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Bronwyn Green

The Corner of Quirky & Kinky

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November 2, 2014 by admin | 0 comments

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Bronwyn Watches…
Flash Fiction
Random Personal Shit
Riding in Cars with Boys
Texts from Cait
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bronwyngreenauthor

Yesterday, I *finally* got to meet my great-niece(

Yesterday, I *finally* got to meet my great-niece(!!!), Ms. Kennedy AKA Squish. She’s so sweet and cuddly and absolutely the best burper ever. And she has the sweetest smile in the whole world. She reminds me so much of my niece, Alli. But just look at this sweet little poppet! I’m wildly in love with her.

#newbaby #sweetbaby #greatniece #lovethisgirl #family #writersofinstagram #writerslife #auntlife #squish

Her Grace, Willow, the Dowager Duchess, would wish

Her Grace, Willow, the Dowager Duchess, would wish you a Happy Caturday, but she’s very busy getting pets from her papa, and nothing else matters.

#cat #catsofinstagram #caturday #willow #thedowagerduchess #caturdaycuties #caturdayafternoon #lifeeithcats

I swear, I have so many pictures to scan, I could

I swear, I have so many pictures to scan, I could probably make scanning my full time job for the next three years. But I found this little gem today. This is my Aunt Carol who’s also my godmother, and me on my First Communion. And as you can see, my awkwardness in front of cameras has been with me since the beginning. And as recent photos will attest, I did not, in fact, outgrow it as was promised.

#TBT #throwbackthursday #throwback #Ilovemyaunt #awkward #Ilovemyfamily

So… this happened the other day. #theoneIhave

So… this happened the other day.

#theoneIhave #marriage #oneact #oneactplay #writerslife #writersofinstagram #tonka #tonkafiretruck #antiquing #antiquestore #warehouseone #warehouseoneantiques

(Caption included for the visually impaired)

Marriage and the Firetruck:
A Play in One Act

Cast of Characters
A writer
Her husband

Time
Present Day

Setting
An antique store the writer wanted to check out

Husband: *lifts Tonka firetruck from top shelf* I used to have this exact model when I was a kid.

Writer: *fiddles around with the hose* Oh, wow. This little fire hyrandt is cast iron.

Husband: Yeah, you can hook a garden hose to it and then spray water from the truck. I used to dig little tenches in the driveway, fill them with model airplane fuel and set them on fire. Then I'd put out the flames with the fire hose .
Writer: *blinks and stares and blinks some more* We clearly had very, very differnt childhoods.

Just when I think my husband can’t surprise me,

Just when I think my husband can’t surprise me, I catch him singing, “Don cha wish your kitten was a freak like me?”to Creamsicle, and I can’t stop laughing. And she’s not having it.

#pussycatdolls #cat #catsofinstagram #catsagram #herroyalsassinessclementinecreamsicletheforbidden #creamsiclecat #creamsicle #oneorangebraincell #ilovemyhusband #hemakesmelaugh #doncha

So, that surgery I was supposed to have today? Y

So, that surgery I was supposed to have today?

Yeah. Didn’t happen.

I was prepped, had my mouth washed out with the most foul antibiotic mouth wash known to man, had my nose swabbed twice with iodine which is just eeeewwwwwwww *full body shudder*, I was wearing the sensory nightmare that passes for a surgical gown at Blodgett, I had that weird compression machine going on my legs, and my IV was running after the nurse blew through two other veins, and it was 15 minutes to go time when the anesthesiologist and the surgeon came in to tell me they were canceling.  
I’ve mentioned before that I have aortic valve damage from having under-treated chronic (on the part of my pediatrician—not my parents) strep throat. When the strep bacteria isn’t combatted with the necessary amount of antibiotics for a long enough time, the bacteria becomes stronger and can create a toxin that attacks the heart. Usually, it goes for the mitral valve, but about 20% of people end up with aortic damage. I’m in that 20%.

(It’s me. I’m the problem.)

The anesthesiologist was adamant about not putting me under because the risk of a heart attack during the surgery was too great. He seemed genuinely surprised that I survived the appendectomy without going into cardiac arrest—so, you know, that was cool.

He said absolutely no surgery for me until I get the heart valve replaced. So, I guess my alien baby bump, and all the joy it brings, is here to stay for a while. We’re waiting to hear from my cardiologist on what’s next.

But I’m stressed and sad and mad and feeling really fucking defeated. I’m also wildly grateful, because a heart attack is a big NO THANK YOU.

Also, I was just reading my post (non) surgical notes in my online medical chart thingy, and I saw where the anesthesiologist noted: “Patient appears age stated.”

I just yelled, “Bitch, I absolutely DO NOT. My skin care routine is 🔥.”
My husband was like, “You’re upset about that?”
“My honor and my serums have been BESMIRCHED! Fuck, yes, I’m upset about that.”

