Confession time: I keep having dreams about Lindsey Lohan.
Yes…that Lindsey Lohan.
I have no idea why. I don’t particularly care for her. I think I’ve only ever seen one movie she’s been in (Parent Trap) and that was because one of my daycare kids was watching it. But I keep having dreams about her.
It’s starting to freak me out a little.
Last week, I dreamt that she was the keynote speaker for our conference and she was a nightmare – drunk and argumentative, she could barely stand at the podium to give her keynote address. She was so abusive to all the attendees that Jennifer Armintrout threw down with her bar room brawl style and kicked her ass.
Today, I dreamt that Lindsey spilled nail polish all over my couch. Then she dumped melted wax over one of my favorite skirts tie-dye skirts. I tried to get Jen to beat up Lindsey for me, but she wouldn’t leave the vampire tent revival meeting on the cruise ship we were suddenly on even though they wouldn’t let her in to the meeting.
Instead, she stood outside the entrance and sang church songs really loud. The vampires were understandably pissed. Then Suzanne Graham showed up and was flirting with the captain while Margaret Yang was trying to give a writing workshop and she and my friend Kellie J. were yelling at Suzanne to stop breathing so loudly.
I woke up totally confused and starting to feel a little phobic about Lindsey Lohan. I mean, it’s not to the spiders, clowns and ventriloquist dummies stage yet, but a few more dreams like this and I’m sure it could get there! o.O
I have no idea what these dreams mean. They’re insane. Or…maybe they mean that I am.