Welp, looks like it’s time for more Therapy with Bron. Intellectually, I’m sure that the majority of these are rooted in anxiety and depression. Emotionally… *shrugs* Sometimes, I’m a train wreck. Before we get started, I should mention that I’m not wandering around feeling like this all the time. Like anything else, insecurity flare-ups are a thing. And some of these are obviously far more impactful than others, so thank fuck, they’re not always lurking in my head–well, except for number two. That one’s pretty much stuck.
Let’s do this, shall we?
As always, these are in no particular order.
10.) Parenting – Most of the time, I feel pretty good about my parenting skills. But there are times that I worry that I’ve irretrievably fucked up my kids for all time.
9.) Body Image – Being fat, I’m pretty insecure about my appearance. I’m great at body positivity for others, However, I’m super bad at extending it toward myself.
8.) Being a Disappointment – Worrying about disappointing the people I care about is a common theme.
7.) How I Look in Photos – Of my four siblings, only two of us are photogenic. I am not one of those two. Other than my mom (who’s adorable, btw) I’m the least photogenic person I know. No…really. It’s bad.
6.) Sounding Dumb – I tend to express myself better in writing than I do verbally, so I often worry that I sound stupid. Also, my voice is obnoxious. Actually, I often worry that I’m legitimately not very bright.
5.) People Just Being Nice (part one) – I sometimes worry that people who say they like my books or leave positive reviews are just being nice because they don’t want to hurt my feelings.
4.) People Just Being Nice (part two) – I also sometimes worry that I’m super annoying and people talk to me because they’re just being nice and don’t want to hurt my feelings.
3.) Imposter Syndrome – It’s that clawing feeling that no matter how well I do, it’s not because I’ve worked hard to learn my craft or have dedicated tons of time and effort writing these books. Nope. It’s all because of some cosmic misalignment of the stars, and eventually everything will go back to how it’s supposed to be. And I guess I’ll be unemployed. In Greenland.
2.) Working Out in Front of Anyone – This is super pathetic, but I’m not even comfortable working out in my own home if my family is here. You know, my family who I love and adore and who I know love and adore me. I’ve never been comfortable working out in front of others, but this experience, a few years ago, definitely made it worse. So, yeah…super insecure about that.
1.) Self-Promo – I wish I could be one of those authors who can say things like, “I’m so excited for you guys to read this!” Or, “This book is amazing, you guys are going to love it!” Or, “This book is so insanely hot!” Or, any number of other positive things authors say to encourage readers to pick up their books. What is your secret?! How do you do that?! I’m afraid that if I tried it, I’d come off looking like a self-obsessed asshole.
That’s probably enough insecurity from me, today. Be sure to check out Gwen’s post and see what’s lurking in her head.
*hugs* Would you believe I like these posts because it lets me know I am not alone. Other people have these insecurities too. I have so many myself that I have shut myself inside my house so I don’t have to deal with . . . Whatever. Sad really. The parenting issue – oh wow – huge hang up here. My surviving child is so screwed up. (Actually she is adulting quiet nicely – in spite of me.) I haven’t allowed a picture to be taken of me for hmmmm . . . well, years. I am so the changeling. And this week, is my abandonment phase again. I get that one quite regularly. Well, enough. I can get depressed just getting out of bed, so back to avoidance therapy in a good book. BTW – I sincerely like you and your books. I am not just trying to be nice. Deal with it! 😀
OMG! Yes, I can identify with all of them, other than the parenting. And, if I had kids, I’d have that one too. I can tell you, that I’ m not being nice and I never think you’re annoying. Far from it. I think you’re insightful, caring, and generally awesome. I also think you take pretty good pics. I hate having my picture taken, which I’m sure is why I never look good. Vicious Circle.
Okay but you are super cute in photos, you’ve got beautiful hair, stunning eyes and a lovely smile, you’ve made a huge positive difference in my life even though we’ve never met in person and I’ve learned loads about writing from you, sooo…?
(I know nobody can really argue with the garbage in our heads, but I’m indignant enough to try anyway! <3)
ALL OF THIS (well minus the parenting for me) <3