirt had fallen on the floor…probably helped along by a kitten or two. Trying to be as quiet as possible, because I have a house guest sleeping on my couch, I picked up the laundry, only to discover that one of the damn cats had peed on it. I suspect Merlin or Herne.

Stifling my rage as best I could, I told the kids to finish (quietly) getting ready for school, while I threw it down the laundry chute raced up to Meijer. Thankfully, they’re open twenty-four hours a day. I dashed into the store, found a new shirt, tried to check out, got charged twice the price marked, had to get someone to help me with a price adjustment, had to beg the guy to actually punch in his badge number to do the price adjustment after scanning his bade for the eighth time didn’t work, raced home, had Corwin put on the new shirt and still managed to pick up Justin and get to both schools on time. Corwin’s school picture had better turn out damn cute.

I need a nap. But instead, I’ll be doing laundry. Lots and lots of laundry.

Catching up…or at least, trying to.

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October 7, 2010

The last couple weeks have kicked my ass, and the end doesn’t seem to be anywhere in sight.

Between epic school projects of doom, hubby’s shoulder surgery and too many other things to name, I feel like I can’t get anything done. Like I’m just wandering blindly from one project to the next but never accomplishing enough to call myself finished. In short, I’ve become my mother – who I love and admire, but yeah…these aren’t necessarily the traits I’d like to emulate – lol.

But I do have some writing type news.

Maggie’s Mates is currently number three overall at ARe!!!!

I got a lovely review and a reviewers top pick for Moonlit Menage from Night Owl – the first review for that book, so I was especially thrilled that the reviewer enjoyed it so much. Waiting for that first review is always nerve wracking. But it’s here, if you’d like to read it.

And my last bit of news is that an expanded version of Solstice Seduction will be re-released in December, and it has a freaking gorgeous new cover! Aaaand all three Celtic Fire books will be released as a print antho (with this cover!!!) early next year!!!!

I’m super excited. Not that it wasn’t painfully apparent by my overabundant abuse of punctuation. 😉

The annoying and the cool

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October 1, 2010

Corwin, my youngest, has been assigned the leaf project of doom. Apparently, there are thirty-three trees that are indigenous to Michigan, and he has to find leaves from twenty-two of them. He and I spent last Sunday wandering around a local college campus, and we found most of them. We still have at least three leaves to track down, though.

This is the tree he insisted was watching me…

Last night, we sat at the kitchen table for hours, me helping him identify and him mounting the leaves and doing the write up on each one. Unfortunately, as a result of our leaf togetherness time, we both ended up with runny eyes and noses, sneezing and asthma attacks. After the doses of benedryl, singular and nebulizer treatments for both of us and hydrocortizone for my stupid hives, we’ve got fourteen leaves done and eight to go.

Nothing says togetherness like group allergy attacks. But we had fun. Particularly when the kittens tried to help… I’m not gonna lie. I’ll be glad when it’s done. The Charles Darwin project seems much less allergy inducing.

Today, my cousin and I were going through the drive-through at Starbucks, because I needed caffeine to face my day. It’s a quad shot kinda day. Anyway, we reached the window, and I tried to hand the cashier my card and she told me it was already paid for. I was slow on the uptake, so she had to explain it again. Apparently, the lady in front of me decided she was going to perform a random act of kindness and paid for our order!

I’ve heard of people doing things like that, but I’ve never had it happen. It was freaking cool! So thank you random lady in the big, black SUV. My coffee was super awesome, and next time, I’ll be buying coffee for the person behind me!

What a nice start to the day!

Riding in Cars with Boys – Part Seven

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September 28, 2010

Well, the school year has begun, and I’m slowly adjusting to dragging my poor body out of bed at the asscrack of dawn.

I had horrible news on the first day of school – Mitchell would no longer be riding home with us – except on half days. We were all completely bummed out. Riding without Mitchell? Who would ask the obvious questions? Who would touch Justin inappropriately to get his way? Who would try to lasso mailboxes as we drove by?

