My afternoons are pretty typical: drive to the high school, pick up Killian, Justin and Not-Kevin, hear about their day, laugh my ass off, drop off Not-Kevin, drop off Justin, drive up to the elementary school with Killian and pick up Corwin and go home.
After dropping off Justin a couple weeks ago, Killian’s phone rang.
Killian: (after a hushed conversation) Hey lady. Do we have any chloroform?
Killian: Why not?
Me: Because this isn’t California circa 1850 and I don’t have to anesthetize anyone to perform botched surgery on a gunshot victim that will likely die of sepsis.
Killian: (into the phone) She says no. (To me) Can we get some?
Me: No we can’t get some. It’s illegal and causes chemical burns if you touch it and ohmygod why the hell do you want chloroform anyway?
Killian: We want to kidnap Justin and take him to the Cake concert in Chicago for his birthday.
Me: Admirable. But no. You’ll have to figure out a way to do it without dangerous chemicals.
Killian: You’re a fun hater.
Me: It’s what I do.
So after much subterfuge, Killian and Not-Kevin are taking Justin to Chicago tomorrow to see Cake. Justin is convinced they’re going to see Thor and crash the ball pit at McDonald’s Playland. (I didn’t have the heart to tell them that McDonald’s hasn’t had a ball pit in years due to lost dirty diapers and who knows what else.) I’m a little concerned at the convincing lies Killian and Not-Kevin have spun, yet I’m delighted that they did it out of a desire to make Justin’s birthday special.
They loved the shirts and are wearing them to “Thor” and the “Ball Pit” tomorrow. I wish I could be there to see Justin’s face when he figures out where he’s actually going for his birthday.