I know, I know. It’s been way too long without an episode of Riding in Cars with Boys. Lately, it’s been 90% video game talk and well…I’ll admit most of it is unintelligible to me seeing as how I speak very little Area of Effect, Hit Points and Critical Damage.
Right before I left for school to pick up the boys, I got these texts from Killian.
Justin: Good. I see you’ve brought the Bag of Holding. We’ll be needing that for body hiding.
Me: (Peering at the poufy haired blond in my backseat) So…introductions?
Justin: This is Zach. He lives kinda by me and I told him you wouldn’t mind bringing him home. Is that cool?
Me: Yeah, that’s fine.
Justin: This is Mrs. Killian’s Mommy, the coolest mother you will ever meet. Ever.
Me: I’d like that on a shirt, please.
Not Kevin: That can be arranged.
Zach: Nice to meet you. (Turns to Justin) Dude…did you just throw your own mom under a bus.
Justin: Yes. Because my mom is batshit crazy. And so is she, but in a totally good way. You’ll see.
Me: And that’s why I’m adopting you. Okay, so back to the whole body hiding thing. I assume this involves a girl?
Killian: But of course.
Justin: Her name is Meg.
Me: Is she from The Island?
Justin: I’m pretty sure she is. I talk to her every day in math. She likes the same books I like and she thinks Katniss (the heroine of The Hunger Games) is a whiny, selfish bitch, too.
Me: Okay, so ask her out.
Killian: She has a boyfriend. That’s why we need your purse.
Me: Murder is the only way to get a girlfriend?
Justin: Look, I don’t know who your kid killed to get a girlfriend as great as the one he has, but it must have been someone.
Me: Maybe he’s just awesome and she sees that about him.
Justin: Or he drugged her. Did you drug her?
Killian: No, I didn’t drug her.
Justin: Whatever. I don’t believe you. I just know that this guy has to go, then I can move in with the comfort and sympathy.
Not-Kevin: And bingo-bango! Girlfriend!
Me: I’m pretty sure that’s not how it works, guys.
Killian: Well if you’re not gonna help us, maybe Siri will.
Then this happened.
Me: Of course, Siri offers help for hiding a body. Not helping, Siri! And you guys wonder why I fear Skynet.
Sadly, (for Justin, anyway) Meg’s boyfriend hasn’t found his way into my purse or any of the other places Siri suggested.