Killian, Justin and Not-Kevin were as bummed out as I was. Not-Kevin missed Mitchell so much, he named his backpack Mitchell and occasionally sticks his hand inside it and makes it speak – puppet-style. Interestingly enough, the faux Mitchell actually says very Mitchell-like things.

Though it’s been an adjustment not to have Mitchell with us every day, the after school rides are still entertaining beyond belief. This was the conversation that took place Friday as soon as Killian, Justin and Not-Kevin piled into the car.

Justin: Mrs. Killian’s Mommy, we need a Horn o’ Gondor.

Me: I hate to break it to you, but the ring has been destroyed, there’s no need to call together the Fellowship.

Not-Kevin: And that’s why you’re the cool mom. You know of nerd-like things. But we still need the horn.

Me: So why do you need the Horn of Gondor?

Justin: Not the Horn of Gondor – the Horn ‘o Gondor. There’s a difference and we totally need to call together the Fellowship.

Killian: There’s a quest!

Not-Kevin: We need a boat!

Me: Does this have something to do with Girl Island?

Justin: How did you know? See, Johnny-boy-D is having some trouble with the ladies.

Me: The boat was a dead giveaway. What kind of trouble?

Justin: The kind where the girl he likes is love with this dude who doesn’t know she’s alive and she cries on Johnny-boy-D’s shoulder all the time, and meanwhile, he’s going “I’m here! Pick me! I know you’re alive!” but…

Me: But…he’s firmly in the Friend Zone?

Justin: Exactly! And even though there are epic tales of guys who have escaped the Friend Zone, we all secretly know it’s impossible. They’re just myths passed down to give nerds hope. So we need the Horn o’ Gondor to call together the Fellowship and venture forth to seek Girl Island, the land of hot girls who love nerds.

Me: I thought we’d established that Girl Island was college.

Not-Kevin: Dude, you can’t expect us to wait that long! Besides, the island is out there. It has to be.

Me: I think we’ve exceeded the maximum level of melodrama this car can contain.

Justin: I bet you know where the Horn o’ Gondor is and just won’t tell us.

Killian: It’s probably in her purse.

After convincing them that the Horn o’ Gondor wasn’t in my purse, I suggested that they find a hot girl who loves nerds and just ask her the way to Girl Island. I suggested Justin’s older brother’s girlfriend.

Justin: No can do, Mrs. Killian’s Mommy. It’s like once they get here, they have no memory of Girl Island.

Killian: It’s a brainwashing technique to keep Girl Island from being overrun by desperate nerds in need of love.

Me: So hot girls are sent forth from Girl Island with nothing more than a vague desire to meet nerdy boys who play W.o.W. and Starcraft?

Not-Kevin: And Halo!!!

Justin: Well, when you say it like that…

Me: Okay, no more disparaging of your mythos. Who’s all in the Fellowship?

Justin: Well, me, obviously, Johnny-boy-D, Other John,

Not-Kevin: Me! Me! But not your kid.

Me: Killian can’t be part of the Fellowship?

Justin: A.) He already has a girlfriend who’s been brainwashed and can’t tell us the way back to Girl Island and B.) I think said girlfriend would be very upset if Killian joined the Fellowship.

Killian: Uh…yeah. That would so not be cool.

Not-Kevin: Plus, that would just be greedy. Are you sure the Horn o’ Gondor isn’t in your purse?

I’m seriously tempted to make them a horn and bring it to school one of these days.

Post Conference Sum-up

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September 26, 2010

I can’t believe I’ve been home from the Authors After Dark conference for a week and this is the first time I’ve been able to blog. The day job sort of exploded upon my return, so now I’m trying to get time sensitive projects put to bed so I can get back to writing.

