Oh the mistakes. So, so many mistakes. Let me tell you about them.
Things that happened in my first novel that will never see the light of day.
1.) Utter lack of internal conflict. Seriously. There was none. It was so boring.
2.) There was a Big Misunderstanding. Actually, it was really more of a small to medium one, and also, it was super contrived.
3.) Characters were so flawless, I ended up rolling my eyes and wanting to throat punch them.
4.) Literally all these people ate was Chinese takeout. They weren’t bloated with water weight at the end of the novel, but they really should have been. I feel like diuretics were in order for everyone.
5.) Characters who use each other’s names every other sentence. No one says each other’s name that much. Not even a frustrated parent trying to get the attention of a child who’s willfully ignoring everything.
6.) Head hopping. Oh, the head hopping – randomly jumping from one character’s thoughts to another’s – sometimes, line by line.
I’m sure there’s more, but I think this is about as much self-examination as I can handle tonight.
Be sure to check out the mistakes the other bloggers feel they made. And if you’re a writer, too, definitely share some of yours.
Did your book even have a name?? Have you thought about taking it and fixing it? Ahhhh, questions, I have millions.
Dude, there is literally no fixing it. It’s just the literal worst. You know…I think it did have a name, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it was. At some point, I’ll have to go dig it up and check. 🙂
Another reassuring post from you! I wrote my first alleged romance novel one feverish summer when I was 13 and then re-wrote it when I was 14-15. I still have both versions. I can’t bring myself to look but, from what I remember, horrors included:
– Everybody… speaking… like… like… th-this… all… the… t-time. I was trying to convey heightened emotion but it just sounded like they were constantly wracked with great, heaving sobs. They just had a lot of feelings, okay?
– The angst. Oh, the angst. I alternated between the MCs’ viewpoints each chapter and all the hero thought about was how awful everything was and how awful he was and how OMGSOWONDERFUL the heroine was, but mostly how unspeakably awful he was and how no one would ever love him, least of all the heroine, because of said wonderful/awful dichotomy. (It was a Beauty and the Beast story, obviously. I like to think that Faustina is better!)
– The heroine DEFINITELY WASN’T ME. Definitely. Because her hair was brown and mine is red. See? Totally different. I don’t know how anyone could say it was meant to be me. STOP SAYING SHE’S ME!
– She was also 24, because that seemed incredibly grown up. I am 24 now. It is not.
I’d love to hear more about your first novel if you ever do feel like digging it out!
I forgot to say, mostly because I was distracted about never being a grown up, your first romance sounds kinda delightful. Seriously, so. 🙂 If I ever find the courage (and the file) I’ll revisit that house of horrors on the blog.
This—> She was also 24, because that seemed incredibly grown up. I am 24 now. It is not.
made me choke on my tea. In the best of ways, of course.
Also, from my spot over here on the far, far side of 24, I feel pretty confident saying there’s no such thing as grown up. Either that, or it’s just a state I’m incapable of achieving.
I’m definitely beginning to suspect that true grown ups are a myth. I think I’m about as grown up as I want to be!
I guess the story I’m talking about has a certain naive charm, but I wouldn’t go as far as “delightful”. I’ll show you some of mine if you show me some of yours! 😛