It’s time for another photo flash fic, and this one made me laugh as soon as Jess and I stumbled across it.
“I’m serious, Mark. I’m this close to just walking out and never coming back.”
He took a sip of his coffee, his expression placid. “That’s what you said last week.”
“It’s even truer this week.”
He snorted and I crossed my arms over my chest.
“I’m not sure how much more I can take.” My eye twitched at the flickering fluorescent light above the breakroom table.
“If you quit, you’ll have no money. If you have no money, you’ll end up living in a cardboard box. More importantly, I don’t hang out with people who live in cardboard boxes. And you would miss me.”
“You’re a dick. A classist dick.”
“And?” He shrugged. “Besides, quitting is going to look really shitty on your resume. How do you expect to get another job if you just quit for no reason.”
“It’s not for no reason,” I huffed. “She’s driving me nuts. I can’t even think when she’s around. Which is like…constantly.”
“I still don’t think that’s a valid reason for quitting.”
“She’s lost my insurance request forms three times, she relabled all of my presentation files and put panda bear stickers on the all of the folders, she keeps inviting me to sex toy parties–who has sex toy parties every other month?–and now?! Now, she’s dressing like me.”
Mark snorted. “Don’t you think maybe you’re exaggerating a little?”
“Last Tuesday, she asked me where I got my burgundy dress. The next day, she strolled in wearing the same one. That’s the fourth time that’s happened. It’s fucking creepy.”
He looked like he was about to laugh, but shoved a cookie in his mouth instead. Opening the file folder he’d brought on break with him, he began making notes on a spreadsheet.
I pushed to my feet. “You wouldn’t think it was so funny if it was happening to you.”
“I admit the panda sticker thing is a little weird,” he murmured as he turned the page, “but you’re acting like she’s trying to single white female you.”
“Yeah, well, wait til she dyes her hair blonde and my dead body turns up in a ditch somewhere.”
“Now, you’re just being dramatic,” he said, highlighting a column of numbers.
“I’m telling you, she’s got crazy eyes. Just maintain eye contact with her sometime, and you’ll see.”
He opened his mouth as he looked up and his eyes widened.
“She’s standing right behind me isn’t she?”
That’s it for me, be sure to see what the other bloggers came up with.