But, I’ll do a brief recap. As always, the best part of conference is spending time with my awesometastic friends. Brynn Paulin and I flew out on the 15th, met up with Mia Watts and Carol Lynne at the airport. We made our way back to the hotel, got our stuff dragged up to the rooms and then waited for Kris Norris. And waited. Hit the bar. And waited. Sent Mia’s terribad drink back. And waited. Our favorite Canadian girl had some transportation issues.

But she finally arrived and I was soooooooooooooooooo happy. I’ve been waiting to meet her in person for well over a year which is a long freaking time in internet time. If you’re talking online to someone almost every day and on phone a lot, a year is a longass time to wait to meet. You know how sometimes you meet people in person that you’ve only corresponded with and it’s weird and awkward? Meeting Kris in person was the polar opposite of that. We all loved her – how can you not? And it was like she’d been in our circle of friends forever. It was the same way when I met Mia and Carol. Instant awesomeness.

But I digress, after Kris got there, we all went out for supper and then collapsed in our hotel room because the next day was our awesome trip to New York. Brynn, her husband and I went a few years ago and had an amazing time, so I was thrilled to go back. We hit the usual spots, Times Square, Battery Park, Central Park, the Staten Island Ferry to see the Statue of Liberty, accidentally rode the subway to the Bronx – which ended up being perfect timing because a huge thunderstorm blew in, but we were able to wait it out on the train. There was lots of people watching to be had – the bitch who felt it was her public duty to publicly mock overweight people, the adorable nerdy guy running his lines for a show (I hope you got the part, dude!) and the homeless man hiding under a hoodie who broke our hearts. Mia, very sweetly, left her granola bars with him.

I think my favorite parts of the day were the carriage ride around Central Park and the ferry ride back to New York where we met a sweet and very funny guy named Jose – nickname, Joey – pronounced Hoe-y. Joey was hilarious and we had a fantastic time laughing our asses off all the way back to the dock.

It was after ten by the time we finally got back to New Jersey. We went out to supper and apparently, I fell asleep at the table. I don’t remember this, but Brynn insists that I did, and I believe her. I was soooooooo tired – we all were. Mia, Kris and I went back up to our room to find Jennifer Armintrout collapsed on of the beds and delirious with exhaustion. Poor baby had her plane diverted to Allentown, PA where she sat on the runway for three hours.

Friday was the official beginning of the conference. I only went to a couple panels – mostly because I was too busy talking to people. But I met some fantastic writers and readers. At the supper where Mia had her close encounter with the sex therapist, we briefly met Soyna Bateman. We got to know her better the next day and discovered that she’s amazing. She’s smart, funny and just an all around great person. She writes urban fantasy and mm. My husband keeps threatening to take the UF book away from me. I keep telling him that I get to read it first, so hands off. However, if I continue to be swamped, I might have to give in.

The book signing on Saturday was great. Got to sit between Brynn and Jen and Sonya was kitty corner to us, so lots of fun was had. After the book signing, Brynn, Kris, Mia and I had our suite party. We gave away a sony e-reader, 20 ebooks, 10 signed print books and plenty of swag. All things considered, I think it went quite well. A lovely couple from Canada won the grand prize and everyone else went home with a print book.

With a few exceptions, it was a fantastic conference. I can’t wait to go next year!

These are just a few of my favorite pictures from the trip. This is a gorgeous mosaic in one of the subways.

This is the John Lennon memorial in Central Park.

I don’t know what this building is, but it overlooks Ground Zero. I got chills when I noticed what was in the windows. Using religious symbols, it says: Coexist. (C
lick on the photo to embiggen.)
A view of the city from the Staten Island Ferry.

The adorable Stella Price all dressed up for the ‘come as your favorite literary character’ party.
The lovely Jennifer Armintrout dressed as the Scarlet Pimpernel’s wife…whose name escapes me.
The fantastic Leanna Renee Hieber dressed as her character, Percy Parker. This costume was amazing!
Our contest winners, Dave and Peggy celebrating at the party.