Bronwyn Green

The Corner of Quirky & Kinky

Oh my freaking God. I have no idea what I was thinking. None.

So today, we went to my nephew Nolen’s first birthday party, and much adorableness was had. Several hours of babies (3) toddlers (2) and teenagers (also 2) and all the assorted parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents. It was fun, but I needed a nap afterward.

Then we got home just in time for Corwin’s birthday party.

For some unfathomable reason, when Corwin asked if he could have an overnight birthday party and invite The ADHD Triplets, I said, Sure, honey. Sounds like a fab idea.


Seriously, I need my damn head examined. Or perhaps electroshock therapy.

Okay, so they’re not triplets, and only two of them are related, but I’ve come to realize that children multiply exponentially. So if you have one kid, you’ve actually got one kid. If you have two kids, it feels more like four. There are currently five kids in my house…actually, let’s call it four because Killian is staying far, far away from the other four.

Now, I have math fail in a big way, but multiplied exponentially, it feels like there are thirty-two freaking twelve and thirteen year olds in my damn house right now, and they’re wild little buttheads. My husband just walked out here and looked at me and said, “I thought you loved me.” But if I have to suffer, so does he.

The noise is deafening as they race up and down the stairs (hardwood, no carpet or padding) and they just asked me if they could sled down the stairs in their sleeping bags. I’ve been pegged so many times in the head with nerf darts that I’ve lost count. There’s no volume control on any of them and while I like a ‘your mom’ joke as well as the next chick, if I hear that phrase one more time tonight, I’ll lose it. I’m seriously considering drugging the cupcakes.

Behold the awesome nerfness. It’s all rapid firey goodness. The kittens are in heaven chasing down the evil foam invaders while the boys are playing “close quarter combat” in my upstairs hallway. You know…I’m pretty sure my aunt is still all about the valium. I’m feeling a visit coming on – just not sure if I’m grinding it up as sprinkles on the frosting or keeping it for myself…

0 thoughts on “Pls to shoot me now. Kaithxbai.

  1. Chris says:

    But at least you still have your sense of humor? No? Not helping?

  2. Can't they just…I dunno…play video games or something?

    (#456 of “phrases I never thought I'd hear myself say.”)

  3. Dakota Rebel says:

    This is my fear of boys! Right here! Jr. does not do any of this. She enjoys Nerf wars, but she does them at outside karate events. She does not have or even want sleep overs. Her friends, when they do visit, are quiet and watch movies.

    Perhaps I can raise this baby boy to be a hermit like his mommy.


  4. Kim says:

    I remember my two daughters sliding down the stairs with your boys to sled the stairs in sleeping bags and nearly breaking the door and I was having a meltdown!!

    And well.. it only happens once a year. Think happy thoughts. it will be over soon!

  5. Nothing could dislodge something so great as Bron's sense of humor.

    Sorry Jane Austen – had to twist your quote just a tiny bit.


  6. Ashley Ladd says:

    Now you know why I'm totally insane. I had five of my own kids so that was the least number I had in my house. When they brought friends or start fighting, I was in big trouble. Oh! And four out of my five were diagnosed with ADHD. One with ADHD also has ODD. I can sure sympathize. Hugs.

  7. Damn I remember those days and the cries of Moooooooom Order Pizza!!!!

  8. Oh, this is very funny!! I know, only for us who watch from a distance 🙂
    Thank you for sharing this story, Bron! It made me laugh! 🙂

  9. mamatulip says:

    BWAHAHA. Oh, I have been there. That “I thought you loved me” part? Hysterical. Hysterical because I have lived it, too.

  10. Actually if your talking an exponential progression 4 to the 4th is 256. That sound about right for 4 teenage boys? Does to me.

  11. @ Chris – gotta keep the sense of humor – so much healthier than the rage 😉

    @ Margaret – Dude! I *never* thought I'd hear you say that!!!

    @ Dakota – it'll be okay, promise. For the most part, boys really are pretty awesome.

    @ Kim – lol – I remember that, too. The look on your face was priceless. 😀

    @ Genella {{{hugs}}}

    @ Big hugs and much sympathy back at'cha Ashley

    @ Regina – believe it or not, Corwin hates pizza (not sure how this one sprang from my pizza-lovin' womb, but it's true) His cry is more like “Will you go get us some salt and vinegar potato chips?”

    @ Janna – you know I'm always happy to share my pain if it makes you laugh. 😉

    @ MamaT – Silly, silly husband. I'm glad I'm not the only one with that guy. 😀

    @ Cindy – See? I told you I had math fail in a big way! 256 sounds way more like it. 😀

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