*** Not that there’s ANYTHING wrong with any of us looking our ages. But after everything else today, IT WAS A BRIDGE TOO FAR.

So, I’m having surgery tomorrow, and I’ve been

So, I’m having surgery tomorrow, and I’ve been an anxiety monster ever since they scheduled it. Last September, when my appendix burst, the surgeon had to cut through a hernia repair that I had when I was around two years old. There wasn’t any way around it, and she told me that she couldn’t repair it at the same time as my appendectomy because the risk of infection was too great.

For the last 5+ months, I’ve been walking around looking like I’ve got a six-month baby bump. It’s also been painful AF. And I’ve had to drink three of these vile things a day. Imagine the sweetest most cloying flavor you can think of, then multiply that by 68. Did I mention that it’s disturbingly thick? *shudder* I’ve got 2 out of the 15 to finish, and then tomorrow, I have to drink a different one that’s clear and strawberry flavored. Gotta be honest, I’m not really feeling hopeful that one will be any easier to choke down.

I’m glad to be getting this stupid hernia fixed, but I’m not being able to take any of my meds for a week, has made my anxiety ramp up to extreme levels. I guess that’s one good thing about emergency surgery vs. scheduled surgery—there’s no time to freak out and catastrophize literally everything. But, by this time tomorrow, I should be in recovery. Here’s hoping I don’t get the same week and a half worth of post-surgical hallucinations like I did with my appendix.

So…wish me luck, I guess…? 😬

#anxiety #anxietyoverload #surgery #surgeryshake #surgeryprep #writersofinstagram #writerslife #justwantthisoverwith

You know how you always hear that representation m

You know how you always hear that representation matters? It absolutely does.

I love that I’m seeing more neurodivergent protagonists. Often, when you see characters with ADD/ADHD, ASD, OCD, or CPTSD in fiction, they represent a problem to be solved by the neurotypical protagonists. I can’t speak for all neurodivergent people, but personally, encountering this trope doesn’t feel great. I don’t believe authors use those tropes out of malice, but it can still leave a mark on neurodivergent readers and the readers who care for those with neurodivergencies.

I was in my 40s when I was diagnosed with Inattentive ADD/ADHD, and a few years older when I was diagnosed with CPTSD. The diagnoses explained SO. MUCH. During the last few years, I’ve learned so much about my particular neurodivergency, and it’s made such a difference in my life.

When I read Jordon Bloom’s book, THE SCENT OF HAPPINESS, I was thrilled to see how realistically and lovingly (yes, lovingly) Bloom portrayed Brooke, one of the main characters, who happens to have ADD/ADHD. Like many of us neurodivergent peeps, Brooke’s life is certainly impacted by her ADD/ADHD, but that’s not her only, or even defining, trait. She’s a fully-realized character who’s neurodivergance is part of who she is—just like the rest of us.

Seeing the love story develop between Brooke and the very neurotypical Theo was fascinating. He doesn’t fall in love with her in spite of or because of her ADD/ADHD—he falls in love with her because of who she is. And that person just happens to be neurodivergent.

I don’t want to leave anyone with the impression that this book *only* focuses on ADD/ADHD. It’s an awesome contemporary romance full of great characters and dialogue and satisfying character arcs and plot, not to mention humor and heat. It’s just a bonus for this chick that it also feels like a bit like a love letter to those of with ADD/ADHD

(Continued in the comments.)

Last night was so much fun!@jones.kayleigh and Jes

Last night was so much fun!@jones.kayleigh and Jessica, Other, and I went to go see our girl, @jenny_trout as Bea, in @cst_kalamazoo ‘s production of Something Rotten, and it was incredible!!! Jenny was absolutely amazing—but TBF, the whole cast was great, and the show itself is hilarious!!!

I also got to make Jenny’s costume which was so much fun. I forgot what it’s like yo see my handiwork on stage. It was pretty cool.

#bestoffriendsandbestofwomen #centerstagetheaterkalamazoo #jennytrout #sewing #sewingproject #sewersgonnasew #costume #costumedesign #sewersofinstagram #craftyasfuck #craftyaf #crafty #musicaltheatre

Willow, aka the Dowager Duchess, would wish you a

Willow, aka the Dowager Duchess, would wish you a Happy Caturday, but she’s very busy warming herself on her papa’s laptop because we failed her by allowing her heating pad to turn off.

#cat #catsofinstagram #catstagram #caturday #caturdayevening #happycaturday #writersofinstagram #writerslife #lifewithcats #willow #thedowagerduchess

Throwing it back to the first picture I ever took

Throwing it back to the first picture I ever took on my very first camera. These are some of my very favorite people—my Aunt Sue and my cousins, Sarah and Stephanie.

