Bronwyn Green

The Corner of Quirky & Kinky

It’s time for another Promptly Penned post. As always, the prompt will be in bold in the text. I don’t usually like to do this, but this is an excerpt from a WIP.

I wrinkled my nose at the sharp scent of the dry-erase marker as I carefully wrote the recipe on both sides of the portable white board.


I whirled toward the sound of my best friend’s voice, ruining my careful lettering. Glaring at her, I capped the marker and set it on the board’s metal rail.

“Soooooo…what?” I asked.

“So, what’s going on with you and the hot substitute?”

I rolled my eyes. “Who says anything’s going on?”

Luisa hopped up onto a prep table, crossed her legs and waited. Staring at me. Waiting. “How long have I known you?”

“Since third grade,” I muttered, crossing my arms over my chest.

Luisa smiled that self-satisfied smile she knew annoyed me. “Okay, so lemme ask again, what’s up with you and the hot substitute? Also, cute dress. I don’t think I’ve seen that before.”

Sighing, I pulled a chair out from the table and flopped into it. “I’ll explain about him, but you’re gonna need to buckle up.”

Lu kicked off her shoes and tucked her feet up under her, bangles jingling around her wrist. “Bring it.”

“You know how Austin is the biggest manchild in the history of manchildren?”

She nodded with a grimace.

I took a deep breath. “I got up this morning, got ready to come here, loaded up all six dozen eggs, the cheeses, veggies, then tripped over Beer Can Mountain that Austin so thoughtfully left in the hallway, splattered stale beer all over myself, went into my room to change, the only things that are clean were this dress and the bridesmaid dress from your wedding—”

“That would have been a bold choice for cooking class.”

I snorted. “Anyway, I went to grab my computer because I’ve got invoicing to do, and it’s gone. I looked everywhere. Turns out, one of Manchild’s asshole friends stole it and pawned it.”

Lu’s eyes narrowed, and her nostrils flared.

“Yeah, so there was a whole thing with the cops. And by the time I’d filed a report and bitched out Austin, the eggs were warm, and on my way to take them out to the trash I saw Austin’s car sitting there and,” I put my hands over my face, “I lost my damn mind and threw every single egg at his car. I just unloaded. There was egg everywhere. It even slid inside the open window.”

Luisa’s laugh exploded from her on a sharp burst of sound. “That’s my boo.”

I peeked through my fingers at her. “Except…it wasn’t Austin’s car.”

Lu’s eyes widened, and she slapped her hand over her mouth. I could tell she wanted to laugh.  

“And then? I was feeling snappish when I brought those worksheets to that guy like you asked me to and lectured him about not asking for last minute printing.” I felt my face flush all over again. Heat rose from my chest all the way up my neck and face to the top of my scalp. “And then, he turned around. It was his car I egged, Lu. The sub’s. And the egg slime got all over his seats and his worksheets.”

She did chuckle then. She didn’t even pretend to try not to. “And then you dropped the papers when you realized, I assume?”

I nodded.

Her chuckling evolved into giggling. I scowled at her when the giggling turned into helpless laughter and tears leaked over her cheeks. “Why are you glaring at me?” she choked out. “This the funniest thing I’ve heard in ages.”

“Currently, I’m hoping you’ll spontaneously combust.

That just made her laugh harder.

“This is a nightmare.” I groaned.

“Yep.” She snorted. “Bailey and the terrible, no good, very bad day.”

“Exactly. I think I’ll move to Australia,” I added, quoting our favorite kids’ book.

Luisa snorted, hopped off the table and dropped a kiss on the top of my head. “Some days are like that. Even in Australia, she quoted back to me.”

It was good to have people who really got you. Even when they laughed at your pain and humiliation.

That’s it for me, today. Be sure to check out the other bloggers’ stories by clinking on their names.

Jess * Kayleigh * Siobhan * Kris

3 thoughts on “Promptly Penned: Spontaneous Combustion

  1. Kris Norris says:

    I freaking love this. All of this. And I’m sitting here eagerly waiting for more!!!

  2. Siobhan Muir says:

    Oh, I ache for her and her no good, very bad day. Great flash, Bronwyn, and I look forward to reading the whole thing. 🙂

  3. Pansy Petal says:

    Loved this! WIP? I can’t wait to read the finished book.

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