So I’m at the grocery store this morning checking out at one of those little U-scan things. In passing, I noticed that someone had left a copy of one of those tabloid newspapers next to the scanner. The title of the headlining article was something like Who’s Gay. Who’s Not. I rolled my eyes and finished scanning and bagging my groceries. All of a sudden I hear this big, booming voice behind me say, “Who’s gay?”
I whip around and there’s this dude that looks like the angry dad from that one motorcycle building show – complete with the giant, gray mustache.
Mustache Guy: (stabs his finger at the title of the article and repeats) “Who’s gay?”
Me: (with a smile) “Who cares?”
Mustache Guy: “But look, there’s Meredith Baxter Birney, Martha Stewart, Ricky Martin – they’re all gay.”
Me: (still smiling) “So’s my sister. Like I said, who cares?”
Mustache Guy: (turning an unholy shade of maroon) “Oh! Oh! Oh!”
Me: “Sexual orientation doesn’t matter.”
(Watching him scramble for his mental footing was probably more entertaining than it should have been.)
Mustache Guy: (awkwardly sputtering) “Well, I bet your parents love her just the same, don’t they?”
Me: “Why, yes they do.” (pushing my cart away from the U-scan.)
Mustache Guy: “Well that’s good. I mean they should.” (calling after me as I cross the aisle to the Starbucks kiosk for that coffee I now need more than ever) Good for them. No really – good for them. “
Memo to Mustache Guy: Think before speaking. Please.
On a related note – the word needs more kids like this one. I love Colin!