#ilovemyfamily #cousins #cousinsister #family #tbt #throwback #throwbackthursday #writersofinstagram #writerslife #familylove

So. Much. Sewing. Underskit: Done Overskirt: Don

So. Much. Sewing.

Underskit: Done
Overskirt: Done
Peasant blouse: Done
Slops: Done
Corset: Halfway
Doublet: Halfway
Hat: Cut out (thinking about making it reversible…)

I’ve been busy making costumes for @jenny_trout who’ll be in the @cst_kalamazoo production of Something Rotten! It’s been a minute (and then some) since I’ve done any sewing for a show, but I’m having fun. And, as you can see, Creamsicle’s been helping.

#sewing #sewingproject #sewersgonnasew #sewersofinstagram #somethingrotten #costume #costumecreation #cat #catsofinstgram #catsgram #creamsicle #herroyalsassinessclemintinecreamsicletheforbidden, #writersofinstagram #writerslife #bestoffriendsandbestofwomen

Look how freaking cute this vintage basket is that

Look how freaking cute this vintage basket is that @itsvictoriatime and my sister gave me last night as a Tuesday present! It’s cottagecore AF. Now I have to figure out what to keep it in.

It also had a little Princess Leia figure in it *and* the most amazingly delicious cookies on the planet. V makes these incredible shortbread cookies that taste better than any cookie I’ve ever had. These are straight up Ted Lasso level cookies.

#vintage #vintagebasket #flowerfairies #cottagecore #cottagecoreaesthetic #cottagecoreaf #writersofinstagram #writerslife #bestoffriendsandbestofwomen

Past me clearly understood the value of a nap. P

Past me clearly understood the value of a nap.

Present me wonders if it’s too late in the evening for a nap.

#tbt #throwbackthursday #throwback #naptime #wtitersofinstagram #writerslife

Her Royal Sassiness, Clementine Creamsicle, The Fo

Her Royal Sassiness, Clementine Creamsicle, The Forbidden would wish you a Happy Caturday, but she’s very busy trying to destroy this orange interloper that my husband was trying to snack on.

#cat #catsofinstagram #catsgram #creamsicle #creamsiclecat #herroyalsassinessclementinecreamsicletheforbidden #herroyalsassiness #oneorangebraincell writerslife #writersofinstagram #lifewithcats

Sometimes, you’re at the fabric store and you se

Sometimes, you’re at the fabric store and you see Dwight Schrute fabric. At that point, you have to buy some and make your brother a cover for his work notebook. And obviously, you have to make a pocket protector pocket for his pens.

#theoffice #dwightschrute #sewing #sewingproject #sewersofinstagram #craftyasfuck #craftyaf #crafty #writersofinstagram #writerslife

I arted last week. The first one was a birthday gi

I arted last week. The first one was a birthday gift for my girl, @itsvictoriatime It’s got her zodiac sign as well as my sister’s.

The second one was painted just because I had some paint mixed that I didn’t want to throw away. I have no idea what I’m going to do with it.

#iarted #mixedmedia #mixedmediaart #crafty #craftyasfuck #craftyaf #writersofinstagram #writerslife #creating #creatingforthejoyofit

Creamsicle would wish you a Happy Caturday, but as

Creamsicle would wish you a Happy Caturday, but as you can see, she’s terribly busy hiding in her cave and stalking this ribbon.

#cat #catsofinstagram #catstagram #oneorangebraincell #gingerninja #caturday #caturdaycuties #caturdayevening #herroyalsassinessclementinecreamsicletheforbidden #creamsiclecat #creamsicle

Yesterday, was my sister-in-law and dear friendo’s birthday, and it was the best! Let me introduce you to the ingredients of our amazing night.

LJo, Bill, Victoria, Cait, (some of my very favorite people) and I went to dinner at Roam. The food was amazing. I got bao and mango sticky rice, and this delicious drink called butterfly effect, which was sooooooooooo good!

Then, we went across the street and saw SIX! OMG, it was absolutely incredible! I’ve loved the musical since Jenny Trout introduced me to it on a road trip a couple of retreats ago, and I fell in love with the soundtrack. After seeing the stage show, I’m even more in love. The history and church history jokes were hilarious.

I was a perfect evening. Though, I was considering trying to steal several of the light fixtures from the restaurant…

#roam #six #sixthemusical #birthdaygirl #friends #writersofinstagram #writerslife #musicaltheater #perfectevening

Creamsicle would wish you a Happy Caturday, but sh

Creamsicle would wish you a Happy Caturday, but she’s far too busy being saucy.

#cat #catsofinstagram #catstagram #caturday #caturdaycuties #caturdayafternoon #writersofinstagram #writerslife #lifewithcats #gingerninja #oneorangebraincell

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